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Having a ‘work spouse’ makes you happier?

45 pointsby FuNeover 8 years ago

20 comments

gcatalfamoover 8 years ago
No, wait, seriously. What about the real wives asking &quot;so who&#x27;s this Tammy that keeps messaging you?&quot;<p>&quot;Oh, it&#x27;s just my work-wife, Sharon. We have been laughing all day at work when our boss spilled his coffee.&quot;<p>Yes. That is gonna work for sure.
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adaml_623over 8 years ago
&quot;Conventional wisdom holds that colleagues shouldn’t get too close, but the changing nature of the workplace is throwing traditional human resources manuals out the window.&quot;<p>I hate it when people just make up stuff. &quot;They say that cucumbers were once used as weapons&quot;.
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emilsomanover 8 years ago
Is it okay for a female to find a work spouse in another female? Is it okay to have multiple work wives? I am a guy and there are guys at office who I trust, have the same sense of humor etc. Am I work-gay? I don&#x27;t get this.
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dspillettover 8 years ago
Conversely a couple of years ago I made a conscious effort to significantly separate my work and personal lives, and I feel a lot better for it.<p>I&#x27;m still friendly with people in office hours and join for company socials, but no one here connects to me on &quot;social media&quot; and there are a very select few who or socialise with more generally. Yes, I sometimes miss out on a few things, but I think I&#x27;ve gained far more in terms of being able to shut off when I go home if nothing else.<p>Perhaps it makes me less loyal, but before that time my loyalty was somewhat abused so I don&#x27;t feel at all bad about that, and I still do the &quot;above and beyond&quot; thing when genuinely needed, more so than others I could mention, particularly under the new regime who I currently trust more than the last lot to give a fig about my needs.
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dmichulkeover 8 years ago
Probably this article would have not been posted here (and the underlying survey funded) if they were using the word &quot;good colleague&quot;.<p>Using &quot;spouse&quot; instead suggests a sexual dimension that just isn&#x27;t there.<p>Even the original survey result quoted is about a work colleague: <i>Special, platonic friendship with a work colleague characterised by ...</i><p>So, the title is IMO clickbait.
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elcapitanover 8 years ago
Oh that&#x27;s going to make work life really wonderful for everybody.<p><a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;assets.amuniversal.com&#x2F;66b0ae4066380134c959005056a9545d" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;assets.amuniversal.com&#x2F;66b0ae4066380134c959005056a954...</a>
JoeyBagadonutsover 8 years ago
In the Navy, we refer to these partners as &quot;boat boos&quot;. There are varying levels of intimacy, but many are just close friends who aren&#x27;t so close anymore when the ship returns to home port and everyone goes back to their real lives&#x2F;wives.<p>This can apply to single people who have work as their connection, look forward to seeing each other during the work day, but then leave it all at the office when they go home.
glandiumover 8 years ago
Oh my, when I read about it in Dilbert a few weeks ago, I thought it was made up and funny. Is that really a thing?
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bshimminover 8 years ago
<i>Only two people in McBride and Bergen’s survey reported having romantic feelings or flirting with their work spouse.</i><p>Or perhaps: s&#x2F;reported&#x2F;admitted&#x2F;<p>I honestly have no idea what this article is trying to say. I&#x27;ve had male and female friends at workplaces, and those friendships have sometimes (not always, but sometimes) continued when we stopped working together. The word &quot;spouse&quot; never came into it, but the word &quot;friend&quot; (rather than &quot;colleague&quot;) certainly did, you know, after a bit.
1123581321over 8 years ago
We use the terms &quot;work brother&quot; and &quot;work sister&quot; to describe this on my team. It allows us to acknowledge close relationships without any negative connotations.
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SCdFover 8 years ago
Or &quot;friends&quot;, as they once used to be called.
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e40over 8 years ago
I find the terminology off putting. Isn&#x27;t it really just someone that you bond with at work, beyond the normal day-to-day work stuff?
jackskellover 8 years ago
Words mean things. Trying to be PC or &quot;clever&quot; to try to advance an agenda is disingenuous.<p>If I had a work spouse, does that mean I get alimony when we move on? If we&#x27;re emotionally close enough to be considered &quot;spouses&quot; do we get special company policies designed to give us special privileges? If we split do we get a &quot;work-divorce&quot; and fight over our &quot;child&quot; projects&quot;? If I have more than one &quot;work spouse&quot; at a time does that make make me a &quot;work polygamist&quot; subject to sanction by HR?<p>Let&#x27;s not lose the language, people.
scarface74over 8 years ago
My general rule is no appearance of impropriety now that I&#x27;m married. That means I will usually not go to lunch alone with a female coworker we always go in groups. I don&#x27;t talk about my personal life outside of pleasantries, only social network connection I will have is on linkedIn. Even if physical infidelity is avoided, it&#x27;s too easy to get involved in an emotional affair with someone you spend one third of your waking weekday hours with and since you are in the same industry, by definition you have a lot of the same interest.<p>Unless it&#x27;s urgent. No direct messages on Slack after work hours.
alexgotoiover 8 years ago
Sometimes the spouse turns into husband&#x2F;wife. Risky business
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lawryover 8 years ago
The same goes with sports, school-projects, startups. Having a &quot;partner&quot; (as I like to call it) motivates you a lot, and really brings the best in you out. Also having a common goal is huge, which is something you might not always have in love relationship.<p>I&#x27;ve also found it can bring you down if the partnership does not work out, and you&#x27;re left alone.
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ainiriandover 8 years ago
Oh god... Postmodernism at its best. Also, why is the title of the HN entry dashed?
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facepalmover 8 years ago
So that is why everybody wants more women in tech. They are nice and beneficial to spouse with.
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torrent-of-ionsover 8 years ago
Erm.. yeah, sure it does, until the affair come to light and messes everything up.<p>I can&#x27;t seem to find the source data for this. Is it published?
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SixSigmaover 8 years ago
Watch<p>Episodes of 3&#x27;s A Crowd, see how that works out<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;results?search_query=3%27s+a+crowd+gameshow" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;results?search_query=3%27s+a+crowd+g...</a>