Interestingly, I've found these percentages seem to hold true in a variety of other social situations as well. Online dating, for instance - I find I get responses to about 30% of initial messages, but 2/3 of those are just being polite and never strike up a conversation, so I end up with RL dates with about 10% of initial prospects. Haven't met one yet that I felt a real connection to, but I've only been on 8 dates so far, so 1% would imply I've got a few to go.<p>Or college. I figure I knew (had some interaction with, could name & recognize by sight) perhaps 300 people at my college. Maybe 30 of them I'd call "friends" - I could sit down with them at the dining hall without feeling awkward and chit-chat about classes or hobbies or interests or society and politics. Only about 2 or 3 of them did I really feel close enough to to stay in touch with them after college, once our common interests had ended.
For the real world, focus on the Three C's:<p>"Conversation-friendliness: Your main tool of contact and communication is your voice. So ask yourself whether a particular venue is suitable for carrying on a conversation. Quieter places are generally better. Loud clubs and bars generally are not, but sometimes their quieter patios or balconies can work. Bookstores and coffee shops are much better.<p>Community: There is pre-existing rapport when some common thread of interest connects a group together. The more specific the thread and the greater effort people have made to come to the venue, the stronger the rapport, and the easier time you will have making contact. Talking to people watching a game at a bar is likely to be a fleeting interaction, whereas the people you meet at a conference in Buenos Aires on emperor penguins may become lifelong friends.<p>Continuity: Stationary people are easier to meet than those in motion. The longer people tend to stay at a given venue, the easier it is to meet them. Continuity can also develop over longer periods of time. There is built-in familiarity with someone whom you see three times a week at the gym which makes it easier to meet her."<p><a href="http://taoofdating.com/sample1.php" rel="nofollow">http://taoofdating.com/sample1.php</a>
I would suggest you really learn to know some real people. And "really" really means "real life". There are things about communcation (non-verbal for example) that you can not have over the internet. Also a relationship will never reach the depth of a comparable real life relationship, if you never see the other person.<p>From that post it is pretty clear that you have nearly no experience with human beings (who consider writing to 400 people for no real reason creepy and call one-month-old-relationships not friendship) and also don't like to have. That itself is okay from my point of view. But it also means that you can not do anything connection related. You are just not the type of person for that. Don't take it too personal. I myself am not the want-to-know-everybody type. That's why I can easily recognise someone who has the same illusions I had when I was younger (and to some degree probably still have).<p>Another tip I want to give you just to help you not "burn your hands": If you make one relationship in 1 or 2 years that you can really call a friendship, then you are more successful in that job then most people! Your count at the moment is not 50, it is zero. You don't know how people are different if you really learn to know them, how many people are nice to you for a short term, but actually don't care about you and also how many people are out there who want to gain from your disadvantage. Be careful, please.
This got me thinking. One thing which applies in the real world but not online is PROXIMITY.<p>Most of the time when you live with someone, work with someone, or just spend a lot of time around someone, you are MUCH more likely to become friends that you otherwise would.<p>I have not found this to be true online. Just because you spend a lot of time in a particular forum doesnt mean you are more likely to develop friendships with those people- only the people who match your viewpoints etc.<p>Then again I wouldnt say Ive ever formed anything coming close to a "close friendship" with anyone I solely interact with online, so I'd be curious to know what others think about this.
Guess it depends on your definition of 'friend' then, because by my standards, that would have been '4 friends' and not '50 friends'. '50 acquaintances' now, that I'd agree with.<p>That isn't to say this isn't a valuable tactic. Making 4 good friends is nothing to scoff at.