I wrote a book advising parents how to give kids a life of independent neighborhood play. Check out Playborhood - <a href="http://playborhood.com" rel="nofollow">http://playborhood.com</a><p>In a nutshell, I contend that this is a <i>social</i> problem of neighborhood culture, and parents should work to make their neighborhoods as fun and inviting as video games and the Internet. Simply cutting off electronics and shoving them out the door won't do it because there's no one out there - neighborhoods are <i>very</i> boring. Somehow, we need to create a culture of play, first with parents, and later without, in our neighborhoods. The book Playborhood is all about that.
It is an issue no doubt because parents just honestly don't have the confidence to let their kids go.<p>They are paranoid not just about kidnappers or child molesters, but they are worried about not preparing their kids for school and "getting ahead", thus the over planned childhoods.<p>I really wish parents would just let go a little.<p>1) Read to your kids at night. Do it as old as they want you to do it.<p>2) Give them unstructured play time with friends consistently. After age 9 or so, they really can go off on their own without parents around.<p>3) Younger kids should experience a variety of things well through middle school. The more things they do, the better. Sure, they should get good grades (A's and B's), but obsessing over all A's in middle school isn't worth it.<p>4) High school is when structure starts to be more important IF they want to get into a competitive school. And forcing a high school kid to get a perfect score on his SAT is a recipe for disaster. It should be the kids choice.<p>Way too many parents are obsessed about making sure their son or daughter get into THE college they want. It's more about the parent than the student.<p>I wish I could tell more parents to let fucking go. Teenagers go to war, they start businesses, they do all sorts of grown up things.<p>Keep them away from drugs and help them find a passion. That's about it.
After wandering around in Germany, coming home late etc my kid was shocked when we put him in a US school 6 year ago (i.e. post smartphone). It wasn't just the unstructured time, but the range of things kids are allowed to do. Amusingly/sadly he said things like "people here haven't heard of freedom".<p>We had neighbors with a kid precisely the same age as him, but the kids were never around, instead being driven from place to place.<p>(BTW it's pretty common to complain about the quality of US education too but in this case it was actually OK, especially when compared to the notorious Berlin schools, and he decided on a US undergraduate education which I think was a good decision.)
This is largely an American problem. When I lived in Europe I didn't see people being "fearful" about letting their children roam the streets. During my recent trips to Japan, I also felt that same vibe. Children under the age of 10 taking the trains by themselves or with friends, even in Tokyo.<p>American isolationism creates fearfulness.
All these stories on raising children confuse the issue and keep parents in paralysis.<p>If you want to take the pressure off - tell parents their kids won't be left out like millennials are. Give them a safety net. Let parents know their kids will have a pretty good life. On the other hand, if they know their kids will be in a dog-eat-dog world where even hard work gets you nowhere - they're going to raise their kids with a zero-sum game theory.
Why does it seem that everyone who writes articles like these seemed to have a national forest in their back yard as a kid?<p>Most kids don't have "an expansive wilderness" to explore. Most of them have miles and miles of residential streets to "explore" in Baltimore.
I wonder how much of this is really the "good old days" effect. I recall reading about research fairly recently that suggests we forget the bad things first, and that is why there's nostalgia for the "good old days".<p>I mean it is true that kids go outside a lot less these days, especially American kids. We're immigrants, and we often go to a nearby lake in the summer. Easily 80% of families there are Latino and Russian. I wonder where native-born American parents take their kids, if anywhere.<p>But I also wonder whether it's such a big deal. From what I can _factually_ remember from my own childhood, my "time outside" was rather haphazard and I got into all sorts of trouble (including starting smoking at the tender young age of 8 - this lasted for a few weeks until my parents found out). I very much doubt this was significantly better for me than staying at home.
I was a very free range kid.<p>In grades 3-6 I remember spending hours meandering around Seattle's Beacon Hill area on my way home after school. It was great fun exploring under freeways, urban forests, abandoned buildings, etc., by myself or with a friend or two.<p>Today these areas are mostly unauthorized homeless camps filled with garbage, human waste, and used needles.<p>When I was older (middle school) I recall about half-dozen times creeps in cars drove up to me and asked me to come party with them or do some swimsuit modelling. Gross.<p>My kids grew up in different world than I did. Thus they had a much different childhood. I can't imagine letting my two girls roam around like I did.<p>edit: typo(s) and word order ffs.
> Today, however, if I were to learn that my young kids had left the house in the early morning by themselves to rock climb, explore the forest and encounter heaven-knows-what out in the woods, I’d probably start hyperventilating.<p>Why? WHY? I don't understand this sentiment at all. What is the matter with people these days? Parents are suffocating their kids because they can't get over <i>their own paranoia</i>.<p>As another commenter wrote: parents, just <i>let fucking go</i>.
While I agree that kids could stand to get out more, I think everyone here is painting an absurdly rosy picture of the past. I'd like to know what percentage of kids used to spend their time doing hard labor or if their latchkey existence left them feeling so uncared about that they turned into nihilist assholes. Don't get me wrong – in a perfect world, kids would play outside 8 hours a day, but I have a hard time getting past the selection bias presented in the video.
This is part of the basis for a recent book by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt.
Here's the article that later became the book by the same title:
<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/" rel="nofollow">https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-cod...</a><p>Also a relevant article by Lenore Skenazy & Jonathan Haidt with a similar thesis:
<a href="https://reason.com/archives/2017/10/26/the-fragile-generation" rel="nofollow">https://reason.com/archives/2017/10/26/the-fragile-generatio...</a>
I love how all the suggestions are right in the "helicopter parent" wheelhouse. No "kick them outside and tell them you don't care what they do, just be home for supper."
People are afraid to let their kids play outside, and even if they did, there is no one out there to play with because all the other kids are in the house in front of a screen.
As an aside, I think it’s interesting that we prioritize play time for children (or want to) but seem to think little of play time for adults. I think play should be a lifetime avocation, but where I grew up in California this isn’t much of a focus for adults.
I watched a lot of TV when I was aged 10-13. Then I discovered the internet and spent a lot of time on that. I'm 28 now and life seems to have worked out. I wouldn't say I'm maladjusted.<p>I also did outdoorsy stuff, climbed trees, climbed mountains, went canoeing etc as a child. Those things are memorable, but they probably only made up 2% of my free time. Mostly it was indoors - reading, watching TV, surfing the internet, chatting to people online.<p>In the early 2000s there wasn't tablets, but there was internet and internet culture. There wasn't Youtube, but there was funnyjunk. This feels a lot like the classic cycle of fear for the children of today.
This is not to undermine what the article says, but I think I am lucky that my kids have access to a nice environment that allows playtime the way we think it should be. I live in a condo in Bangalore, and one thing that is very common in condos here is that kids play in the common areas and elders also meet every evening starting 5PM(ish), until sundown. This is the only reason why I have declined job opportunities elsewhere that may have given me better financial rewards, but would have taken away the above from my family (kids and ageing parents).
I grew up in the 80s and some seasons, I spent every waking hour I could in front of computers and video game consoles, starting with a C64 and an Atari. Perhaps children obsessing over a video games has become more widespread, but it’s not new. If someone threatened to take away my Sega Master system in 1987, I would have seen that as very dire.
The decline in playtime for all is a major concern. It is difficult to find a group to play any pick-up sports e.g., basketball. Even adult leagues are difficult, as no one really commits, just shows up when they can, if they have nothing else better going on.
My sister has a 5-year-old son. I asked her what toy I should get him for Christmas. She said, "Oh, he doesn't play with toys anymore. He only plays video games." I was aghast. A 5-year-old who ... doesn't like toys? It can't be healthy. And the really sad part is that my sister doesn't see a problem.
Is there a corresponding decline in the quality of adult playtime? Is the always connected 24/7 on call lifestyle of parents the root cause? I have to imagine there is some hypocrisy in living that lifestyle and expecting your kids to do otherwise. What about taking electronics away from the <i>parents</i> first?
As a child I spent my afternoons with an air rifle in the African bush on my grandfather's farm. Good times. Now I spend 12+ hours a day in front of a computer.
This honestly scares me so much. I have a 14 year old brother. I've tried very hard to make him workout, join a soccer team and try to draw in his free time. But there are no kids running around outside, they don't ask each other to hang out. They don't do anything.
It's weird how no one disputes the term quality in the title. Why is technology-based playtime not considered "quality"? Doesn't it demonstrate a biased view of the issue?<p>Don't get me wrong, I also think there might be a problem in how kids grow up nowadays. But in my opinion, it lies more in the variety of entertainment offered to youth, rather than mobile phones/internet/video games being bad.
I grew up staying out past sunset daily, rain or shine, playing street hockey, building ramps and forts until I was in highs school. My wife is from Italy and having lived there I see guys my age who are just as street smart/adventurous and well rounded but grew up in apartments with a very different childhood. Americans think our experience is so special :/. That is the phenomena
This view seems to be highly dependent on where you (and your kids) live.<p>If there's a sense of a community, kids do have chances to play together and outside. The parents too have a reasonable feeling of safety for their kids. It goes without need to prove that most parents would rather have their kids learn an autonomous way of playing as soon as possible. This should free the parents' attention for their own 'playtime'.<p>However, if such community does not exist, so goes away that sense of security and those helicopters go hover.<p>The author's nostalgia likely relates to that community. Was it in early suburbia or a quiet village where 'everyone knows your name'?<p>In present day metropolises, despite the density, the residents feel more apart. Meanwhile, the suburbia closed inwards.<p>But kids being kids find ways to adapt... to their parents way of living. If anything to change, that should begin with the parents' view of their own 'playtime'. Camping, or being outside playing? Please, just find fun chances to step out, the kids would follow!
I had both experiences of a forest and urban area. I lived in western MA backed by woods up until 4th grade. Then I moved to the San Fernando valley. I think starting around age 6-7, I walked/biked everywhere, usually to a friends house, or a park/woods to play.<p>I also went to a magnet public school for middle/high school. It seems in as if everyone sends their kids to private school in San Francisco now which seems crazy to me. Did schools get that bad in the past 20 years?
I signed up to take Taekwondo with my daughters. We have a ton of fun both in class and practicing forms and kicks at home. It's a great source of confidence and pride for them. Some of the classes are self-defense / anti-bullying oriented, too, which is nice. It's a really fun parent/child activity that I'd recommend for anybody.
I highly recommend everyone to read the book The Coddling of the American Mind. A large chunk of it is dedicated to this very question: why children have much less play time today than in the past, how it's harming them and what to do about it.<p>Its conclusions are fairly counter-intuitive, but the reasoning is very convincing and backed up by lots of cited research.
With globalism, your kids are now competing at a global level. And when you are competing with kids from 3rd world countries that are spending all their free time learning and studying, many of which are immigrating to the U.S. and entering the U.S. job market, there is no time for "play" if you want to make sure you have the competitive edge needed to land a decent job.