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Ask HN: How to be more confident and people person?

2 pointsby codesternewsabout 6 years ago
In the pressurized situation, I lose my confidence. I am not good people person but I think it is affecting me so much.<p>I am good in technology but could not explainand present ideas.<p>How to improve myself? Any books and suggestions are welcome.

3 comments

kodz4about 6 years ago
Practice. Practice. Practice. My prof set up a small reading group when I was in college. 5-6 students would get together every week and discuss a preassigned paper. I was like you, lacking in confidence, hesitant to disagree, handling confrontation badly etc. But the group created an environment where I could learn how to deal with these things. I could see others fumbling about and realized it was not just me struggling. When I got things right others encouraged me. All this slowly translated into increased confidence.<p>So try and set something up like that with friends&#x2F;people who want to see you improve. Every week meet up and practice.<p>Also recommend Marshall Rosenburg&#x27;s Non-violent communication. It really helped me see certain things I was doing wrong and showed me ways to avoid them.
steve_gabout 6 years ago
I think this book could be helpful. I&#x27;ve only skimmed it; I gave it as a gift to someone. All the parts I read seemed realistic, affirming, and practical.<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;Social-Skills-Guidebook-Shyness-Conversations&#x2F;dp&#x2F;0994980701&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;Social-Skills-Guidebook-Shyness-Conve...</a>
guest__userabout 6 years ago
I think you can start by avoiding saying things like &quot;I am not a good people person&quot; You can try to understand what your benchmarks are for performance. Maybe you can say &quot;Sometimes i feel shy&quot; instead of &quot;I am shy&quot; . Do you see the difference between the two?