<i>"We don't even know what it is," Valencia said of some men she has encountered around the city. "Is it gay? Is it straight? Is it a friend? Is it a foe? Is it looking for a job? Is it looking for a place to crash?"</i><p>Maybe stop referring to guys as "its"? I'd certainly find that disturbing in a man talking about women.<p>Personally, I'm amused at the assumptions. Men who can't find a partner are somewhat pathetic, but if women can't find a partner of sufficient quality, something's just wrong with the <i>city</i>.
I find it interesting that the women never discuss the high concentration of single men nearby -- yet outside of -- San Francisco, on the Peninsula and South Bay. Why is that?<p>Back in the early 00's when I lived on the Peninsula and went up to S.F. to try to meet women, I had no luck. They lost all interest after I would admit to living in Mountain View. Many of my friends from the south bay found the same attitude. So, I don't think it was just me.
> <i>"There's no pressure to grow up here," she says. "The way I act now is pretty much the same way I acted when I was 24. It's culturally reinforced here. Nobody cares that you're in your late 30s and have roommates."</i><p>Isn't the idea that being 'grown up' means "owning a house in the suburbs" part of what fueled the recent real estate bubble? Shouldn't we disenfranchise ourselves of the notion that you're not a 'grown up' until you have the responsibility of paying a mortgage?
>One possible explanation is that in San Francisco, men who aren't gay, married, or damaged by a previous <i>owner</i> are decidedly cagey when it comes to dating and relationships.<p>Wow...that's over the top. "Owner"? It's not even a quote from an interviewee -- it's directly in the article.
I've been in SF for 3 years. Dating (for a straight, successful, 30 year old normal single male) is nearly impossible. I've done the online thing, striking up conversations at bars, walking my friend's dog through Dolores park, etc. Even did Date & Dash once. I ended up meeting a cute Chinese girl, and we dated for about 2 months. However, it was <i>really</i> obvious that she was looking for a green card ("I want a baby!" in bed one night, and a very uncomfortable dinner with her uncle another night.) I definitely want to get married sooner rather than later and have a family, but 2 months is a <i>little</i> quick.<p>Its basically worse than hit or miss. I've had more "success" giving a cute girl a cigarette at the bus stop. At least that has led to an ongoing friendship, and in another instance having a good accountant. The last woman that I met of any reasonable quality was when I was having a couple of drinks with my gay roommate at a bar in the Castro. She was out with some of her friends, we got to talking, exchanged numbers etc. Went out on a few dates, then she flaked on me with no explanation.<p>Yeah, SF is a f*cked up place to try and meet anyone.
this isn't intended to sound snarky ... but this article seems pretty long, and just by reading the first few paragraphs, i don't see the relevance to HN. could somebody who's read more of it post a summary for why it's HN relevant? i think that might encourage others to actually read it.