I don't know how to spend money.<p>Growing up in a family that wasn’t exactly poor but never had much spare money to go around we lived within our means and sometimes tightened our belts and went without. I’m incredibly grateful to my parents for raising me in a way to not waste money or live ostentatiously.<p>I wear the same basic t-shirt, jeans and sneakers type combo everyday and have no need to upgrade to $300 jeans or $100 extra soft cotton t shirts. My OnePlus3T still works great. I go on a road trip vacation every year and explore a foreign country every few years. I don’t really have the work schedule that allows for 1+ month long vacations or multiple trips abroad each year. I like to cook and have some good equipment for that but don’t see the value of upgrading to fancy saucepans and skillets when my $30 cast iron works great. I live in a nice apartment in a city that has public transport.<p>The point i’m making is I have enough. Yet as I watch my bank balance grow as I earn this typical tech-job salary that I could have only dreamed of 15 years ago I leave myself with the strange problem of not knowing how to spend money. I’ve cautiously asked friends about this kind of thing but “I’ll spend it for you!1!! hur dur” is obviously unhelpful. I’m really trying to not sound brattish as I know many people live pay check to pay check but I really feel like I actually might have some kind of phobia or aversion to spending money that could be developing in to a real problem.<p>I search online for something like “how to start spending money” and all I get are articles saying “how to stop spending money!” which apparently the rest of the world seems to be doing. I’m trying to do the opposite and start spending to enjoy the fruits of my hard work over all these years.<p>How do you adjust your lifestyle as your salary grows and you find yourself in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to upgrade to more when you don’t really need/want to?
Don't. You are happy. Learning to spend more only makes you want to spend more. It's not much better than doing drugs.<p>I bought a nice gaming rig once and it's only made me unhappier - it meant I had to buy good looking games which I didn't really want, take time off to play, etc.<p>Personally, what's given me the best money to happiness ratio is donating. You don't have to put it all in one place. Give to many people. I love getting letters back from people who have received my donations. I once bought a platinum sponsorship for an education event where they read our sponsor names and put the name as "MY NAME IS JON CENA".<p>You can also do something like buy a thing on Humble Bundle and put a link to your favorite thing. I actually made a good friend this way who stumbled across a little ad.<p>You'd also be surprised how few people donate. It's easy to hit top 10% of something because the bar is so low. Get a VIP seat at a charity dinner. Meet other cool people who give a lot.
There is nothing wrong with not wasting money. That said, you should avoid being a miser.<p>I faced that problem years ago. A few things I did was:<p>1) find a charity that you believe in. I recommend looking at web sites that rate charities.<p>2) Develop some hobbies. Explore life. I took up bicycling and ball room dance.<p>3) keep avoiding $300 jeans, people who do that have more money than brains.<p>4) make sure your spare money is wisely invested. In the US I recommend people go with Vanguard
One perspective is that money is just fuel that can (perhaps) help you get where you're going. Where do you want to go?<p>If you haven't, maybe set some big picture long term goals. What do you want your life to be like in e.g. 1, 5, 10, 20, 30 years? How do you want to be spending your time? Do any of those goals have financial requirements or influence what you would spend money on?<p>> I go on a road trip vacation every year and explore a foreign country every few years. I don’t really have the work schedule that allows for 1+ month long vacations or multiple trips abroad each year<p>Maybe you're in a situation where you have an abundance of cash but a shortage of large blocks of free time. Do you have any opportunities to exchange cash for time? Does your employer offer unpaid leave? Can you change your job for one that doesn't generate as much cash but let's you do what you want 2 months per year?
> How do you adjust your lifestyle as your salary grows and you find yourself in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to upgrade to more when you don’t really need/want to?<p>Aim to retire early so you can spend time on things you enjoy instead of working? Not being drawn into throwing your money away on stuff you don't need because you think it'll make you happy and living a sustainable low waste life is a great thing.
Don't - once you start spending money, your lifestyle becomes dependent on that spending. If you are happy with your simpler life, don't feel bad for being happy. Just keep doing what you are doing.<p>Many people with money and more extravagant spending habits end up asking the opposite question - "How do I simplify things?"<p>As far as enjoying the fruits of your hard work, I'd recommend enjoying it by retiring young. Or, if you are more of an idealist, contribute to projects and organizations that you believe are helping the world
Start a budget.<p>That might sound odd, but a budget isn't just a way to limit your spending/saving, it's a way to prioritize it. Choose some things you want to explore spending money on and budget for that. Then when you have saved enough do it. It could be an experience, a new set of saucepans(seriously, upgrade your pans if you enjoy cooking! You'll still love your cast iron but you'll be able to do so much more), a trip, or a donation.<p>I somewhat agree with other commenters who are saying don't change, but you clearly want to. So setting up a budget to allow yourself the permission to spend the money you are earning in ways that make sense to you seems like one possible solution.
Keep it around as insurance. Don't spend money because you feel like you have to.<p>If you keep it around, then it'll give you the freedom to quit your job when it becomes a pain in the ass, or take some time off when you feel like you need to, or to be able to weather bumpy market conditions when others might struggle.<p>It's life insurance. Don't be afraid to spend it when the time comes, but don't feel obligated to find a reason because you're bored.<p>Personally, I've never regretted using money to get back more time or investing in my health (buying better quality food, for example).
If I had more money that I wanted to spend I will probably invest in some "buy it for life" things. There is a subreddit for that. Things such as: high quality bike, kitchen appliances, leather bag, fountain pen etc. that will last so I could use them for significant amount of my life.<p>I would prefer to buy higher quality items that don't need to be replaced as often (or rather never) but the initial investment cost is unfortunately unbearable for grad student.
Perhaps you don't need to spend. People who spend far more than you also limit their future options. AFAIK very few people aspire to live their entire lives working in a succession of jobs.<p>Have you considered simply investing your surplus income and finding where your passion lies? Once you know what you want to do far more than shuffling off to work everyday, then you will have the capital with which to follow your dream life.
It's delusional. I tried that and failed and regretted it. By the time the money is spent, the happiness is gone.<p>> I’m trying to do the opposite and start spending to enjoy the fruits of my hard work over all these years.<p>You are approaching it the wrong way. It's like having a solution looking for a problem. If you don't feel the need for something, you don't need it.<p>> How do you adjust your lifestyle as your salary grows and you find yourself in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to upgrade to more when you don’t really need/want to?<p>Don't upgrade to more. I regretted upgrading to more even though I could afford it. By the time you upgrade, you realize that it's more of an overhead than anything else.<p>> Yet as I watch my bank balance grow as I earn this typical tech-job salary that I could have only dreamed of 15 years ago<p>This, right over here. Start investing your money into diversified assets (bonds, stocks, real estate, risky ventures, etc...). That will keep your money tied up so you don't think about spending it. If the investment works out greatly, you can now leave your job and start traveling around the world in 5* hotels.
I try to tithe, or give away, 10% of my earnings. The Bible teaches tithing as good practice. For me the 10% is just a guide. The money I give away is split between my church and individuals/organisations working with the poor. I must say that doing this gives me much joy. Even though I am only giving away little by our standards this can be a lot in other parts of the world.
I face this same situation too. Grew up with pass it down things for clothes, toys and everything. Didn’t have a phone until 2011; we simply lived a life in which we didn't develop a need. Now that I have one some parts of my life are happier, others are more grim..<p>Now I find myself not knowing how to shop for clothes, I wore what fit. Difficulty to find entertainment, we helped around the house as parents were working more to come around.<p>Now I try saying yes. Someone wants to try wakeboarding, climbing, you-name-it? I’ll set up for an instructor and rental gear. Someone likes a theater show, I’ll buy an extra ticket.
A friend of mine had a hard drive breakdown, did some tinkering and couldn’t recover it myself. I made them a gift that teaches how to do backups, with the equipment to do so. Essentially just a new external drive and some instructions to use the OS included software to backup, so it wouldn’t happen again. This included a platter-for-platter recovery of all the pictures that surprised her after the slightly salty thou-shall-do-backups rubbing.<p>Hardest thing for me is to replace broken things. 'They work fine', but I spend three times as long doing the thing. Admittedly, it's a thing I like so I don't mind spending the extra time, hehe, but a partner in life might not find the same enjoyment of using the broken thing. Avoid becoming angry because you failed to get something done within one rental-unit, it's not worth to be angry for.<p>Being at home(s) tends to be cheaper than being outside home(s). With you raising this concern, try to avoid thinking whether something is worth it before giving it a try. It’s okay to be impulse driven, you will learn from an experience. Do what makes you happy, being at home is totally fine. :-)<p>I now focus much more on experiences (let's go wakeboarding!) instead of objects/belongings (new phone w/ airpods). I find experiences make more than just myself happy and that makes me even happier! :D
Get married.<p>Seriously your description of your lifestyle is very similar to how I used to live. I used to spend money on food and going out regularly. I did buy a few expensive items like DSLR camera, PS3, TV, laptop, etc. But it was well below my income.<p>When I traveled, I went to visit my friends and crashed on their couches.<p>I think all my expenses added up to less than a 1/3rd of my income.<p>And it wasn't that I won't get excited about new products, I would read reviews, watch YouTube videos, visit stores for hands on experience but then in the end, I would decide it wasn't worth the hype.<p>I did spend on experiences like sky diving, but mostly less intense experiences like kayaking, massages, etc. Still there were few and would not make significant dent in my savings.<p>I just didn't know how to spend money nor I had desire to spend money.<p>---<p>After getting married, we learned that we had very different view of money. She bought stuff without research. She was totally okay to throw stuff in the back of closet and never touch it again.<p>I was naturally minimalist without realizing it. Every time I bought something, I not only considered how much it cost, but how space it takes, where it will go, etc.<p>Initially it was tough but we worked through it and found a compromise. This taught me how to spend money without feeling like that I am wasting it.<p>I am joking about getting married but here are a few things about spending money I have learned from my wife:<p>* Go on a nice vacation and stay in a luxury hotel. There is a huge difference in quality of service. They make you feel like a king or queen and that feeling is worth having every once in a while.<p>* Buy things at full retail price and then if you don't like them, donate instead of selling. Less stress and you feel good about giving. Applies to clothes too.<p>* Go to your local museums, zoos, art shows.
Everyone seems to be telling you not to spend money, but you already sound pretty grounded in that. You are right not to start spending $300 on jeans and $100 on shirts, because those areas of your life are good enough. You don't want to spend money frivolously, but you also don't want to die with a pile of hoarded money.<p>What do you enjoy doing? If you enjoy cycling, you can afford a nicer, lighter bike with higher end components. Do you enjoy listening to music? You can afford a higher-quality sound system. Playing music? You can afford a nicer instrument or set of instruments.
Help the other 99% that aren't as fortunate <a href="https://80000hours.org/problem-profiles/" rel="nofollow">https://80000hours.org/problem-profiles/</a>
I grew up poor and never had luxuries. In retrospect I believe this is pathological and damaging.<p>Here are some ideas to get you started:<p>- when buying computers/phones/shoes/etc just forget the price and get the one you really want<p>- trade your money for time, it's the more valuable of the two (eg. hire a house cleaning service)<p>- eat out everyday (if it's something you enjoy, personally I hate cooking)
> I don’t really have the work schedule that allows for 1+ month long vacations or multiple trips abroad each year.<p>I try to buy more time now. Negotiating less work hours is hard but 3 or 4 day weekends are great. Saving is wise too but God knows if bus hits me before retirement. Enjoy life!
You don't need to, rather you should focus on learning about investing and start putting your money there. We live in a capitalist society but the vast majority of people are purely consumers and not capitalists. People like us who accumulate extra capital get the chance the actually be capitalists and grow the money. The way you talk about your approach to money reminds me of my own approach and honestly it's fairly rare as many people are conditioned to keep raising their spending as their income grows. Reaching a level where you have enough and don't desire more but still have plenty extra capital means you can start investing for the future. Keep in mind things will change as you get older, eventually you may not want to work a regular job, etc and only people who achieve financial freedom have this option. Personally, I started out with a big passion for software development but at this point I'm pretty burnt out on it. Fortunately I have been frugal and saved / invested a lot over my career to where I have a realistic chance of living solely off my investment activities at some point in the future.
Save it.
Then save some more.
If you have more leftover, save some more.<p>Sounds like you are enjoying the fruits of life already and the way you described your spending sounds like you're enjoying it.