Somewhat related:<p>"The weak regrets his words more than his silence; the strong regrets his silence more than his words; the magnificent regrets nothing." -- N. N. Taleb
This reminds me of Stoicism. Something that is simple but definitely not easy. Something I struggle with.<p>> It’s important to remember that this is an exercise and not a rhetorical device. He doesn’t mean “think about” misfortune, he means live it. Comfort is the worst kind of slavery because you’re always afraid that something or someone will take it away. But if you can not just anticipate but practice misfortune, then chance loses its ability to disrupt your life.<p><a href="http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/04/13/stoicism-101-a-practical-guide-for-entrepreneurs/" rel="nofollow">http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2009/04/13/stoicism-101...</a>
> Instead, I think that I am able to separate my identity from my work. Perhaps it is a defense mechanism at its core.<p>I think this is the core of egoless programming; this, to me, has been the hardest thing to learn.
I applaud Gabriel for his (non)accomplishments - particularly in finding appreciation for all of his brain-children, no matter what they've become. I don't think it is a defense mechanism, I think it is a healthy appreciation for the life-death cycle that everything experiences. A knowing that is only got by "trying and dying" multiple times :)<p>It will serve him well as a father too.
I've learned to manage my emotions, including those that accompany failure, pretty well over the years, but there's still that initial involunary feeling of despair that, however brief, I can't get rid of. It's really nasty.<p>If you can get past that, I think you can overcome anything -- I've never faced a bigger personal challenge.
If we want our life to go well, Epictetus says, we should,
rather than wanting events to conform to our desires, make
our desires conform to events; we should, in other words, want
events “to happen as they do happen.” - Taken from A guide to the good life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy<p>I think this pretty much works for me now.
Xamuel doesn't get much traction on HN but here he is spot on:<p><a href="http://www.xamuel.com/a-message-of-regret/" rel="nofollow">http://www.xamuel.com/a-message-of-regret/</a><p>He also has many interesting <i>very</i> non conventional posts beside the purely "math nerd/tech nerd" ones.