This resonates with my own experience: "Although most people look forward to vacations and days off, most successful people I know dread them."—working more hours was a socially acceptable route to not dealing with my own sh*t.
One word I am surprised the author did not use in this article is patience. Successful people are used to being in a hurry. It takes practice to have patience with yourself, and patience with others.<p>Another problem that I struggle with, and I'm sure "successful" people do as well, is chronic pain. Sometimes it's just bad luck, or an old injury; or maybe you have sacrificed your health to get more work done (in the short term). Many long-term problems are invisible; you never know who is struggling on the inside.
I don't claim to be super-successful, but these are things I've thought about quite a bit. Some people are good at being happy. Even when their situation is objectively lousy, they still find humor and love and fulfillment and so on. Other people just <i>aren't good at being happy</i>. Can't relax. Can't take a compliment. Can't enjoy when things are going well, without worrying about when it will end.<p>The thing a lot of these have in common is <i>being in the moment</i> vs. looking forward. Absolutely nothing wrong with looking forward, it's how we all progress and ensure future good times, but you also have to be able to turn it off (which is another item on OP's list). Learning how to shut up those internal voices for a while can be hard, but it's worth the effort.
8. Don't overtly screw people on the way up.<p>Most 'wealthy & successful' people I have known screwed people and never learned how to not do that and ended up paranoid about everyone since they don't know who they screwed.
It could be Asian thing (I'm Asian), but there's a saying, "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure hell better crying inside my BMW than crying outside by the street."
A lot of these seem tied to narcissism in some way. Not that it’s a bad thing but there are a lot of secondary effects of prioritizing ones “success” over all other things like relationships, friendships, mental health, etc.
If you aren't happy, you aren't successful. Far too many (like the author of this article) equate economic wealth with "success". How can someone who is miserable be described as a "success" no matter how many baubles they collect or how many accolades they receive from their fellow bauble collectors?<p>To me being successful means being content and leading a happy and rich life. Economic well-being often helps facilitate contentment and happiness through the security it allows, but it is, at best, a piece of the pie. Unfortunately all too many (especially Americans) have been conditioned to believe that life is a game of Monopoly and the goal is to accrue as much material wealth as possible. This leads to the oft-referred to, "mid-life crisis" when people start coming to terms with their mortality and realize they've wasted the best decades of their life pushing pencils and sitting in traffic. Perhaps if we start changing the way we view "success" we can help some poor souls avoid this awful day of reckoning in the future.
- A successful life often feels like day-to-day failure. Failure to reach ambitious goals, but 90% of the goal is often good enough.<p>- Dedicating one’s life to work is often a form of suicide. « SINCE my life is void and I won’t do anything tonight, why not study this book, apply for an MBA or build a company. At least that will be some challenge. It’s not like I’m losing family time, and it will help me focus on one thing. »<p>I’ll leave people to decide whether this is good or bad, but if most people’s lives were fulfilling, we wouldn’t see that much technological progress.<p>I’m not denying a good share of people are into tech or work by passion, I’m just talking about those who work as a mean to avoid depression.
> That it’s ok to let go of the image of the lonesome warrior, shouldering the world’s problems on their own.<p>This is the one thing that I've struggled with as an engineering leader. Much of this article is spot on, but the hardest thing for myself is simply asking for help. Part of it because I have learned how to learn anything, and I can just spend time doing what I need. However, there is only so much time in the day.<p>For some reason, I've always felt that asking for help was related to weakness, and it took a long time to realize that leadership is not knowing everything, but knowing how to teach people to play the game and ask good/dumb questions.
"Successful people" are those that come to the ocean shore, build a sand castle (indeed, what else is this sand for?), develop depression protecting it from wind, water and sun, and even force other tourists to build the castle for them. And they die wondering why the ocean shore is such a cruel and pointless place. Their lives aren't worthless,though: at least they develop some will. The wise don't build castles, they just watch the ocean and think about the relationship between sand, water, wind and sun.
I feel like the problem may be that we have a distorted view of "success" and what it means. Success is much more than a one-dimensional goal of earning more money. Are you really considered successful if that's all that you accomplished? Success itself encompasses many of the goals espoused in the article, such as having quality relationships and being able to take time for yourself. I think it's a perspective problem. You aren't successful just because you did well in your career. There's much more to it than that.
I think a lot of people in the US are taught from a young age to work hard and be the best you can be. Get into the best college, work hard to get the best job. Get promoted. Get promoted. Start your own firm. Work hard work hard, make money.<p>Often they never learn you are allowed to back off.
I think the very first exercise is a great one, and a challenge for many this year (including myself). "What am I grateful for that happened in the last 365 days?" A sense of gratitude is extremely healthy and remembering to acknowledge it is hard in the face of adversity.
One extreme: calm, content, happy, don't care about much, don't do much.<p>Other extreme: stressed, unsatisfied, unhappy, always working, getting lots done.<p>Maybe there is a middle way. A more nuanced definition of success.
Note money is nowhere on this list.... what's the point? Every "successful" person I know simply buys their way into a happier life. What a puff piece without acknowledging this!<p>Why is this shit even on HN? Is everyone here a rich, narcissistic douchebag? I mean we all suspected....