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Ask HN: When getting a new job – what to do about a bitter boss

1 pointsby djdelusionalalmost 9 years ago
Short and sweet since I have never done this before. Long story short i&#x27;m getting a better opportunity than where I am currently, but my current employer is kinda bitter about it. The reality is he lives in a bubble of reality he created for himself. I really hate to leave with that kind of situation, but I really don&#x27;t know what I can do about it. Any advice?<p>EDIT: It&#x27;s not to say that he was always bitter. He actually is a great guy and does a lot for his people. He is just in a tough spot, and me (as a key person) leaving is really hard on him... and I&#x27;m certainly seeing the bitter side of it.

3 comments

chrisbennetalmost 9 years ago
<i>&quot;if you have some useful feedback for your old boss at exit interview, give it&quot;</i><p>I&#x27;m not so sure that is good advice. Your soon to be old boss usually is not prepared to receive &quot;useful feedback&quot;. As cathartic as it would feel to tell them that &quot;It would have been nice, even once, to hear you say &#x27;good job&#x27; in the 3 years I was working for you.&quot; it&#x27;s unlikely to produce any positive change for you or him. You had X years of employment to share that feedback if you felt it was important.
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andrewljohnsonalmost 9 years ago
I&#x27;m not sure there is much to do. What do you mean by what can you do, did you have some thoughts about what you think you want to do?<p>As always, when you part way and&#x2F;or do your exit interview, be professional. Say thanks for the opportunity, that you learned a lot, and answer questions honestly and with tact&#x2F;compassion.<p>Standard nice things to say when you leave include a) this place is great, but I&#x27;m passionate about the new opportunity, and want to give it a shot, b) it&#x27;s both a great opportunity to do new interesting work and earn more money, c) thanks for all the fish. Temper any negative things you say greatly - if you have some useful feedback for your old boss at exit interview, give it... but don&#x27;t burn bridges, and don&#x27;t say anything that&#x27;s not actionable. Be concrete with any exit feedback... like &quot;I would have liked to have more code reviews from senior developers&quot; is good, but &quot;the code is spaghetti and I hate working on it&quot; is not great.
greenyodaalmost 9 years ago
I don&#x27;t think there&#x27;s anything you can do here. This isn&#x27;t your problem, it&#x27;s your boss&#x27;s problem - as a manager, he should understand that employee turnover is an inevitable part of work life, and that managers need to be able to cope with it.