I was expecting a list of explanations. Something that will explain to me the fundamental principles that lead adults to behave the way they do in the real world. Like why they have to look so serious when you make eye contact in a coffee shop... etc.<p>Instead I was delivered a list of idealistic commandments prescribing behavior that does not really occur that often out in the field. Which is ironically something an adult would do.
I try to find out why he made this list, and here is what I found on the google.<p><a href="https://www.mail-archive.com/silklist@lists.hserus.net/msg08034.html" rel="nofollow">https://www.mail-archive.com/silklist@lists.hserus.net/msg08...</a><p>> ... In any event, it occurred to me that, past 30, I could no longer defend my peccadillos on basis of youth. I would have to acquire some minimal sense of responsibility. While I didn't want to be a grown-up, I wanted at least to act like one in the less toxic and stultifying sense of the term.<p>> So, I sat down around 2 am on October 3, 1977 and I drew up this list of behavioral goals that I hoped might assist in this process. ...
Quite a few seem to be based on Stoicism.<p>Incidentally, I was watching last night Tim Minchin (an Australian comedian)'s address[1] when receiving his honorary doctorate, and there is a fair bit of overlap<p>1: <a href="http://www.timminchin.com/2013/09/25/occasional-address/" rel="nofollow">http://www.timminchin.com/2013/09/25/occasional-address/</a>
Some of these things are pretty good things to be mindful about in adult life, most of them in fact.<p>However, applying them all would make you the worlds biggest doormat.
What does the phrase "blood sport" mean here?
Giving up literal blood sports seems so obvious as to not be worth mentioning, but metaphorical ones so vague that there's probably a better way to phrase it.
JPB has died. See <a href="https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/02/john-perry-barlow-internet-pioneer-1947-2018" rel="nofollow">https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/02/john-perry-barlow-inte...</a> and comments/discussion there. JPB's Principles of Adult Behavior are worthy goals for life.
I appreciate these and I'm not trying to rain on a parade. But aren't these all completely obvious? The challenge I'm spending my life on is figuring out <i>how</i> to achieve these consistently.
This is a pretty good list of principles that one could use as a foundation for system of beliefs. However, I believe that one should learn about the situations in which these principles apply and don't. IMO, that is what adults are good at. That is what one should thrive to learn.<p>An example to consider: when thinking about rule 1, it doesn't make any sense to wait patiently in a line when others are cutting in. One has to stand up for himself/herself and say something.
All of these seem sensible except "Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that."<p>"Your mission" is simply a placeholder for what you believe will make you happy. It's very subject to change. I'd argue that a healthy respect for what makes you happy can help you avoid a mission that you'll later regret.
OK, I see why people like this list. But I would definitely argue with several of the principles presented.<p>Here are some examples.<p><i>Be patient. No matter what.</i>
There are times when presenting impatience is the right way to get results. They are usually overused, but deadlines do have a proper place in your motivational toolbox.<p><i>Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.</i>
Never? And what if the other is lying, cheating and stealing? I fully agree with "do not lightly assume", but "never" is the wrong standard.<p><i>Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.)</i>
If a person is using force to attempt to steal from me, or harm those I care about, it is fine for me to lie to them in self-defense. Again, "never" is the wrong standard.<p><i>Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.</i>
I find that people are much more likely to accept and act on criticism if I tell a story about myself which parallels the problem that I see. (Sadly "much more" does not mean "very".) This is a concrete example of how my increasing my use of "the first personal pronoun" was a good thing, not a bad one.<p><i>Remember that love forgives everything.</i>
Only if you define forgiveness in the right way. If someone steals from me, and I have a loving understanding of them, then I can forgive them their past action. But I still probably shouldn't put myself in a position where they can steal from me in the future.<p><i>Endure.</i>
I did that with my ex for a quarter century. I learned that some things SHOULD NOT be endured. My life is much better now.