<i>I'm thinking in the back of my head: go figure out what you want, and then come back when I can actually be helpful. But what I tell her is this:<p>Sounds good. I'll let you know if I hear of anything.<p>And I won't. She won't pop into my head again.</i><p>I know you need to let people figure out their lives on their own, but if nobody is blunt with this person what chance does she have of moving past this? Shouldn't he just have said what he was thinking in the back of his head?
I think the real answer here is to stand out. She's spectacular, but doesn't market herself well because she's good at everything and doesn't give him an easy hook.<p>There's something weird about this situation, though. Why is she asking him for job referrals when he obvious doesn't know anything personal about her? He doesn't know anything that she likes or dislikes... This might as well be their first meeting. (And might have been!) Sounds more like a recruiter than a friend.<p>But it's not a recruiter, because a recruiter would just submit her to anything that even slightly matches... Which for her is everything.<p>So while I think the advice is good and on-target, I think there's a pretty small window of usability.
If you run a business, the same point (clarity of focus) is specifically applicable for receiving client referrals as well. I'm in a fairly broad industry (business coaching) and I have colleagues who, variously, work with businesses from solopreneurs to listed multi-nationals, across countless industries, 27 countries (and counting), and on projects that range from cashflow management to cultural purpose and intent. I can, and have, helped businesses with all of that myself.<p>But if I asked you for a referral and told you I was looking for a business of any size in any industry in any country that needed any guidance, how many would come to mind? Zero, or at least none that you felt were specific enough to refer to me. In fact, you probably wouldn't refer to me because it sounds like I'm saying I can do everything and that's probably (and actually) not true.<p>Alternatively: "I am looking for young, energetic business owners in London, turning over £2M-£20M per annum and looking to grow by learning from someone else's experience".<p>How many come to mind now? Probably still none, especially if you're not in London. But for the people who can make the right referral for me, the specific definition of my ideal client makes it easier to understand who I want an introduction to, and for them to make that introduction.<p>So whether for a job or your next client, I whole-heartedly agree that knowing what you ideally want and being able to articulate that will lead to results.
> Maybe if someone in the next 2 days randomly asks me if I know anyone in online marketing looking to make a jump.<p>My agency is looking for a talented strategist who has the flexibility to work on a number of different accounts across industries. Feel free to pass along my info (in profile).
I watched the Steve Jobs 1997 Keynote chat this week and he again defined focus, which the subject in that post is lacking. Jobs (paraphrasing): "People think focusing means saying 'Yes.' No. Focus means saying 'No.'"
I call BS. If she's asking for help, help. Figure out a way to help. I'm the same way. I'm industry agnostic and have worked in both large and small companies. When I talk to recruiters or friends looking for intros the ones that sit and talk to me for more than 2 minutes get a good idea what the types of projects I'm looking for.<p>By limiting myself to a certain industry (finance for example) I might miss out on a completely perfect project in BioTech or something. If I say 'small' companies, something in a big company might be skipped over because of it.<p>OP should have asked more question to find out what 'type' of work she likes and gone from there instead of dismissing her as unfocused or hasn't figured out what she wants.
This reminds me of the classic "What Color is Your Parachute?" which I cheerfully recommend to all. One-sentence summary: You have to have a particular goal in order to achieve it, and boldness and politeness are of the utmost importance along the way.
IMHO: don't see no problem or valuable advice in the post above. If you are really interested in helping person, you will explain the need for specifics. If not, you'll give an answer you gave.<p>Move on, nothing to see here.