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Ask HN: What is your strategy for not being manipulated/pushover at workplace?

13 pointsby ElectricMindabout 4 years ago
Look I want to go to work code, do shit assigned to me, get paid in return. That&#x27;s it. I know &quot;48 laws of power&quot; but I don&#x27;t have time for office politics and manipulating people or kiss someone ass or competition to nailed a new college student that boss hired. I do not want to play dirty or play any office game. I want to put in my best effort then I am done.<p>However, I am no pushover either. I am all for tit for tat. I don&#x27;t manipulate you but you don&#x27;t manipulate me or take advantage of me. I am fair by default as long as I am treated fairly. This is the general gist of my approach to the workplace. Not sure this is best. If you are anything like me..<p>Do you have any experience in this matter of manipulation at the workplace? What did you learn hard way? What is your defense system now?

10 comments

hitsurumeabout 4 years ago
The hardest thing about finding a great job is finding a great boss. A great boss is someone who respects your work, your boundaries, and who understands your strengths and weaknesses. A great boss&#x2F;manager will do their very best to prevent the politics and bureaucracy and let you focus on what you want to do, which is great work. I don&#x27;t have any advice on how to find a great boss&#x2F;manager, but they are unfortunately hard to come by in my experience.
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kwdcabout 4 years ago
Its dangerous to be alone. Predators can sense the abandoned, lonely or just plain isolated. Strengthen social connections every chance you get. Both inside and outside every sphere not just work or home. Its like learning to fight and then never needing to. Predators can still detect you can fight usually without any effort from you. This makes you less of a pushover in general. Its a mindset.<p>Nip issues in the bud. Otherwise they just grow. Often they multiply. Escalate to authority figures where they exist.
emrahabout 4 years ago
As long as there are 2+ people involved, it doesn&#x27;t seem possible to stay away from some kind of politics.<p>How you deal with problems depends on how bad it is. If it&#x27;s really bad, you&#x27;ll probably have no choice but leave. With the caveat that there is no ideal place out there, you can always try starting your own.<p>Otherwise, the best strategy I think is to let your skills speak for themselves, get things done and be so good (or good enough) that they can&#x27;t ignore you. They don&#x27;t have to you like you but they should respect you for getting things done and being invaluable.<p>And then there is always the option of talking to your manager or HR if the problem is serious enough. HR isn&#x27;t necessarily your friend but it&#x27;s in their best interest to keep good people to protect the company so they should be able to help in case of serious faul play.
muzaniabout 4 years ago
If someone is deceptive, don&#x27;t believe them next time. Someone who lies for you will also lie to you.<p>Be generous to everyone except the manipulative. It&#x27;s a little &quot;manipulative&quot; because the generous ones will give you more than you gave them. But it also identifies the impostors.<p>Manipulative people are often lazy, so make it painful for them.<p>Put up a fight if you&#x27;re in a bad spot. Treat it as a war, with an actual battle plan and allocate resources to win. End it quick.<p>Don&#x27;t hold grudges. You can become friends with former enemies. But bear in mind that a dishonest person will stay dishonest, even if you marry them.<p>If the situation is too bad, change your environment. Plenty of companies, especially in tech, who are happy to treat you well and want to see you happy.
Reebzabout 4 years ago
Read or audible How to win friends and influence people by Carnegie. That’s it. Just get along with folks. Consider this reinforcing loop: The stronger relationships you build the less attempts there will be to push you over, and with more relationships you will have more support in the event that it occurs, which in turn fuels your confidence in all matters when you may be alone at time of the event.<p>Context: my career went dev (not long) to consulting to product (most time) to executive management (current).
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Buttons840about 4 years ago
&gt; I want to put in my best effort then I am done.<p>Your best effort at what? A few years ago if I had said that I would mean I want to do my best at imposing my idea of good code and products on the company. I&#x27;ve recently given up the fight and now give &quot;my best effort&quot; towards being pleasant to work with, helping others, <i>kissing ass, doing bullshit</i>, and almost never working overtime and standing up for myself when it&#x27;s time to go home. I&#x27;m happier now.<p>And what I used to consider kissing ass or doing bullshit I now consider to be selling myself to the people who pay me and just doing the work they pay me to do.<p>I do still push for changes I think would be good, but much less aggressively.
adingusabout 4 years ago
I have a fat emergency fund and live below my means. This gives me the confidence to be sure I can find another job if required.
mbrodersenabout 4 years ago
Live below your means and make sure you always have enough savings to be able to find a better job. It gives you the power to stand up for yourself if necessary
kleer001about 4 years ago
My defence is to work at a small place. That its self is not a magic bullet. It had to be around for a long time. Also, I was invited in (an old coworker got me an interview) So it&#x27;s not like I ran through a bunch of businesses to eliminate to the best.
giantg2about 4 years ago
I feel pretty similar.<p>I have no advice for you. I&#x27;m 9 years in with a masters and I&#x27;m only a midlevel developer with no future.
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