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The ABC's of Guiding the Child (1967) [pdf]

117 pointsby jyriandalmost 6 years ago

8 comments

munk-aalmost 6 years ago
I appreciate the era of instructions where you could call a document "The ABC's of X" without then feeling obligated to actually run through the alphabet in order and crowbar different sentiments in - speaking of which, backcronyms need to go away forever now.
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sdegutisalmost 6 years ago
On a related note, here&#x27;s a mobile-formatted PDF called &quot;How a Saint corrected children&quot;<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;drive.google.com&#x2F;file&#x2F;d&#x2F;1wEdBKMA2VZtz0BzOsZEOGc5X7HJaVP0w&#x2F;view?usp=sharing" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;drive.google.com&#x2F;file&#x2F;d&#x2F;1wEdBKMA2VZtz0BzOsZEOGc5X7HJ...</a><p>And similarly, the &quot;Salesian Preventive System&quot;:<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;drive.google.com&#x2F;file&#x2F;d&#x2F;1LsfGlh0MiOMOLoYco9IAlxjqWgWa3N33&#x2F;view?usp=sharing" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;drive.google.com&#x2F;file&#x2F;d&#x2F;1LsfGlh0MiOMOLoYco9IAlxjqWgW...</a><p>(Taken from <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;salesianfamily.org&#x2F;pedagogy&#x2F;preventive-system" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;salesianfamily.org&#x2F;pedagogy&#x2F;preventive-system</a> and formatted via LaTeX.)
UncleChisalmost 6 years ago
Natural consequences: What if the child doesn&#x27;t care about consequence, or what if he&#x2F;she likes the consequence? In the example of being late for school, the child could consider it as a reward, that he&#x2F;she doesn&#x27;t have to go to school anymore.
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el_dev_hellalmost 6 years ago
This is basically a listicle from 1967. You could publish this on Buzzfeed by making the title &quot;21 Ways to Raise AWESOME Children (Number 12 Will Shock You!)&quot; and adding emojis.
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spicymakialmost 6 years ago
Seems like good advice for adults as well.
projektfualmost 6 years ago
This appears to be the related talk: <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;centervideo.forest.usf.edu&#x2F;qpi&#x2F;goalsofpar&#x2F;goalsofpar.html" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;centervideo.forest.usf.edu&#x2F;qpi&#x2F;goalsofpar&#x2F;goalsofpar....</a>
lgatsalmost 6 years ago
Mobile Friendly View: <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;pdf.cab&#x2F;centervideo.forest.usf.edu&#x2F;qpi&#x2F;goalsofpar&#x2F;handout04.pdf" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;pdf.cab&#x2F;centervideo.forest.usf.edu&#x2F;qpi&#x2F;goalsofpar&#x2F;han...</a>
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asdfasgasdgasdgalmost 6 years ago
There&#x27;s some good advice here, but I don&#x27;t know how evidence-based it all is. For example, I understand that there is some evidence that extrinsic rewards have problems when delivered in certain ways, but I don&#x27;t think we&#x27;ve entirely overturned behaviorism. Rewards and punishments are a tool that the world uses on us, like it or not. It would be surprising if there were no place for that tool in child-rearing.<p>Likewise, I question the advice to not involve oneself in children&#x27;s fights. If one child is much bigger than the other, they can impose their will on the smaller child. Growing up, I saw friends who were on the losing side of this exchange, and it can be scarring.<p>Still more of the advice is well meant but impractical. &quot;Never do for the child what they can do for themselves.&quot; Suppose I have a flight to catch, and my son refuses to put on his own shoes. Am I to miss the flight then? My son can be stubborn. On one occasion I tried to follow this advice when he refused to walk himself home. We stood on the sidewalk for half an hour in twenty degree weather before I gave up and compelled him to walk home.<p>I suspect, like much parenting advice, this stuff works for some kids and doesn&#x27;t work for others. So much of parenting advice is survivorship bias. That a particular technique works for one child does not imply it works for all children. I can buy that these points are effective for most children, but ultimately you have to do what it takes to survive, and part of that is tailoring this stuff to your unique relationship with your own child.
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