I was born and brought up in India and have lived in the U.S for around 6+ years before finally returning back home recently.<p>Living outside your own country for a significant length time is pretty mind expanding. This is what I have realized:<p>Culture is a very real thing. A lot of the thoughts that we have are not really our own. They are a product of the culture around you. It is pretty incredible to observe.<p>This is just from my perspective.<p>America values rugged individualism while most asian countries including India, China, Japan, Philippines value the opposite.
Here are some things I found pretty interesting.<p>America: Family<p>1. Your child doesn't owe anything to you. No child asks to be born. You made the choice to have a baby and so it is your duty and responsibility to educate them well and provide basic comfort and security. It is your responsibility to meet your own emotional needs. American parents feel like they are failures if their kid continues to stay in their home after they reach adulthood. Even the adult children feel the same way. I remember Travis Kalanick mentioning the time he was living with his parents as pretty depressing (after his startup Redswoosh failed) If you want to insult someone here you can say, "Are you still staying with your parents?. You need to move out of your parent's basement!"<p>Once the kids move out, the parents reconnect with each other and will try and pursue their own interests.<p>India<p>Your life is a gift from your parents who will be the number one priority in your life. You owe your parents everything. Indian parents will do <i>ANYTHING</i> and <i>everything</i> for their kids. They will sell their property and get into a lot of debt, if it comes to that, to educate their kids and to make sure they have a great life. Kids are expected to honor and listen to their parents. Even after marriage there is a tug of war between the mom/dad who feels that their kid is being stolen from them by the spouse. If you want to insult an Indian you can just say, "He/she doesn't respect elders". In India parents work hard so their kids can enjoy their money and property. People admire kids who stay and live with their parents. Even celebrities who are worth many millions of dollars stay together with their parents as a family and there is nothing disrespectful about it. The children are an extension of their selves and there is a deep life long attachment. The kids will take care of their parents in their old age. People get very offended if you ask them if their parents are living in an old age home/retirement/assisted facilities.<p>"A marriage is considered to be a union between two families and not two people!", is a common dialogue heard everywhere in India. Most people say this as if it is the most obvious truth. It's almost like saying the sky is blue. In the US, a marriage is considered a union between two individuals and not two families.<p>Again, here is the question. How come most Americans feel exactly the same way? How come most Indians feel the opposite?<p>2. The need to learn a foreign language.<p>Most Indians know three languages. 1. Their own native language (like, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Gujarati etc) 2. Hindi 3. English. A lot of people know and understand upto 4 or even 5 languages. So, there is nothing special about knowing different languages. People won't be impressed if you tell them you know French, Spanish or Mandarin. It's like telling someone that you can hop on one leg for a few miles. A difficult but pointless achievement.<p>For many Americans, knowing a foreign language is a big deal. They will go to great lengths to learn Spanish, French or Mandarin. Mark Zuckerberg showed off his ability to speak Mandarin a while back. I read one answer in Quora (which an elderly person wrote) mentioning that he regrets not being able to learn a foreign language. Tim Ferris shows off his foreign language acquisition skills to impress visitors to his blog and tv shows.<p>Again I have to ask the same question: How come most people in the US feel this way? To an outsider it seems really silly and absurd.<p>3. "4 people". In India, many people live for the sake of society. This is true everywhere. Most people want to impress others but it is at a completely different level in India. People make life changing decisions not based on their own interests but for the sake of society. There are 20+ plus languages in India and interestingly, almost every single language has this phrase "4 people". Are you planning to quit your job at Google to do your own startup? What will the "4 people" around you think? What do you mean you are not getting married? What will the "4 people" say? Conformity is everything. If your older sibling or younger sibling marries someone from a different race/caste/religion then it means that your family doesn't have a value system and it will be difficult for you to find a spouse because you come from a family with no values.<p>4. Inquisitiveness. Indian people are very inquisitive. If you are overweight, they will advise you to start dieting. "Looks like you've been eating a lot. You need to lose weight", is a common refrain. They will ask you how much something costs, how much money you make per year and enquire about your properties and other assets. If you tell them you booked a flight from L.A to Delhi, the first question they will ask is about the flight cost. If you are their friend they will quiz you about your savings. Again, this is not just one person or two but most people in India.<p>Again, the same question, why do most people born in a certain culture all behave in a certain way? It's almost like people are hypnotized en-masse into believing some things as fundamental truths. Pretty surreal to experience it.