I don't want to go teetotal, I enjoy a drink and drinking socially, at dinners, weekends etc. But there are times I drink too much and forget what happened the night before or get anxious that I did something or said something. I only ever drink on a weekend and not throughout the week.<p>Justin Kan just announced he's giving up drinking alcohol: https://twitter.com/justinkan/status/1120188473263050758 and I admire people who do this. But I always see info/tips on giving up completely, what about just keeping a lid on it?
My grandfather was an alcoholic. It came about because of the great sorrow he felt after his own father died in a car accident. A small drink each day became a larger one. This iterates. Time passes. I remember when he was in rehab once, as a child I was brought to visit him. His genuineness was so magnified. He was such a good man sober; well known and loved by many in the town through his small business. He never broke free for long though. Never violent but never fully there because his faculties were always suppressed by the effects.<p>After many years, when his health was failing, he begged us grandchildren not to follow this path. The regret was so palpable. This was later in my college years, and with all the parties it was hard to pull back. Augustine once wrote, "To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation". It is a respectable path especially for anyone too far along. I am no teetotaler either though. Moderation is also admirable.<p>I set two limits and they have worked fairly well in my own life:<p>1) No more than two reasonably sized drinks in a day.<p>2) Never drink alone.<p>I nurse those drinks along and savor each tiny sip. It has worked well for over ten years and prevented ramping up into anything further. A suggested third rule that has grown on me is:<p>3) Drink only to amplify joyful occasions never to drown sorrowful ones.<p>It may not be for everyone however perhaps this will help some. Godspeed.
Change your social circle and engage in a radical (to you) sport that requires lots of stamina and endurance (Muay Thai). In short, the lifestyle you have loves conjuncting with alcohol. Sports are a major player. Not only the body gets hammered but the mind as well. I used the same method before to quit smoking. Even if you will show up at social events you won't have the same longing for Booz as you used to. I firmly believe this apply to the general public. Athletes in general do not drink as much as the average joe ( If they do at all). It's funny how people want an easy not so harsh solution to their problems, because there simply isn't. Once the elephant in the room starts ballooning you need to set your ego aside and admit you need change; major change.
I think I have a different view on this than most people here.<p>It seems that there is a tendency to simply suggest that anyone who does drinks to excess sometimes is an alcoholic and therefore is a special case who cannot drink.<p>What I observe is that most (not only a special few) people who drink have times where they over-do it and it usually has significant negative consequences in those cases.<p>In my opinion people want to blame the individual because they love alcohol and don't want to admit that it could be a problem in itself.<p>I think there is a basic thing working against everyone who intends to moderate their alcohol consumption which is that alcohol reduces your ability to make good decisions. So on a bad day or circumstance with a reduced cognitive capacity, anyone can make a wrong decision about whether to have another drink.<p>So personally I think the answer is just to find other activities that are fun that don't require alcohol. Also this idea that anyone who runs into problems is an alcoholic is false and effectively stigmatizes people who decide to quit because it has the suggestion that they are an alcoholic and something is wrong with them.<p>If you sometimes run into problems with alcohol it's not you. It's the chemical. Don't let people try to blame you for it.<p>To me the answer for social lubrication is just to have some kind of structure for group activities, in other words a game. It works fine. You don't see kids walking around depressed because they couldn't go drinking with their buddies. Kids have activities and play games and have fun. There is nothing about being an adult that makes it so you can no longer have fun without alcohol.
You might consider the Sinclair Method.
<a href="https://cthreefoundation.org/the-sinclair-method" rel="nofollow">https://cthreefoundation.org/the-sinclair-method</a><p>You take an opioid antagonist, like naltrexone, 1 hour prior to drinking. Since drinking produces endorphins, which are blocked by the antagonist, the brain stops associating drinking with pleasure, which results in a lower desire to drink.<p>The downside being that if you drink without the antagonist, your brain returns to its old patterns.<p>Anecdotally, my personal experience was after trying the method was that I no longer wanted to drink, and when I did, with or without the naltrexone, my problematic drinking behaviors mostly went away. I mostly abstain now.
When I lived in NYC I started inviting friends for a "walk and talk" instead of going to a bar. Going to a bar is such a generic crutch for "I want to spend some time with you". Walking around the city and catching up while on a nice amble was a refreshing change. Saved some money too.
If you're not a "one or two drinks" type of person and alcohol is a negatively impacting you, then you really have to permanently stop drinking like Justin Kan. The average drinker "keeps a lid" by moderating their intake because they know how to stop. It's that simple. If you don't know how to stop, then you have to stop completely.
> there are times I drink too much and forget what happened the night before<p>That's bad.<p>You may not be able to reduce your alcohol consumption. Not everyone can. But...<p>> I only ever drink on a weekend and not throughout the week.<p>That's a good sign. So what's happening here is that alcohol lowers your inhibitions. When you're sober, you have control over yourself, which is why you can get through the week. When you start drinking, you lose that control, so you keep drinking, and you pass out. Whether you can drink without crossing that threshold is an open question. Like I said, not everyone can do that. For some people, one drink pushes them over the edge.<p>Do this experiment: next weekend, don't drink at all.<p>If you can do that, then the FOLLOWING weekend have ONE drink and STOP. (That's one drink for the WHOLE WEEKEND. Not one drink on Friday and another on Saturday.)<p>If that works out OK, then the NEXT weekend, have two and then stop. Not all at once. Pace yourself. At least an hour between drinks. If that works out OK, then the NEXT weekend go up to three.<p>If at any time you find yourself thinking, "This is all OK, I can have one more" then STOP. That's the danger sign.<p>If at any stage in this process you find yourself making excuses for why it's OK short-circuit any step in the process, then I have bad news for you: you're an alcoholic, and if you don't want to keep blacking out you're going to have to just stop.<p>UPDATE: raztogt21 also had some very good advice: never drink alone. It also helps to let your drinking buddies know that you're on this program so that they can help keep an eye on you. If your friends ever encourage you to drink past your limit, get new friends.
My take is that you're better off finding a social life that is not alcohol fueled.<p>I have never "blacked out" but I did get in trouble with my extended family for going to parties with an open bar, drinking too much, and acting like an ass.<p>That for me was a wake-up call.<p>Then there was the time that we made a huge amount of applejack and around the holidays I would drink consistently quite a bit and find that if I didn't drink my body felt warm and I was a little irritable and I figured that was a sign of getting physically dependent -- that was a wake up call too.<p>More recently I've found that I usually wake up with a glucose reading around 95 (good but not great), but if I drink alcohol and have disrupted sleep I get a glucose reading around 120 (flaming diabetic).<p>As a result of that it is really rare that I drink these days. Maybe I have a beer or two now and then but not on a regular basis.<p>For me the consequences and fear of consequences has been sufficient motivation.
YMMV, but after a substantially embarassing night (that I found out about the following day) I realized that the feeling of wondering if I did something embarassing (or, horror of finding out that I did) was quite a bit worse than the good feelings I got from drinking that much.<p>Now, whenever I drink I keep those thoughts in the forefront of my mind. I know I will have _more_ fun if I don't go overboard - with a bonus that I don't need to worry about anything the following day. Whenever I'm approaching my limit, I weigh each drink with these thoughts in mind. What will be more fun? An extra drink, potential embarassment, and lots of anxiousness? Or a glass of water, no embarassment, and no anxiousness?<p>I imagine this requires friends who wont egg you on. I'm lucky to have a group of friends that understand when I say "I'm done for tonight", they say "okay, no problem! want a water? pop?" rather than encouraging me to get black-out drunk.
1. Build a budget for drinking. Nothing caps it like limiting the amount that you can spend on it.
2. Have your socializing focus on activities as opposed to drinking. E.G. If you are bowling you'll be more focused on the game and than you are on the drinking.
3. Drink a glass of water in between each drink. Double bonus for reducing hangover effects
4. Buy a breathalizer. Yep! A weird one but you can keep the BAC below the driving limit and you'll be pleasantly surprised.
5. Change locations often, and walk in between locations. First this is great for getting quality time with your friends. Second, you can use this trick to save money (happy hour in one place, dinner in another). Third, there will be prolonged periods of time between each location that you will not be drinking.<p>Sounds like you could also benefit from just imbibing drinks that are limited in alcohol content. Session Beers, Campari spritz, some sakes etc.
This is just a personal anecdote, but after taking Ecstasy/MDMA once around 9 months ago i realised how bad the alcoholic "high" is. Since then i have been drinking way less. Often only one or two beers, then i'm done. I guess what im trying to say is to reflect over who you become and how alcohol affects your personality, temperament and motoric skills when drinking alcohol excessively. Knowing i will become bad at speech, get bad motorics, and start focusing more and more on sex, and will start behaving like a cave-man towards women and men alike makes me think of alcohol in a totally separate light than before.
I started to really question my drinking over the last year or so. During the week I would drink a few beers or glasses of wine a night with a martini or other cocktail sprinkled in. The weekends would often involve more with a heavy hangover coming after neighborhood parties. I’ve gone the route of moderation and counting drinks and it was difficult to do, depressing and left me feeling deprived much of the time. One day I was in a forum reading a question much like this and someone mentioned a book called This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It’s been a game changer for me and I’d highly recommend it. She actually suggests continuing to drink normally while you read it. She dives into a lot of the science and really opens your eyes to the world of alcohol around you. I haven’t stopped completely and I’m not sure if I ever will but the pull that booze had on me before is gone and I can confidently feel I’ll have a drink whenever I want; the idea of allowing yourself that freedom is empowering. Over the last 6 months I’m down maybe 75%. The social pressures are really the hardest for me now. The line of questioning you get is intense and something I was guilty of doing myself to others who weren’t throwing them back with me at the time. Best of luck in your own journey wherever it takes you.
Set a limit before you go out. Alternate alcoholic drinks with other drinks. Chose smaller weaker drinks. Ask your friends and family for support with your new lower limits.<p><a href="https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/tips-on-cutting-down-alcohol/" rel="nofollow">https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-support/tips-on-cutting...</a>
Take it one day at a time. Tell yourself that today I will not drink. There are other methods, such as to be curious about your behavior.. ask questions of why you drink or ask yourself why you are drinking too much. You can find a therapist who would help with that. Be curious and explore what are the conditions that you find yourself wanting a drink and what reasons may account for them. Can you replace alcohol with something else? Then there's naltrexone and other medical interventions that work well. Essentially you redirect your biology and associate alcohol with feeling sick so your body will develop an aversion to it. Other methods include changing your group of friends if they are a source of drinking as well unless are ok being sober in their company. You can also join AA or find a sponsor. AA doesn't work for everyone but it sure does show you a cross section of life and how alcohol impacts it.
For me, having hobbies that don't often include drinking seems to help. I play board games, go to book discussions, writer's groups, attend hack nights, go see a movie, go out hiking with people.<p>Depending on the group, there could be alcohol involved, but usually there isn't, in my experience (or just one or two people will drink, and only a glass or two).<p>For me it very much depends on who I'm with. I once dated a girl that loved to get wasted on alcohol on dates, and I liked her so I drank a lot with her myself. The current woman I'm dating gets sick if she drinks alcohol, so I pretty much only drink a drink here or there when I meet up with her family or I'm out with certain friends. I easily go six months without a drink now, and usually not much more than a couple of drinks a month.<p>If I drink too much my next day is completely unproductive, and I hate that, so that also helps to keep me from drinking too much also.
I used to drink quite a bit as a student and for a few years after uni. It's very common in the UK.<p>Now I have children I'd be up in the night quite a lot and if you were drunk it would feel horrendous. Also there is the possibility that you might need to be there for them if they were sick or need to go to hospital in the middle of the night. Additionally I like to do a lot of sport in my free time and I struggle to do anything even a gentle bike ride or walk if I've had a drink.<p>A couple of years ago I set myself a 2 drink limit. I've only broken it once or twice and I don't see that as an issue. Most of the time it means I'm ok to drive in an emergency, can be up early without a hangover and can stay active. I have a beer at home 2 or 3 times a week and really enjoy it so I don't think drinking alone is an issue for me.<p>Wish I'd done it years ago!
It's easy for social drinking, I did it to.<p>There are some great 0% beers out there in Belgium. I personally recommend "Brugse Zot" ( with alcohol) and "Sport Zot" ( without alcohol), nobody will see the difference and it will make it a lot easier. ( Both taste great)<p>If you go to someone at home, just bring 1 pack of each with you and drink the 0%. It's the best trick I found out to reduce social drinking.<p>Just drink 1 of 2 without and try it out. It's actually not much different, the social "vibe" is the same.<p>The biggest difference seems to be when you drink water ( socially)<p>Ps. Only drank 1 evening in the weekend. But it was mostly when I had a lot of stress from work, that I drank too much
Don't buy alcohol. Seriously, when there's no booze around, I don't drink. When there is booze around, I often end up drinking ALL of it. Don't buy it, and you're good to go.
What is a 'normal amount'? Is there a way of calculating this?<p>I know people who drink three drinks and they are gone. I also know people who drink 6 drinks a day, don't black out, get home safe and are fully(seemingly, not sure) functional and productive the next day.<p>Reducing to 'normal' or some level has to be backed up by meaning i think. And that meaning of normal is what I am trying to discover.
Precommit. When you go to drink tell everyone (including the barkeep) your limit. When you have had a few and your inhibitions drop, come back to your precommitment.<p>Do not keep alcohol in your house - inconvenience is a friend of sobriety.<p>Remember the old saw about alcoholism : first you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink. A little bit of a runaway process may not be in your control.
One technique that's worked for me is drinking a good non-alcoholic drink. In my case Beck's non-alcoholic beer is the best I've found. It's not cheap and costs more than the the usual beer I drink.<p>It's good enough though that I hardly notice when I drink it rather than my usual, traditional 5pm beer.
Ensure you've eaten well.<p>Pick a drink which has a taste to your liking. Relish it while you drink it.<p>Drink a glass of water between drinks.<p>Stop after a couple of drinks. This is much easier if you've done the above.<p>(This may turn out to be rubbish advice but there may be a good idea or two in there.)
I’m in the middle of a $5000 bet with a friend on who can stay completely sober the longest.<p>This seems to be working great for both of us, it’s been almost a month with no end in sight.<p>It’s crazy how satisfying non-alcoholic beers are, can’t say I really miss “real” beer.
I would highly recommend the book "Alcohol Explained" by William Porter.<p>I found it very simple yet powerful - down to earth and practical, cold explanation about every side of drinking alcohol.
Count your drinks. It's way too easy to just say "yea I'll have one more" when you're not consciously thinking "well, I've had 6 already..."
Remove the psychological pressure that's driving you to drink and you'll find you don't want to drink. I changed my job and dumped all my drinking friends. I'm also ok forging my own path without friends so that part was easy for me.
Drink hard liquor.<p>It may depend on the culture of your country and social circle, but cutting beer, wine and cocktails has allowed me to drastically cut my alcohol intake.<p>For example, people around me will often drink wine while eating lunch or dinner. Or they might offer you a beer if you're coming in on a hot sunday afternoon. Or if you're watching TV together. In all of these situations, drinking hard liquor or asking for it would be strange socially speaking. There are only a few occasions (before dinner with appetizers, after lunch as digestive, while having "a" drink after work...) in which it's okay to drink liquor and to be the only one doing so. And if you're invited, it would be rude to ask for a lot of liquor from your hosts (because it's more expensive than wine and they likely did not prepare for it anyways so the supply is short).<p>IMO It's also easier to feel you're getting drunk with liquor, because it's not as gradual as beer: when you stand up after having 3 or 4 drinks, it hits you right away that you've had too much. So you know it's time to switch to water.