I'm trying to come up with a semi-stealth "about" for my newest project. The point is to give a little (clever) insight on the project, but not to give the farm away. Please let me know what you think...<p>"Want to pay $34/month or get roped into a six month contract? We know the perfect match for you. But it's NOT us.<p>Want to answer more than 400 pointless questions? We know a place that can give you such harmony. But it's NOT us.<p>Want to join a site that's all about free and all about flakes? We know a great spot for you to fish. But it's NOT us.<p>AKChances is different. And different is good."<p>If you want to see it on the web, the landing page is http://akchances.com and the about is http://akchances.com/about
A few comments:<p>I found that page-loads were a bit slow. And if I hadn't come from HN, I doubt that I would have clicked on "learn more", so you may want to move your copy directly to the landing page. Also, you might improve the typography.<p>The copy itself seems pretty good. I think you mixed in the right amount of subtlety. If I had to reword:<p>---<p>Want to pay $34/month on a six month contract? We have a match for you. But not us.<p>Want to answer 400 pointless questions? We can find you harmony. But not us.<p>Want something all about free and all about flakes? We have a spot for you to fish. But not us.<p>AKChances is different. And different is good.<p>---<p>I have little expertise in building/market landing pages, so take my advice with a grain of salt ;-)
Unrelated to your copy, but you probably want to center your background image and set your background color to black, because above 1280x1024 it looks broken (I'm at 1680x1050).