I too have a startup, family, and a full time job. I found limiting the job to 8 hours 5 days a week has been the most important thing.<p>I make enough money to make sure my wife does not work so she can take the kids to school, pick them up, and help them with there homework. One important thing I do is to make sure our kids are in activities Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, piano, guitar, church group, and a few other things. I believe these things help make a person capable of fitting in (unlike myself!). I spend time with the kids before they go to school, before they go to bed, and I put them to bed every night talking over there day and motivating them for tomorrow.<p>I skipped the partners part but at the sake of speed of development. If I had a partner I would be making money now. I am winding down how much I am working at the job I have and focusing on making money from my startup.
Unfortunately, the phrase "startup" has two meanings. Generally, it means the big, world-changing, swing for the fences type of startups that consume all of your time (and then some). Fail fast or prove your idea so you can get investment to grow it rapidly. It would not be a good idea to try and do one of these while you have a full time job and family.<p>The other meaning is sometimes called a "lifestyle business" (I dislike this term). The scope is something you can handle in nights and weekends which limits your ceiling somewhat. There's a full-time job providing income which takes away some of the hunger for success that comes with working for free. But the time constraint and income requirement means that you will probably seek profitability sooner and have that in mind from the outset. If it can be comfortably run on the side, then a home run isn't necessary (an extra 40K/yr would be a welcome success for this type of startup). This kind can be done with a family and day job, and I think this is the type of startup he is talking about.
I want to ask a slightly separate question along these lines.<p>/rant<p>As a hacker/startup junkie, do you find yourself becoming judgmental of others and their work habits? A friend of mine was talking about their 'long workday' since they had to stay half an hour late, and I ended up ranting about how thats not a long work day. I felt a bit like a jerk after, since I hardly want to tell people how to live their lives, but it seemed like this talented individual is wasting their skills and lacks motivation.<p>I suppose what I am asking is does anyone else find that most people they know seem relatively unmotivated? Another situation I find common is a friend and my brother both talk about quitting work and starting their own thing, but when I actually worked briefly with both they seemed to average only a few hours of work a week into the project. How do you politely suggest that with that level of effort that they may not be suited to a startup?<p>I like to think of myself as open minded and non-judgmental, but for people I care for that seems to get thrown out the window.<p>/end rant
I don't have kids, but I do have a fiancee.<p>The trick has been that she goes to bed early. So I work 9-7, hang out with her 7-10, hack 10-2, rinse and repeat.<p>It's definitely forced me to improve my work habits. I say as I'm procrastinating on it.
Many people are encouraged to just "go for it" because if they fail they can always go back to an ordinary job and try again. However the risk equation changes when you have young children you care about since (in most cases) you're the only parents they have and they are only young once. Even if your startup is successful you'll never be able to get back the time you miss with them.
I think what you outline is the steps that would maximize one's chances of continuing to be in the situation that you're in. Your actual "success" would depend on how fast you get out of this situation. It seems in general it would be really heavy on one to deal with all three at at time and would prevent him from focusing on any of them.