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No, there is no epidemic of loneliness

66 pointsby simulatealmost 7 years ago

13 comments

Nomentatusalmost 7 years ago
1) I&#x27;m going to guess that what my grandparents meant by &quot;lonely&quot; isn&#x27;t quite what my generation or yours, means. I think we use this as a relative term - &quot;less connected than other people&quot; to at least some extent. So that might skew longitudinal statistics. If you only had two friends to talk to (almost every day) in the village back then, you were lonely, and probably being ostracized to boot.<p>2) To a significant extent, it&#x27;s possible to translate &quot;I&#x27;m lonely&quot; into &quot;I&#x27;m too disgusted with the ethics, crudity, vile political opinions, manners, dress, accents, musical tastes, spiritual nonsense, etc of the people I meet these days to go out of my way to meet them again, thanks.&quot; This may be a downside to diversity (for those too-easily put off), or a reflection of the fact that we&#x27;re all social climbers, who are too optimistic about our &quot;social value&quot; in the eyes of all the other social climbers, I don&#x27;t know.<p>After all, almost all of us have solutions to loneliness handy if we aren&#x27;t at all picky about our company. And back in the day, you couldn&#x27;t be - your village was your world.<p>A hidden factor, IMHO, is the rapidity of cultural change. Last long enough (age 28 in my case) and you are necessarily a time-traveller, in a foreign culture to a large extent, and it hurts mightily to know that your tribe has moved on; but it has (unless you joined an uber-traditional church or cult as a youth.) If you opt to deny this, as many do, your world is gonna shrink and keep shrinking from that point on. You&#x27;re gonna miss a lot of fun, too.<p>PS - volunteer.<p>PPS - I&#x27;m not 28, that&#x27;s just how old I was when I realized I wasn&#x27;t part of &quot;the younger generation&quot; anymore, and had to decide fast whether my generations&#x27; taste in everything was going to be forever supreme in my head, or to start making an effort to see what the real kids were up to, and whether I might like any of that, too. I chose the latter and bless that day.
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maxxxxxalmost 7 years ago
I think it&#x27;s pretty safe to ignore anything David Brooks is writing. He has a long track record of describing bogus societal trends.
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vinceguidryalmost 7 years ago
The day I realized that just because people are talking about it, doesn&#x27;t mean anything&#x27;s meaningfully changed, is the day I learned how to discern signal from noise in society&#x27;s whingings.
nooberminalmost 7 years ago
There&#x27;s an extreme bit of ranting about Brooks here (not a fan at all but it&#x27;s a bit much.) A better source is the blogpost he quotes[0]. Unless the topic is Brooks specifically.<p>[0] <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;justthesocialfacts.blogspot.com&#x2F;2018&#x2F;04&#x2F;all-lonely-people.html" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;justthesocialfacts.blogspot.com&#x2F;2018&#x2F;04&#x2F;all-lonely-pe...</a>
leg100almost 7 years ago
How can he say, as the title of his blog goes, &quot;there is no epidemic of loneliness&quot;?<p>I can see how he has a case for questioning the statistical basis of someone who is arguing there <i>is</i> an epidemic.<p>But how does that <i>disprove</i> any such epidemic exists?
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ravitationalmost 7 years ago
I feel like this warrants a longer, better supported post, but it seems like the meaning of &quot;lonely&quot; is extremely (overly) relative. Since a lot of studies hinge on self-reporting loneliness this has a huge impact on the data available to diagnose long term trends.<p>Two important things that get conflated into &quot;loneliness&quot; is social isolation (the quality&#x2F;depth of social relationships) and &quot;loneliness&quot; (the quantity of social relationships).
enigma31401almost 7 years ago
The blog post was crappy and seems the bulk of the context was shitting on the shitty journalist, rather than debunking thoroughly and straight-forwardly the claim at hand. I find the claim on loniness as more aparent on a global scale and demogralhically varying than in one single nation and a single demograph, so the post seems not only obnoxious but narrow too.
badrabbitalmost 7 years ago
I don&#x27;t know if it&#x27;s an epidemic but I don&#x27;t need an article to tell me the obvious -- that there are a lot of lonely people and loneliness causes problems of the mind which at times translates to problems of the body.<p>I wonder how many more people would hit the gym or outdoors if they had a companion?
_bxg1almost 7 years ago
I couldn&#x27;t even get to the main content, there was too much vitriol to wade through first. I&#x27;d never even heard of David Brooks and don&#x27;t have an opinion on him, but I can&#x27;t take seriously the opinion of anybody who&#x27;s this wrapped up in his own bitterness.
chokmaalmost 7 years ago
I can recommend Lars Svendsen, A Philosophy of Loneliness, in which he examines loneliness and its positive companion, solitude, in detail.<p>Not a self-help book, but a view on loneliness from both an empirical and philosophical perspective.
mar77ialmost 7 years ago
Be careful about that Brooks guy, he might qualify for the White House, the way things are going these days.
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martin1975almost 7 years ago
Mandela, though he was in solitary confinement for much of the 27 years he spent in jail, came out of it spiritually and mentally unscathed. And we have a suicide epidemic, if you&#x27;ll believe the press, of people who were never in jail, and were surrounded by people whom probably could have helped the person.... provided he or she asked for help rather than deciding they were lonely or alone.<p>I&#x27;m not saying loneliness isn&#x27;t real... all I&#x27;m saying is, it is a choice that needs to be recognized as such, even if we keep choosing it over and over and can do no other sometimes.<p>So if you feel lonely, unless you&#x27;re in solitary, please at least TELL SOMEONE how you feel... if nothing else. Tell me, I&#x27;ll listen.
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dmschulmanalmost 7 years ago
<i>Fischer summarizes:</i><p><i>A layperson might ask, What difference—besides diss’ing social scientists—does it make if these interesting articles about loneliness growing are off a bit? First, they are off a lot. But more important, they are a critical distraction. Chatter about feelings (of mainly affluent folks) distracts us from the many real crises of our time—say, widened inequality, children growing up in criminally and chemically dangerous neighborhoods, the dissolution of job security for middle Americans, drug addiction, housing shortages (where the jobs are), a medical system mess, hyper-partisanship, and so on. That’s what makes the loneliness scare not just annoying but also another drag on serious problem-solving.</i><p>Ahh the cruelty of science. I would agree that the claim Brooks, an op-ed writer, made is overblown and sensationalized a bit in order to get readers interested, but that doesn&#x27;t make those who are indeed lonely, and those who the NY Times article focuses on, any less lonely or visible.<p>It seems like the post&#x27;s author is dismissing that there are lonely people out there because Brooks wrote something that overstates their numbers. As any social scientist would tell you, even the best numbers we have on these phenomena are problematic and incomplete.
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