I recently had a baby, and the self-realization that I am a jerk became very clear when I thought about the world. Let me explain:<p>From a young age, growing up in Queens, I quickly learned the value of being a jerk/asshole as a deterrent for getting "jumped" for my jacket/sneakers. The idea was: kids mugging other kids would go for easy targets. Even an inkling of belief that someone would put up a fight was a disincentive enough to avoid getting "jumped." Now, this wasn't always the case, but the converse (if easy target, then got jumped) was definitely prevalent.<p>Fast forward to adult age, and it's even more true- give an inch, and people will take a mile. As cynical as it sounds, I've been in many instances where my asshole-ness proved to be beneficial. For example, when someone tried to cut me in line at the grocery store, I let it go. When that same person was at the dog park with me later that night, and he became aggressive with MY dog, I lost my cool, which was mostly fueled by the prior transgression on his part. The guy apologized and to this day, this person has been saccharin to my wife at the dog park when I'm not there, but completely avoids me when I am.<p>Now, I know there's a fine line between being a jerk and assertive, but I think the line has been muddled over the years as our social norms have evolved to "always be kind- if not, you'll be seen as a jerk." I acknowledge that I am an insecure person, while at the same time, an egotistical person, but being a jerk has protected me from being taken advantage of.<p>Today, I wonder, how would I feel if my son turned out this way? How do I want the world to treat my son, and vice-versa? I then realize that if the world were filled with people like me, the world would be a terrible place. But, from a game theory perspective, I'm employing my best strategy.