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Am I Introverted, or Just Rude?

237 pointsby hvoover 8 years ago

42 comments

snovv_crashover 8 years ago
I know for me, if I don&#x27;t get the alone time I completely disengage from anything social, even if I&#x27;m physically present. I don&#x27;t mind being there, so it isn&#x27;t social anxiety, I just zone out.<p>I&#x27;m also not trying to be rude, it is more like some uncontrollable ADD that makes my attention wander when I&#x27;m in social situations. But get a few early nights and walks alone and I&#x27;m back to normal. When I&#x27;m rested I&#x27;ve been told that I&#x27;m engaging and funny, but when I&#x27;m not people (well, at least extroverts) think I&#x27;m being aloof and, as the author said, rude. But needing to sleep or to use the restroom isn&#x27;t considered rude, so I really feel that my recharge time should be similar. Or maybe I just need a better way of handling it.<p>Are there any introverts out there who have developed coping mechanisms for dealing with people when you&#x27;re already peopled out, and are willing to chime in?
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CuriouslyCover 8 years ago
&quot;When I skip big gatherings of strangers, I’m not just being a little rude to the individual people around me, I’m being uncivil in a larger sense. The more we isolate ourselves from new people, the more isolated and segregated our society is likely to become&quot;<p>What is the objective justification for calling skipping a gathering of strangers rude? Who is to say that a society where people are more apart won&#x27;t turn out better, once people get over the antiquated notion that they MUST be connected or they are somehow defective?<p>&quot;There are many excuses for failing to conduct ourselves with courtesy, for avoiding gatherings and conversations we don’t think we will enjoy, or for just putting on our pajamas and staying home. Too many of them boil down to just that one thing: We care more about ourselves than about the needs of others.<p>That’s not about introversion. It’s just an ordinary version of selfishness.&quot;<p>Perhaps an many introverts are introverted because they had social interactions that were traumatic, and they don&#x27;t trust others to reciprocate if they give? Most of the introverts I&#x27;ve gotten to know are exceedingly kind and loyal once they view you as a legitimate human being.
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icanhackitover 8 years ago
<i>Too many of them boil down to just that one thing: We care more about ourselves than about the needs of others. That’s not about introversion. It’s just an ordinary version of selfishness.</i><p>The whole article was trying desperately to shoehorn the quote above as the ultimate truth, but it neglects important nuances and makes me wonder what the author&#x27;s agenda is. Is the inverse statement true, that extraverts care more about others? That their behaviour is less selfish? Or could it be that both extraverts and introverts can be both selfish and generous, depending ultimately on the individual. That extroversion can be a tool to network with others for no other reason than to gain social mind-share for personal profit, as well as be used to build meaningful relationships depending on how it&#x27;s wielded and the intention of the user? Or that introversion can be an excuse to snub ones peers as well as a tool to focus their efforts on what they find important, including helping others, rather than spreading themselves thin on many (often meaningless) endeavours?<p>The author&#x27;s perspective betrays the unspoken expectations of their culture (as does the name of the publisher). In North Western Europe it&#x27;s not unusual to keep to yourself and avoid small talk. My partner and I can go for hours without talking to each other while sitting in the same room, often next to each other. You don&#x27;t have to discuss every idea or observation that pops into your head. You can let an idea brew in your mind, digest it so that when you do discuss it, you can start at a more sophisticated level rather than babbling half formed thoughts and filling the verbal voids with &quot;...like, you know...&quot;<p>This odd anxiety where if you&#x27;re not doing or saying something, that you can&#x27;t just stare out the window and watch the world pass by - that the proper thing to do is to pick up your phone, call a friend, and perform a post-mortem on the little thoughts buzzing around in your head gives me the fucking shits. Sit down quietly and form a cogent thought for one minute PLEASE. <i>Then</i> you&#x27;ll have something worth talking about.
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eyelidlessnessover 8 years ago
&gt; When I skip big gatherings of strangers, I’m not just being a little rude to the individual people around me, I’m being uncivil in a larger sense.<p>I just can&#x27;t follow this reasoning. People are not entitled to my casual time. I am delighted that there are people in my life who wish I were present more, and it&#x27;s unfortunate for all concerned that I do not always feel inclined to be. But it is not a wrong done, just an unfortunate circumstance.
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_xhokover 8 years ago
Am I on the spectrum, or does this...<p><i>&gt; At first, saying “no” to fund-raisers and coffees brought with it a keen, almost illicit pleasure. What freedom! I started slipping out of meetings and school assemblies at the first possible moment instead of staying to chat. On one delicious occasion, I sat in my car and read a book while my children attended a family-oriented athletic function.</i><p>seem like perfectly reasonable behavior? I couldn&#x27;t care less if someone I knew did this. I had no idea saying no to coffee was rude.<p>Presumably, if you break one of these rules, e.g. by saying no to some big gathering, you&#x27;ll be offending someone. This would seem to suggest that there are people out there industriously keeping track of who fails to show up to gatherings and holding it against them. Really? Here, at the end of a century that saw the perfection of human flight, two world wars, and ongoing efforts to make us a multiplanetary species?<p>If not dragging myself out to spend several hours making small talk is rude, can I just be rude?
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justinatorover 8 years ago
&gt; “Sorry I’m late,” the T-shirt reads. “I didn’t want to be here.”<p><i>I</i> don&#x27;t want to seem rude, but what usually gets me with such cutesy sayings is that it&#x27;s wholly trite and unoriginal, and why would you want that on a t-shirt you wear?<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.google.com&#x2F;search?q=Sorry+I%E2%80%99m+late+I+didn%E2%80%99t+want+to+be+here" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.google.com&#x2F;search?q=Sorry+I%E2%80%99m+late+I+did...</a>.<p>If someone were to show me one of these shirts, and be like, &quot;hey, that&#x27;s you!&quot;, I would kinda feel like... you don&#x27;t really know who I am. You&#x27;re just trying to explain something as complex as an introvert&#x27;s inside life and not doing so well.<p>So, maybe I do feel for the author of the piece.<p>I feel also that (as an introvert), it&#x27;s not that I don&#x27;t want to hang out with my wonderful friends, it&#x27;s just that there&#x27;s something I want to do much, much, more, that just happens to be something I do alone. Tonight, my friends want to go dancing, and I love dancing (and I love my friends), but the weather is nice tomorrow, and riding a bike longer than anyone I know would want to is completely irresistible to me. My hobbies have become so extreme as I&#x27;m the only one that now participates in them. Anyone can go drinking and dancing. It&#x27;s inclusive like that.
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cubanoover 8 years ago
I am currently writing this sitting in a small motel room very close to downtown vegas and am very alone.<p>I am back on heroin. I write this not for shock factor because, frankly, I don&#x27;t give a shit about how anyone feels about it.<p>I write this as a warning to those wise enough to hear, about how being introverted can easily lead to a lonely, fairly miserable life as you grow older.<p>My excuse was always the same as I hear here...I&#x27;m not interested in shallow conversation or discussing things with people whom seem to have almost complete misunderstandings of the basics of things etc etc.<p>I am 51yo, my birthday was last week..2 people texted me happy birthday and I spent the day alone, as none of my local junkie friends bothered to invite me to do anything. Yeah, big surprise I know can you believe it?<p>I spent almost 35 years of my life, starting at age 15, playing in bands and was always surrounded by fellow musicians and all the various bar archetypes.<p>Coding came super easy to me and it allowed me to earn very good money while living a lifestyle that had all the trappings of a happy, extroverted kinda life, and I enjoyed it immensely. I felt (and still do) incredibly blessed by the genetic gods to be born at such a time where society valued my native aptitude...I am sure there were periods where it wouldn&#x27;t have been such a blessing.<p>Looking back, I see how I was drawn to and used drugs and music as tools to overcome my introvertness, and you know what? They worked very well. But, as they say, what happens when the song ends and the dope runs out?<p>But this is my dilemma and where it gets nutso...I wonder just how much we truly control the decisions our brain and subconscious make for us. Looking back, I have serious doubts that <i>even if someone had shown me of picture of my bleak life right now, that I would have somehow been able to make different decisions</i>.<p>Even now, knowing how I should act to prevent this level of isolation, I am unable to do those things consistently enough to make them work and have all but giving up trying.<p>So yeah..introverted, rude, selfish, disconnected for sure. But also, passionate, informed, and sensitive as well.<p>That&#x27;s life I guess.
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11thEarlOfMarover 8 years ago
Every social interaction is a kind of investment. At work it&#x27;s to advance your career or just remain employed. And there are few professions where you really don&#x27;t have to communicate with anyone at all and can still make a living. Even introverts need to gain enough skill (chutzpah?) to communicate with their colleagues.<p>Socially, it&#x27;s another matter entirely. There are obligatory communications that you really can&#x27;t reasonably dodge, like planning family Holidays, or finding a friend to join you to a concert, or calling around to get a decent price on a set of tires.<p>Then there are the real small-talk situations. Standing in line at the coffee shop, sitting with another parent you&#x27;ve never met waiting for your turn at the parent teach conference, the bored bartender while you&#x27;re trying to relax the last evening of a business trip... These opportunities have different payoffs that really depend only to you. If you&#x27;re an extrovert, a conversation with a stranger may be invigorating. And yes, you might learn something valuable, or offer some advice that genuinely helps a stranger. For me, there is simply no payoff. The investment of awkwardness versus the comfort of remaining withdrawn is just not worth it. Once in a while, I might be in a particularly good mood and actually strike up a conversation. But that is a rare moment for me, and I usually end the conversation thinking that the last thing I said for sure came across as weird and they had no clue what I meant... So usually, I want to remain in thought, or distracted by some type of entertainment or doing something that I deem to be productive. Thank God for my iPhone.<p>I&#x27;ll satisfy my obligations to society in other ways.
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TillEover 8 years ago
&quot;The more we isolate ourselves from new people, the more isolated and segregated our society is likely to become.&quot;<p>So this is the only sentence approaching a real argument in the article. And it&#x27;s not entirely unreasonable, but the author goes straight to words like &quot;antisocial&quot;, &quot;rude&quot;, &quot;self-indulgent&quot;, and &quot;selfish&quot; to describe the act of skipping large gatherings.<p>I&#x27;m just not entirely convinced that introverts are likely to cause the downfall of civilization. Even in the pathological cases of truly isolated individuals, they&#x27;re really only harming themselves.
vinceguidryover 8 years ago
I go to a bar. Several times a week. Most of the time, it&#x27;s not very fun. Occasionally, I&#x27;ll hit upon the right combination of mood and inebriation and I&#x27;ll have a great time. I&#x27;m loud, witty, entertaining. Occasionally I&#x27;ll run into somebody who can entertain the kind of deep, one-on-one conversations I need to have.<p>But when I&#x27;m not doing either of those things, which is most of the time I&#x27;m there, I&#x27;m drinking, by myself, at the bar, while everybody else there, most of whom I&#x27;ve known for years, has the kind of group interaction that I simply can&#x27;t be bothered to participate in.<p>I have <i>introverted</i> friends that have no problem participating in the group! But I simply can&#x27;t. It&#x27;s not that I haven&#x27;t tried. It&#x27;s that, even after 6 years of going to that bar, and being friendly with all, some more than others, I&#x27;m still not comfortable with group interaction. My mind wanders, I end up pulling away slightly. After a minute it just seems easier to go back to my spot at the bar.<p>If the conversation is actually interesting to me, then I can participate, at least until it shifts to something I could care less about. I thought about trying to care more, but if I start going against my nature, I get drained and want to go home. If I do that too often I start to wonder why I even go there at all. The way I do it, I&#x27;m <i>comfortable</i>. I can spend several hours there a few times a week.<p>Introversion is real. I work to overcome my limitations, but it seems that any success I find is a result of finding workarounds, not actually fixing the problems, if there is indeed any.<p>My next big push against my introversion will be having small, private dinners at my home with people I care the most for. Perhaps I can get over my group aversion by amping up the comfort level an order of magnitude.
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Tychoover 8 years ago
I find the label &quot;quiet&quot; rather presumptuous. If I don&#x27;t say anything it&#x27;s likely because I think the odds of an interesting conversation are unfavourable. Nothing to do with shyness. Blame yourself for not being interesting, don&#x27;t blame me for being &quot;quiet.&quot;<p>Also, I don&#x27;t need to &quot;recharge&quot; by retreating to solitude, I just find lots of partying, drinking type situations incredible banal and would rather do something else. This is just like getting impatient with any other activity, like watching the shopping channel.<p>Of course usually I don&#x27;t say this to people. That would just be rude.
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WheelsAtLargeover 8 years ago
This article hit a nerve with me. I&#x27;m an introvert. I know that now but for years I wondered why I hated being around people and large gatherings. I figured I was just strange and let myself not attend gatherings and be by myself. I found it easier and more satisfying than having to deal with people.<p>Now, many years later, I understand that I did myself a disservice. I missed many gatherings that I now wished I had attended. I&#x27;m sure I missed many connections that I would have enjoyed.<p>I understand now it&#x27;s ok to be an introvert but it&#x27;s not ok to let it control how you deal with people. Not necessarily because you&#x27;re somehow being less than cordial to people, believe me most people won&#x27;t miss you, but because you miss out on life&#x27;s moments and that is your loss and no one else&#x27;s. Life is too short to miss them and most will not come by again.
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thomasleeover 8 years ago
So, uh, color me selfish. :) Perhaps this isn&#x27;t a constructive comment, but I just don&#x27;t understand these articles that take a long, hard, meandering look at human nature only to arrive at some absolute &quot;truth&quot; like the author&#x27;s some arbiter of what&#x27;s right and wrong in the world. Whatever gets eyeballs, I guess.
MiddleEndianover 8 years ago
As an introvert with a fairly active social life, I disagree with the general premise.<p>I took an &quot;always say &#x27;yes&#x27;&quot; approach for awhile. I accepted pretty much every invite I received. Eventually I found myself going out all the time, weekdays and weekends. At least once a week I&#x27;d have to schedule two or three events in a single day.<p>It was exhausting in two ways.<p>The obvious was that it&#x27;s a pain to schedule so many things, and the nature of social events means you&#x27;ll meet more people which is a positive feedback loop for more events.<p>The other was that my personal growth was being limited. I skipped exercise&#x2F;sports. I was unable to finish, or sometimes even work on, my personal art&#x2F;programming projects.<p>I realized it was a problem, and I no longer feel bad turning down event invites. Whether I am overbooked on events or if I just want to build a clay sculpture, I don&#x27;t consider it to be selfish. Of course I still like to see my friends, and I still meet new people, but it&#x27;s definitely not the only part of being a human.
nostrademonsover 8 years ago
&quot;In a contest between my manners and my preferences, am I allowing my preferences to win?&quot;<p>There&#x27;s nothing wrong with that, as long as you don&#x27;t mind the consequences that follow.
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hibikirover 8 years ago
I find the article to be a gross oversimplification: It&#x27;s very hard to put oneself in other person&#x27;s shoes. The same external behavior might be caused by very different internal mechanism.<p>I have met people that are labeled as introverted that are just what he describes: One on one conversations about their behavior, with people they trust, show that they really dislike most people, and will never feel at ease in any group. They are selfish people that don&#x27;t care about others at all. But there&#x27;s more to it. For instance, my son avoids parties because he gets sensory overloaded very quickly: He&#x27;ll hide in a corner, covering his ears. Is he selfish? I don&#x27;t think so. We are doing our best to help him handle such situations, but it&#x27;ll probably be a struggle for him most of his life.<p>I also think of my own case: I am a bit of a recluse, but it has nothing to do with not caring about people: I am just painfully aware of the terrible first impression I give, regardless of what I try. It&#x27;s been described as me seeming a bit &#x27;off&#x27; in some fashion, as my non-verbals apparently say terrible things that have nothing to do with what I mean. At the same time, I get to see all that rejection as it happens, making the whole thing exhausting. I do it when I have to, but it&#x27;s unfun, because it feels absolutely hopeless. It&#x27;s far easier for me to fix it in smaller gatherings, where I get enough time to override that awful first impression.<p>On the other side of the coin, I know people that are love large gatherings and social situations because they crave novelty. One example that I got to know pretty well happens to be awesome at fleeting connections: She&#x27;ll leave a party and half the room thinks they got a great connection, which makes her be seen as a wonderful person in many social circles. But what happens when you look deeper? She is a novelty addict. Travels away from home a lot just to feed this. Her marriage is in shambles, because, of course, she got tired of her husband. Her daughters wonder why she is on the road so much. Friends last her about a year, by the time they are either discarded, or they have run away from the selfishness: People are like chewing gum for her.<p>Sp when it comes to selfishness, introversion and extroversion, it seems to me that the situation is far more complicated than the article makes it seem, and we should all do our best to take a while before we judge people, as first impressions aren&#x27;t necessarily correct.
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Coincoinover 8 years ago
I learned a lesson watching &quot;What not to wear.&quot; A fashion show about people dressing so badly it would hinder their career.<p>The &quot;contestant&quot; reason was always that no matter what they would be wearing people should judge them from &quot;what&#x27;s inside.&quot;<p>Well, though luck, people don&#x27;t do that. They judge you by what you wear, how you stand, how you talk and there is nothing you can do about it.<p>Sure you can continue pretending you have bad manner because you&#x27;re introvert, but don&#x27;t expect the rest of the world to understand and adapt to your peculiarity.<p>That&#x27;s when I stopped blaming the rest of the world for how it worked, improved my social skills and moved on with my life.
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marmot777over 8 years ago
I can completely relate to the T-shirt mentioned in the first paragraph: “Sorry I’m late,” the T-shirt reads. “I didn’t want to be here.”<p>The thing is that I end up really glad I went about 90% of the time. So I&#x27;m not sure I qualify as an introvert or if I&#x27;m just a chicken shit extrovert. Either way, it&#x27;s a big struggle. I do enjoy alone time a lot, though.
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unabstover 8 years ago
This piece is actually about excuses more than anything else.<p>&gt; “Have you ever missed a plane?” she asked. I had not. “Then you can help it. You just care more about yourself than about the needs of others.”<p>Typical. Feelings always come first, and we make excuses to justify our otherwise unjustifiable actions of irresponsibility.<p>But we also confuse what the most responsible thing to do actually is. We assume it is to be on time. But that&#x27;s what other&#x27;s expect of us. That&#x27;s being responsible in their eyes. Abiding by these expectations is done because we fear rejection and accusation and failure. This is not being truly responsible. This is being a coward.<p>The correct responsible response is to simply state you don&#x27;t want to be there, and not go. State your feelings, because that&#x27;s who you are. And say so in a polite and graceful manner. Or don&#x27;t. Just be honest, and spend your time better. That&#x27;s being responsible.<p>The only thing excuses do is sustain your incompetence and cowardice. If you need an excuse you always have one. There are millions of reasons why anything is not your fault. But that isn&#x27;t the issue.<p>The moment you reject excuses all together is the moment you lose the life vest that has prevented you from swimming. You need to face the water, not reason with it. You need to actually swim and decide to go somewhere, not float around in a flotation device made of excuses and let yourself be bounced around by circumstances.
wallflowerover 8 years ago
Just the title of this article is painting a broad picture. Why is it always a binary choice to be introverted or extroverted? Or introverted or just rude?<p>One thing I have noticed in tech in the past 10 years is that there are more and more people drawn into it who are more extroverted than introverted. This may partially be explained by the increasing appeal of being a geek in today&#x27;s popular culture&#x2F;zeitgeist. Being a geek decades ago was not cool. Now, it is almost sort of accepted to be a geek, to the point where some people will try to seem geekier than they really are. Honestly, I don&#x27;t give a damn about &quot;Doctor Who&quot;.<p>For me, if you really want to &quot;control the conversation&quot; like another commenter said, you don&#x27;t have to do that. Just take the lead. It is not about being an introvert or extrovert. Be someone who invites people out to do something or asks people if they want to be introduced (and then introduces them - yes, it is not so binary as this can&#x27;t be an e-introduction v. personal face-to-face introduction). Be more active, less passive.<p>As I&#x27;ve ranted before, introverts are not always introverts. As Susan Cain talks about in her somewhat-too-popular book called &quot;Introverts&quot;, the brilliant Professor Lewin (before he was rightly discredited and tarnished by his sexual harassment problems) proclaimed himself a performer and an introvert. There is no black or white. Everyone has fifty shades of extroversion and introversion in them.<p>Stop this divide and conquer. Just be yourself. If you don&#x27;t feel like going outside for three days, just do it. If you feel like social interaction is binge liking your entire facebook feed, go for it.<p>If to you, you feel it is a net loss to go out to certain social outings, then you have a choice. It can be a net loss, if you are stuck in your head the entire time and thinking &#x27;what do they think about me, what do they think about me&#x27; the entire time like a skipping CD. It is all in your head. We all make stories about the world to provide &#x27;evidence&#x27; that the world is like X. However, it seems to be, through talking with my extrovert friends, that they don&#x27;t even have that beat poetry selfish mantra in their head - they just talk to people and find out what that other person is like. Talk to that cute girl or cute guy or &#x27;they&#x27;.
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leraxover 8 years ago
Yes, after that reading I really confirmed (again) about I be introverted. Because I just don&#x27;t care about myself, so the other possibility would be a contradiction if be True.<p>And yes... Sometimes the introversion of some people is just about a sick selfishness behavior. Why thinking you feelings is better and superior to others? Why criticism about the bad English of some ones instead try its meaning? Know a language, like Mathematics or Greek is just about opportunities, is not about be smart.<p>Actually, what you are trying really say each selfishly content whose are you writing in the internet? Why are we trying so hard to just confirm our existing hurting the others? Where is the fun about that? I just don&#x27;t understand it. :(<p>This really makes me sad. Thinking about why some people just don&#x27;t thinks the reason of your &quot;random&quot; feelings and the horrible reasons to hurt the lifestyle of others to justify your own dementia.
idlewordsover 8 years ago
Real party atmosphere in this thread. We should all get together!
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paulpauperover 8 years ago
<i>In a probably inevitable extension of nerd culture, the Dale Carnegie image of gregarious success was shattered by stories of powerful, successful people sitting quietly in meetings and substituting controlled online interactions for draining real world encounters.</i><p>This part stuck out . Outside of social situations, economically speaking it seems like the introverts are in control of most of society. It is a good trade-off between making a lot of money and being successful as measured by prestige, vs. being extroverted and less successful? I think so.
tluyben2over 8 years ago
(Could not RTFA: nytimes blocked here)<p>I (41&#x2F;m) used to think I was introvert but now a think I have a bad case of attention deficit syndrome: I always need to do multiple things or I zone out. I am a steaming social animal: I go to parties, business meetings, friday drinks but a few minutes in I need to get my phone and do work. I just cannot help myself: when someone is talking to me I hear everything they say, I respond and have intelligent discourse but during that I am also talking with 5 people on Wechat, thinking up fixes for sites&#x2F;apps and adding notes in Teamwork. Some people find it rude but when you know me you know it is not so. It was very good for me to work in China for a bit: here everyone sits typing in their phone while talking. And it is, even in meetings with very large companies, normal to pick up your phone and look something up you are not sure about. That is how it is supposed to be: go to a meeting with a bank in London and you have to know every fact by heart because people will pause and look at you when you pick up your phone... What madness is that: either I say I do not know or am not sure and delay matters we are discussing to a follow up or I pick my phone up and Google it?
flanbiscuitover 8 years ago
It&#x27;s interesting, people see me as very extroverted and I can be but what they don&#x27;t see is just how much I also like my alone time and the older I get the more I can let myself be introverted and be fine with it. I think social media gives me a fake sense of being connected to people and so staying home becomes easier because I can still be &quot;social&quot;.
GarrisonPrimeover 8 years ago
People overestimate themselves. Maybe I&#x27;m not introverted, nor rude. Maybe you&#x27;re just boring, annoying, or rude yourself.
soufronover 8 years ago
I am fascinated as how people are sharing &quot;strategies&quot; here... like &quot;how to cope with people&quot; or considering that social interactions are &quot;transactions&quot; and &quot;investment&quot;.<p>A little empathy anyone? Like being genuinely interested in the people around you? Like having fun by listening to new stuff...<p>I see a lot of depressed people around there :(
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jpetermanover 8 years ago
I knew I had come across this idea before:<p><a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.theonion.com&#x2F;article&#x2F;seemingly-shy-woman-really-just-stuck-up-friends-s-3399" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.theonion.com&#x2F;article&#x2F;seemingly-shy-woman-really-j...</a>
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aashishkoiralaover 8 years ago
I for one would love to have that T-shirt mentioned in the beginning of the article.
dodygover 8 years ago
I am an introvert but I am aware of the importance of building friendships.<p>So I took up on cooking and invite people to dinners at my house (the largest was 45 people). People are more relaxed in a home cooked dinner and they tend to like you.
peter303over 8 years ago
I have had several people accuse me of being Aspergers because I am not the back-slapping, party animal type. Lets leave the medical issue for those who have difficulty functioning in society and not for us introverts.
icedchaiover 8 years ago
I get pretty frustrated if I don&#x27;t have enough alone time. It&#x27;s driven me away from almost every relationship I&#x27;ve had. That statement doesn&#x27;t bother me as much as it should.
vitroover 8 years ago
There is too much &quot;I&quot;, that may be the problem.
chadcmulliganover 8 years ago
some people like being with random people more or less than others. Some like being with people they know and don&#x27;t like meeting new people as much. If it affects your life then probably time to learn some new skills, if not then probably just leave things alone. This idea that there is some exactly right amount of number of people everyone should like hanging around is...strange.
mhurronover 8 years ago
Can&#x27;t I be both? I am an introvert (personality type) but I am frequently rude to people I do not give much of a shit about (choice).
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tamanaover 8 years ago
Warning: If you read this title aloud to your spouse, you might get an answer.
atemerevover 8 years ago
Missed a plane. Four times. Two of them in the row. ADD sucks.
Qantouriscover 8 years ago
It&#x27;s rude to expect people to act a certain way as well.
mukeshsoniover 8 years ago
Alternate title for another post -<p>Am I rude, or just introvert?
smcameronover 8 years ago
Why not both?
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Kenjiover 8 years ago
Your time is valuable. Never spend it with people who bring less value into your life than you would have got if you spent this time alone. Never ever (exception: if you are responsible for someone, like a child or elderly person). It&#x27;s that simple. The hard part is estimating how much value somone&#x2F;going out brings into your life.<p>Either way, you can call that rude and selfish, I call it a wise way to spend my limited resources.
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javajoshover 8 years ago
I suggest you quit drugs and marry a nice girl. Maybe get into NA or something for the drugs.
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