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The Need for Touch

134 pointsby okfineover 4 years ago

6 comments

nxc18over 4 years ago
I don&#x27;t know how common this is, but I was raised to see intimate touch as reserved exclusively for family and sexual&#x2F;romantic partners. There&#x27;s a pretty big mental block when it comes to touch, and I think that&#x27;s made my life materially worse. Do others experience that? I grew up in New England for context.<p>I&#x27;m somewhat fortunate that if I get particularly lonely or touch deprived, I can hop on grindr&#x2F;scruff&#x2F;hornet and resolve that situation pretty quickly in most cases. I hear the situation for single heterosexual men is significantly worse, but I&#x27;d like to hear others thoughts. Are there outlets for straight lonely people in need of touch?<p>Gay dating apps have a reputation for being very sex focused, but many of the profiles I see are specifically seeking out touch&#x2F;cuddling as a primary or even exclusive goal.
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Dumblydorrover 4 years ago
I don&#x27;t agree that touch is the most important sense. For me, vision and hearing both come out far ahead.<p>Where would I be without Chopin&#x27;s music, without the sound of my friends&#x27; instruments as we jam, without the loving voices of friends and family?<p>Where would I be without vision, I couldn&#x27;t see the works of Monet, Van Gogh, Miyazaki, Blizzard, Bethesda, or practically all code and screens and UI?<p>Touch feels nice, but as an American man, I was taught to touch only when necessary, lest the other person find it over the line. The OP author is an Italian female, so there&#x27;s a cultural abd gender difference no doubt. But personally, I don&#x27;t miss shaking hands or hugging, nevermind cheek kissing.
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worikover 4 years ago
In my world people are always hugging me.<p>It used to annoy me, but I am used to it now, in fact I like it - from people I like. I almost never initiate a hug except to my most intimate family members<p>I have had the bother of people being predatory sexually and touching me. Really annoying.<p>I am a straightish man in my fifties. In Aotearoa
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abdullahkhalidsover 4 years ago
In my country (Pakistan), hugging between men and hugging between women is extremely common. If n close friends are meeting, you will see Choose(n,2) hugs.<p>The lack of hugs was indeed the strangest part of my time in Canada. Why not show the love.
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nbzsoover 4 years ago
I love to simplify things. Designers curse, may be:) Some friendly advice for man seeking harmony with women long term: Relationship must be sexually compatible first, chemistry is the base, clear uncontrolled want reaction must come after touch and smell. This is good thing. Next is communication with humor, if you can compliment sexual compatibility with instinctive positive reaction you are a hitting the bingo. The big jackpot is a layer on top, of intellectual exchange and mutual motivation in exploring your minds. The big problem is that this trinity of compatibility is very rare, so if you can - stick with first two elements. Your future children will thank you from the bottom of their hearts. On a case of touch, I think that OP thesis is overblown. People are different, the issue of touch is complex and must be approached with caution. Just my 2c:)
orasisover 4 years ago
Guys, try Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It is non-sexual and will fill your well-being cup to the brim.