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Ask HN: What habits have you managed to change?

51 pointsby omosubialmost 4 years ago
What habits have you managed to introduce or get rid of, particularly if you are over 30 years old?

28 comments

basqalmost 4 years ago
Gave up: - alcohol - marijuana - ecstacy - coke - amphetamines - cigarettes and vaping - all animal products (meat, leather, etc) - gluten - videogames - porn - social media except reddit&#x2F;hn - working<p>Started: - lifting weights (sent on for two years before stopping due to covid gym closures) - running - reading recreationally (discovered I really enjoy sci fi), prior to that only read learning material like textbooks and documentation.<p>The list goes on. I am in a constant state of reinvention. Deep down I am also miserable and always have been, hence the self medication, the constant quitting, and being in a seemingly permanent exploratory phase. I&#x27;m in my 30&#x27;s and thought things would have made more sense by now. I can only superficially relate to others, even conversations with my &#x27;best friends&#x27; are basically just small talk. I thought I was depressed but despite repeated visits to mental health professionals, none have been able to help: sessions amount to them just nodding and go &#x27;wow... Well guess we&#x27;ll see how you feel next visit&#x27; untiI I eventually stop going.<p>Sorry if my post seems negative, the previous paragraph just sort of... emerged as I was reflecting on the things I&#x27;ve quit over the last few years.
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notjustanymikealmost 4 years ago
Arguing to win.<p>I read &quot;Crucial Conversations&quot; around the time I turned 35 and it changed how I manage conflict in my relationships. These days I always first try and understand why someone is upset (pro-tip: it&#x27;s frequently not what they lead with).
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kowloalmost 4 years ago
I stopped overdelivering.<p>It just meant they expected even more, and being a cog in a giant machine meant my contributions were averaged out by those who did the bare minimum (or worse).<p>It was easy once I became disillusioned with my area of work...<p>I&#x27;m in some intermediate state right now.
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forgotmypw17almost 4 years ago
I reprogrammed myself to no longer be annoyed. Here is how:<p>I started by learning how to do breath meditation. It is a basic attention exercise when I put all my attention into my breathing, in the belly or at the nostrils, the same way I pay attention to where paintbrush touches the paper.<p>I then committed myself to immediately start breath meditation whenever I found myself annoyed. I practiced primarily in three areas: loud and high-pitched noises, waiting for something, and work meetings. Anytime it happened, I would, internally, go into putting my attention to my breath.<p>After a while, I noticed that my &quot;catch&quot; would happen sooner. When I was first starting out, it would happen when I was already full-on feeling annoyed. But then I started catching myself when I was &quot;beginning to get annoyed&quot;, and then when &quot;about to begin getting annoyed&quot;.<p>Eventually, my emotional response to these annoying events, which I now believe to be largely learned, has become unwired, and I no longer experience that feeling, emotional state, and all the debilitating consequences.<p>Sure, it still happens now and then. And I&#x27;m still bothered by noises which are too loud-- I wear ear plugs often. But overall, this has been a huge deal in terms of changing my &quot;quality of experience&quot; day-to-day.
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leed25dalmost 4 years ago
I quit drinking 24 years ago in 1997. I haven&#x27;t had a drop since 19MAR1997, I was 50 years old at the time.
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bigwavedavealmost 4 years ago
Exercising. I&#x27;d exercise to an unhealthy degree, eat an unholy amount of food each day (to &quot;get my calories in&quot;), and constantly take my measurements. The problem was that my mind didn&#x27;t recognize any of the positive results I was killing myself for; the more I worked out, the fewer results my mental filter let me see. It got to the point that I would actively avoid looking at reflective surfaces as much as possible because of the knowledge that I&#x27;d look even worse in my mind&#x27;s eye the next time I saw myself. It was not a good rabbit hole to get stuck in. I eventually sought help and with therapy and a support system, I was able to let go of most of the compulsion.<p>Now when I exercise, it&#x27;s to be healthy, not to chase some dream of &quot;perfection&quot; that my mind wouldn&#x27;t be able to recognize even if I managed to reach it.<p>Now when I eat, it&#x27;s because I enjoy the experience, not because I&#x27;m trying to cram 5,000 calories down my throat in a day.<p>Now when I look in the mirror, it&#x27;s to make sure my clothes match, not because I&#x27;m focusing on all the &quot;progress&quot; I haven&#x27;t made.<p>Might not sound like a big deal, and to most people it probably isn&#x27;t, but it changed my life completely.
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nine_zerosalmost 4 years ago
Stopped listening to micromanagers or incompetent managers. This resulted in better quality and quantity of delivery.<p>Let it be known that a truly good manager accepts when they were wrong and promotes despite differences, whereas a micromanager is insecure about something in their own job resulting in pushing their bad decisions down.<p>Sure, it will cause friction and will affect your career but your career is busted anyway because a micromanager will never acknowledge that they were wrong. Following their prescribed path only reinforces their large egos.<p>At least you can sleep well at night knowing that you did your job with integrity.
qorrectalmost 4 years ago
I stopped smoking at 36. I stopped drinking at 39. This year at 41 I&#x27;m determined to get in shape.<p>Age sneaks up on you, I am really not prepared for getting old. The upside is you naturally start to care less as you get older.
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johnkpaulalmost 4 years ago
At 31, I completely cut sucrose, lactose and almost all carbohydrates out of my life.<p>Took someone telling me to think of carbohydrates like heroin before I realized that the strong desire I have not to become painted as a drug addict could be reframed as a reason for me to give up carbohydrate consumption
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chad_strategicalmost 4 years ago
3 years ago I stopped swearing. (There are about maybe 5 times a year I use bad language) But on the whole I don&#x27;t swear. This was tough because I&#x27;m a retired Marine.<p>This year I started Meatless Mondays.
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wly_cdgralmost 4 years ago
Quit drinking (at 34, am alcoholic) Quit smoking (at 33, smoked pack a day for 10+ years) Started exercising regularly in my mid-thirties &amp; consistently get 5+ hours of moderate exercise a week now (am 40) Picked up a piano practicing habit a year ago, just 10 or 15 minutes a day but I have multiple 50-day streaks of it now
wpietrialmost 4 years ago
I think the biggest one for me was sleep habits. I used to be a confirmed night owl with a wacky sleep schedule. Eventually I realized that this was messing up my moods, so I switched to be a morning person with a pretty regular sleep schedule.<p>It took a lot of small changes, but a key for me was careful regulation of light. I started with a light-based alarm clock, which was useful. These days I have automated lights that dim in the evening and come up in the morning. It turns out I&#x27;m just not a responsible lightswitch user; if I leave manual lights on I&#x27;ll stay up way later and then feel bad the next day. In retrospect, I felt bad a lot, but it was my baseline so I just rolled with it.<p>These days I&#x27;m more even-tempered, more energetic, more productive. I&#x27;ll still enjoy an occasional very late night, but I&#x27;m always careful to return to my usual sleep schedule as soon as possible.
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aehardingalmost 4 years ago
Driving! I&#x27;ve managed to convert ~95% of my trips to my ecargo bike for the past couple years.
savanalyalmost 4 years ago
I have been getting up at 6 am this summer (compared to 8-9 before this summer). It&#x27;s because I moved into a new house that the bedroom has this window high up with no blinds (and since it&#x27;s high up it would be a pain to install blinds into it). And the sun shines in around 5-6 really bright through that window and wakes me up naturally (presumably at the bottom of one of those sleep cycles where you should wake up to feel refreshed).<p>I get up and start work immediately (work from home) and get in 3-4 hours of focus time before meetings start and it&#x27;s made me a lot more productive. The morning momentum also carries over to the rest of the day and I get more done then too. I would recommend such a window to everyone although unfortunately it&#x27;s not possible for most. When the winter comes I&#x27;m afraid the sun coming up later will make me get up later and may invest in some sort of timed light in my room to slowly turn on at the time I want to get up.
cpachalmost 4 years ago
I’ve stopped drinking Red Bull&#x2F;Powerking. I used to drink two cans per day (66 cl), plus coffee. It wasn’t reasonable. I took a week off from work and paused all caffeine (including tea) for ten days. I made sure to have people around me the whole time, so that they would hold me accountable.<p>It worked. I haven’t touched Red Bull for over a month. I drink coffee again, but with more moderation.
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SvenLalmost 4 years ago
Most of the things I did were already mentioned, except one: I don’t care anymore what other people think about me. I always did things I thought I was supposed to do, because otherwise somebody might think something bad about me. Things like crying in public, laughing about stupid childish things etc. I don’t care anymore what other people think, I just do what I want to do.
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radicalriddleralmost 4 years ago
Making my bed. I never made my bed as an early adult or teenager. Started doing it one day, and thought, holy shit, this is the best thing ever, having the same bed every night. Now I always make my bed at night (yeah I know, means it&#x27;s messy all day, but then at least it can breathe), right before I shower.
CodeWriter23almost 4 years ago
Stopped using all drugs and alcohol over 25 years ago. At the time, it was one of the most difficult things I did in my life. The knock-on effects of doing that, combined with practicing a 12-Step Program (as an Atheist) has had a profound effect in innumerable aspects of my life.
runawaybottlealmost 4 years ago
I let go of my insecurity of being a ‘real developer’. I got over it. I do my work, and if I feel the urge to build something on my spare time, I do it. I no longer make it a mainstay of my identity (real developers do this, etc).<p>I think it’s made me more pragmatic.
srswtf123almost 4 years ago
Thus far, I&#x27;ve given up:<p>- cigarettes - cocaine - caffeine<p>Each of these was a particularly nasty habit to get rid of, but they&#x27;re gone and its been years since I&#x27;ve been near any of them. I&#x27;m better for it.<p>I&#x27;m actively trying to cultivate a walking habit, but it&#x27;s hard to make it stick.
ecesenaalmost 4 years ago
For exercise, I started running 1mi&#x2F;day almost 4y ago now. Having a clear tracking helps me with consistency and pushing when I&#x27;m behind.<p>For coffee and wine I&#x27;m certainly on the &quot;addicted&quot; spectrum if you were to measure. From time to time I test staying without one or the other for a month or so (for coffee for example I used the &quot;excuse&quot; of whitening my teeth), but tbh I&#x27;ve never seen any of the acclaimed benefits of reducing consumption. So I enjoy them.<p>Working on my communication style. If&#x2F;when I crack the code, I&#x27;ll be happy to share.
Zachsa999almost 4 years ago
Video games.<p>No shit on people that play video games. It was consuming my life, so I cut it out.
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chaircheralmost 4 years ago
Caffiene. I used to be one of these people whose personalities were all about how much coffee they drank and then suddenly I discovered my life was at risk if I didn&#x27;t urgently cut it out and bam. That was that. Had success cutting out other habits echoing a lot of the other commenters (eg arguing, overdelivering, accepting advice from people who don&#x27;t know what they&#x27;re talking about) and I&#x27;ve cut out other habits&#x2F;addictions cold turkey eg drugs but the caffiene one was the one that felt the most ruthless
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greenie_beansalmost 4 years ago
Quit nicotine! I had been consuming a can of dip a day since my teens, and towards the end was smoking half a pack of cigs &#x2F; day, as well. Was a great lesson in delayed gratification in my mid 20s. I call it a keystone habit, because my life and my mental health got 10x better.
Jtsummersalmost 4 years ago
Exercising. In my 20s I barely exercised, certainly not reliably for any extended period. The longest stretch was while I had a roommate who was a former Marine, about 6 months. The man was a beast and I felt like a slug when I realized I&#x27;d played a video game for a few hours while he&#x27;d been out weightlifting and then running 5-10 miles. And that was his second workout of the day.<p>At 31 I&#x27;d gotten to 220lbs which, on my frame and at my activity level, meant obese. So I started walking a 5k trail near the office 3x a week. After a couple months I started jogging it (C25k style but not the actual C25k plan). By that point being out there was just routine, so why not run it? That was 8 years ago, and other than some stretches of time where I was recovering from an injury (so far only one caused by exercising, an impinged shoulder, the rest were caused by other things like car accidents) I&#x27;ve been a reliable exerciser and runner since.<p>A habit I broke was video games. I&#x27;d play games until 2-4am and then be exhausted the next day. In retrospect, they were a way of keeping my mind occupied while I was suffering from severe depression so I wasn&#x27;t really alone with my thoughts. Then they became a routine or habit even after I&#x27;d recovered from depression, but were still negatively impacting my life because I was still putting in the crazy long hours. Mostly I substituted other activities like running or exercising generally, reading, spending time with friends socially, or more productive uses of the computer like programming. Exercising actually helped a lot because I was simply too tired most days to even consider staying up late playing a video game, even if I was enjoying it I had to turn it off and sleep because I was dozing off.<p>In this case, it was mostly the realization and acknowledgement that the video games were consuming too much of my time (and health) that led to a rather rapid change in habit. The various time fillers changed over the years, but I dropped video games practically overnight.<p>--------<p>EDIT to add<p>Journaling. I&#x27;ve tried a few times, and largely failed. I&#x27;ve found it helpful especially for dealing with stressful periods or depressive episodes. Just expressing my thoughts on paper gets them out of my head and the &quot;dwelling&quot; stops or is reduced which reduces my overall anxiety level or elevates my depressed mood a bit. But, like many people&#x27;s efforts at dieting, I only did this for a period when I needed it and then stopped. When my mood worsened it &quot;snuck up on me&quot; and I&#x27;d have to rebuild these helpful routines.<p>I, recently, started journaling with a 5-year journal that only offers 5 or 6 lines per day. It&#x27;s more of a log, but this also makes it easier to keep up with. I don&#x27;t want a blank entry (at worst I fill it in a day late). This makes keeping a long form journal somewhat easier to maintain since it doesn&#x27;t need to be daily or some other regular period, it can be weekly or even monthly, or following a major event (something deeply impactful to my life or my friends or family for instance).
pryelluwalmost 4 years ago
No longer eat sugar. Big improvement in day to day.
HardwareLustalmost 4 years ago
After many years, I now drink water when I first wake up instead of coffee. Baby steps!
truth_almost 4 years ago
1. Correct my posture while not outside. For the most parts of my life, I had really bad posture. I would study on bed, code ln bed, and watch movies on bed. Half lying, fully lying, straining my whole upper body. Since two years, I always sit on chairs. I only sleep on bed, and that&#x27;s it.<p>2. I used to brush my teeth once a day. Now I brush my teeth after every meal.<p>3. Exercising everyday. I now spend anywhere between 10 minutes to 90 every day for exercising.<p>4. Social media. I was a victim of doomscroll. And I identified that it was more of a symptom than a cause, but it is also a cause in itself. If you want to avoid doing something, if you go for a walk, or read something, sooner or later you&#x27;d get back to it. Here&#x27;s where peer-to-peer media is exceptional. There is no end of content. And procrastination takes up most of your day. I limited social media use to 30 inutes a day. The same time everyday. I don&#x27;t pull up my phone even wjen standing in queue, or while cooking. Much better time management and concentration.<p>5. For five hours or so have been drinking water immediately after I wake up.<p>6. Made myself able to think objectively, see nuance and be empathetic. I was very jidgemental before.<p>Point 4 credit goes to Cal Newport. He is the only self-help writer I can marginally tolerate. I did not read Atomic Habits or Power of Habits.<p>I realized that one of the best ways to form new habits ws was to hook new habits to already existing habits. This is nowadays called &quot;habit association&quot;.<p>Make no mistake that I am only partially successful. I have failed in forming a lot of habits. I sm only sharing the good parts.
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