This is a story about my life so far and why I want to change things.<p>I'm a Father of two with a regular 9-5 job. My daily routine is not unique in anyway. Wake up, head over to the gym, shower, head back home, get the kids ready for school and leave the house for work. Standard right?<p>My Wife on the other hand works 9-5 but often the shifts are 12+ hours because of deadlines, constraints, priorities. This has really begun to bother me. I see my wife tired, mentally exhausted and almost like she's been defeated.<p>Our children need mom and dad, want to play, explore and laugh with us. But, sometimes it's hard to muster the energy when work has taken its toll on you all day. How unfair is that for the kids? They expect our love, attention and company, it's so hard when they don't get that time or emotional support.
This really has been eating away at me for sometime.<p>I keep hearing about work life balance but in our case work seems to control the pendulum weighing down on the work side of things more often than not.<p>So it got me thinking… Why are we subjecting ourselves to this? Why can't we create and achieve financial freedom? I am not referring to getting rich but replace our salaries over time so we can be there for our kids. The time we have is so limited I really want to spend more of it as a family. This has motivated me to really push on, evev when things aren't easy.<p>I'm not sure where this will lead me, but I'm determined to make this work. Coming up with ideas, validating those ideas, and making something to solve my own and others problems. I'm not sure what they will be or look like, but I'd like to program it myself and work with my wife to provide value to those who seek it.<p>This post is my initial stamp and will serve as a reminder and keep me motivated to continue on with this this task. I hope this has inspired others to act as we can only control our destiny if we act for it.
I really like the honest description of where you stand, and the way you value raising your family is commendable. But at the risk of being a bit contrarian, maybe you want to do more than raise a family?<p>Raising a family is a wonderful endeavor and an important part of life, but it's just one part of life. Most people work at least 40 hours a week, that's a huge part of their existence. Finding employment or activity that you're proud of and inspired by can take those 40 hrs/week from drudgery to inspiration.<p>I don't want to insert my own values for your own, but maybe consider optimizing your work life for yourself, and raising a family may come with it.
Hey, im in the same situation and heres how Ive been managing so far. I downgraded everything in my life except for my family who take absolute priority. I live in a smaller apt that i can afford, we live in a safe neighborhood but not the fanciest one i could afford, we dont eat out and dont spend money on things that are not essential, we cook, and do a lot of things that don’t cost a lot of mondey. This has helped us save enough money (not a lot..) to be able to work less and spend more time with the kids, especially being outdoors. I find that these years are foundational for the kids and want to be part of it. Possibly things are going to be harder later, not being able to retire early or without a good nest egg, but once again, priorities are family, now.
Hi, thanks for the post. I don't know what your personal circumstances are, where you live, how mobile your job and your wife's job are, but: have you considered working remotely and then moving to somewhere that your salary would go further, and thus give you more time to be with your kids?<p>For example: if you managed to get a remote job making $50,000 USD a year, that's a pretty good living for a family in a small city in Spain, France, Italy, Poland, Czechia, the Balkans, etc. You could work less hours (and have no commute) and your wife might not even have to work at all. Or you could both work part-time.<p>As I said, it's not as easy as I make it sound, but it's something to consider.
Thanks for posting this. It takes a bit of courage to write what you have. The hardest thing (for me) is to detach mentally/emotionally from the job when you're not there. You've just spent <i>all day</i> in an office, and it's difficult to be truly <i>present</i> when you get home. All I can say is that I struggle with similar issues, and I'm trying to work on setting more firm boundaries between <i>me</i> and <i>my job</i>. I wish you and your family the best of luck (and strength) in the coming months.
I see this in my SO. Her work so fully optimizes its use of her time and energy she's got nothing left at the end of the day and she wakes up early on the weekend with nightmares. Like, it sucks her dry. Which was fine when she was single, but I'm feeling left out more and more often. I think she's seeing it. It's a continuous discussion.