Off-topic question, purely for curiosity: MicroSD cards aren't particularly great for IO, correct? What's a next-step-up IO that would still be cheap, and do any companies sell an equivalent-to-RPi3 board with better IO?<p>(USB should be better than MicroSD, but that takes up CPU, correct?)
tl;dr: turns out this is a "Octa-Core 64-bit AiO Android System", running on Linux 3.4.39 (Android 5.1). It's junk unless someone can get a mainline kernel running on it. Maybe the PostmarketOS folks will be able to help.