It is not easy.<p>While at university, I once went to the university shrink and said, look, I have no motivation, I can't get myself to go to the gym and exercise, I don't manage to get a good sleep rhythm, I eat crap, I don't study enough, I have no discipline.<p>The guy says, well, I know exactly what's wrong and what you need to do: you need to develop more discipline, study more, eat healthy, develop a regular sleep rhythm, go to the gym and exercise, and be more motivated.<p>No shit! Thanks Sherlock.<p>So, here my attempt to give slightly more useful advice. I read research concluding that behavioural change can come about through three means:<p>1. an epiphany (eg someone you know develops cancer, and you suddenly realise what's important) - rare.<p>2. a significant change in surroundings (eg you move to a different country) - rare.<p>3. baby steps, but sustained baby steps. Like an oil tanker - you change the direction by just a degree (and even that is hard), but over years you end up at a better place.<p>The latter is realistic. (Found the source: <a href="https://www.tinyhabits.com" rel="nofollow">https://www.tinyhabits.com</a> )<p>I'd try:<p>* be compassionate and benevolent towards yourself. Sure, you have flaws, but nobody is perfect. Do not compare yourself to others (particularly not to Instagram caricatures or Nobel laureates or Fields medalists or so). Depending on what motivates you, you could consider this effort (taking care of yourself and being good to yourself) as a duty, or as a challenge, or as a commandment, or an axiom, or a tool. (This does not mean that you should be egocentric and selfish, just the opposite: you have to be healthy and strong so you can better help others!)<p>* recognise that bias in self-perception is ok, and both overconfidence and "underconfidence" have advantages and disadvantages. Now, for you, it's the way it is, no need to beat yourself up for it, now let's work with what's there.<p>* read the book "Mindset" by Carol Dweck. (Someone recommended the Stoics ("A Guide to the Good Life"), but not sure how applicable that is here, though it is a great book. It emphasises the idea that you should not care so much about things, but about your response to them - the only thing you can change is yourself, your own behaviour.)<p>* set some small goals (just say hello to someone at a conference or ask someone a question in supermarket, wake up at 8am for a week, read 15 mins of documentation every day for something you want to learn, ... ), try your best, and don't beat yourself up if you don't manage one day - just get back on the horse. Just get back on the horse. Take a smaller horse if need be, and get back up.<p>* check out Martin Seligman and "Positive Psychology", "Authentic Happiness".<p>* maybe do consider going to a psychotherapist employing CBT.