I have also found most networking (of any kind) to be an inefficient use of my time. At most events, I always had a little voice in my head saying things like, "Instead of being here, I could be building <x>," or "What could possibly come out of this discussion?" I'm also frustrated because so many events don't have my prospects, but "people who know people who know people who may know a potential prospect of mine".<p>I have taken a totally different approach. It's really simple and maybe even counter-intuitive. Hear me out:<p>Be excellent. Better yet, be <i>very</i> excellent. In everything you do.<p>If my customer doesn't think I'm their best vendor, then I have failed.<p>This applies to <i>everything</i>. In the work that I do. In the products I supply. In the fun their people have with me. In the "outside their box" thinking about every project. In the communication. In the failsafe processes of doing business (Yes, I double check that some has double checked.) In thinking 2 steps ahead of them. In being a trusted partner in that part of their business. In pristine ethics (Don't underestimate this one; one slip neutralizes <i>everything else you've ever done</i>.)<p>When I conduct business this way, I become a magnet to those who need my services. I call this "passive networking". I spend no time networking, no time marketing, pay no referrals, and focus completely on my customers. They know and appreciate this. When one of their colleagues mentions a concern at <i>their</i> networking meeting, their Tech Club, their restaurant, or in a discussion with their vendors and customers, they think of me. When they care about the people they know, they want the best for them. I always want to be thought of in this way. IMO, <i>this</i> is the definition of totally efficient marketing.<p>I know it sounds awfully old school and like a cop-out, but doing everything I can to make myself a magnet is the best thing I ever did for my business. So instead of wasting 99% of my time with strangers, I spend it directly investing 100% of it in people that already matter.
I worked this way totally by accident when I first became a self-employed contractor.<p>I didn't plan it, nor did I consciously exploit it when it happened, but it did turn out that way. The upshot was I never had to spend a second on networking and getting clients. Just two good contacts kept coming up with referrals, and the most difficult thing I had to do was to say "no, I'm too busy" every so often.
The best thing about this is that sometimes you don't even have to pay out the referral fee! I personally don't like to accept fees for anything where I'm already being compensated.<p>For example, if I am working with a client (or even plan to in the future) and I recommend Jacques, I will not accept 10%. It's a conflict of interest. Of course, if I'm not working for/with someone and I have no expectation of doing so in the future, I'm free to accept a referral fee.
<i>I've been to a few networking events and, honestly, I feel like a fish on dry land when I'm there. I don't know who to talk to, I don't like the atmosphere, and I don't do alcohol, so typically I'm bored out of my skull and somewhat annoyed - not the best first impression to make on the others.</i><p>This is exactly what happened to me the last time I went someplace hoping to "network." The conversations were dominated by callow young guys (only a few years younger than me, but acting like teenagers) either making it clear how much they thought about themselves or making snarky comments about other people's architectures. With regard to the latter, I just stood there thinking, "You could be right, but you obviously don't know enough about the specifics of their technology to make a sound engineering judgment, much less convince anybody else," knowing that if I opened my mouth everyone would think I was an idiot who felt defensive about bad design. Personally, I do drink alcohol, and all I wanted to do was get drunk so I wouldn't feel so miserable standing there feeling out of place. To avoid that I just sat down and read a book on my iPhone until the technical presentation started. Total networking failure! I think I'm stuck relying on former coworkers to be my network, which is just fine with me.
Having consulted in NYC roughly 2002-2010, I highly recommend finding a good agency. I got all my gigs that way and they were consistently longer lasting and higher paying than gigs I got through networking. Plus, I didn't have to lift a finger - no negotiations, late payments, collections, etc., and I never had any downtime as long as I gave my agent a couple weeks notice.