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Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

1193 pointsby Jaruzelover 3 years ago
Hi, my Christmas is solitary this year, no family or friends. I'm not even having a Christmas dinner. I'm not sad about this, though. It's just the way it is. What I wanted to say is, if you are in the same situation, you are not alone. So have a virtual hug from me.

111 comments

abzugover 3 years ago
Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health.<p>Feeling that I&#x27;m not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else.<p>I&#x27;m still alive, so there&#x27;s that.
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i13eover 3 years ago
Thank you for this post, I spent the majority of Christmas &#x27;19 and &#x27;20 alone and it was in the middle of a very challenging time of my life. I&#x27;m very young and grateful for the friends and others that included me in their holiday celebrations, and having time alone to reflect and come to the realization that Christmas doesn&#x27;t come from having family to share it with.<p>While most traditional Christmas stories and many people focus on celebrating children, love and family, material goods, etc it&#x27;s also about looking on the bright side of life, counting your blessings, and carrying on traditions. A happy Christmas is a choice, and my advice to all who are alone today is this: Build your own traditions, buy yourself something and wrap it up nice, decorate a tree, make gingerbread houses, or cook a meal you really like, whatever appeals to you.<p>I&#x27;ll leave you with the last line from <i>How the Grinch Stole Christmas</i> and a link to an <i>In Our Time</i> episode about (<i>A Christmas Carol</i>)[<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.bbc.co.uk&#x2F;programmes&#x2F;m0012fl5" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.bbc.co.uk&#x2F;programmes&#x2F;m0012fl5</a>]:<p>&quot;Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Who&#x27;s far and near Christmas day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas day will always be, just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand.&quot;
brncskover 3 years ago
This year, after a tumultuous breakup (that quite literally plunged me into my deepest crisis to day), I’m practicing being alone. Mostly because what lead to said breakup in the first place, was me being a relationship-addict, which at this point in my self-awareness journey I understand to be a transgenerational issue. Thus being with family does not help at all (even though I did my fair share of being with them yesterday). As opposed to OP, I’m less than happy about the whole thing understandably.<p>What helps is hiking, I guess, trying to get a grip on whether doing it alone or with others helps more.<p>I guess this is close to being rock bottom for me at this point, hope you guys feel at least a tiny bit ok.
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wyclifover 3 years ago
There was a Category 5 Typhoon in in the Philippines where I am last week. The power was out and there was no electricity, refrigeration, or internet for a week. One of the transformers in my neibourhood blew out and got destroyed, and at 6pm on Christmas Eve they replaced it and we finally had power! I&#x27;m a software developer with a wife and two kids and we have a lot to be thankful for. We survided COVID-19 and a Category 5 hurricane.
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trevorishereover 3 years ago
This Christmas is significantly different for me. Normally it would be filled with friends and family, but not this year.<p>I succeeded in hiking &gt;10 miles yesterday and today, legs willing, I&#x27;ll be at least spending part of the day in the PacNW forests to keep the depression at bay.<p>&lt;3<p>JWST was my Christmas present. I&#x27;m happy to see we&#x27;ve got final separation and the last view of the telescope. If anything, it&#x27;s the best thing I could ask for today.
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podgajover 3 years ago
Yes I am. I am alone.<p>I am disabled, and homeless living in my van. I have a family history of mental illness and even they abandoned me. My friends, I get it, they just did not understand what happened to me. I make $1600 on disability but I still cannot find housing. Even when people<p>I love your sentiment but virtual hugs do not do it for me, nor for most people in my position.<p>What do we need? An understanding of Mental Illness stigma, housing for the 60% of us homeless who have a serious mood disorder, lower cost housing for the disabled. All of these would give me stability and a community again where I can feel like I am part of something instead of being an outsider.<p>There have been great people that helped me, and I hold no regrets because it reduces the stress and that helps me deal with my mental illness, but all the suffering comes right back, because here I am, alone again, in my van, in a vacant public park, on Christmas morning.<p>You want to really hug me? Start a revolution.
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vuciv1over 3 years ago
Hey. Thanks for doing this. Most of my Christmases have been alone. No relationship with my parents.<p>But for the first time this year, I reached out to spend Christmas with my bestfriend and his family. Its a lot of fun.<p>I also met the love of my life, and although she&#x27;s traveling with her family right now, we are getting engaged soon and she reassures me ill never have to spend a Christmas alone.<p>I never thought I&#x27;d spend a Christmas with loved ones in my life, so if you are feeling alone, just know that it could change.<p>Much love, and merry christmas
ecornflakover 3 years ago
My mum died in January and my Dad died a couple of weeks ago. We didn’t do much for Christmas as a family but I keep thinking of the interesting things to tell my Dad about that he’s not around to tell.<p>He’d almost certainly be watching the James Webb Telescope launch
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xkbarkarover 3 years ago
I spent christmas alone in a hotel. It was my choice over meeting family who wanted masks, rapid tests etc before meeting for christmas. I have followed every single piece of mandate for two years. Including double dose Moderna that I still have ptsd from. I am done, I had ribs a glass of cognac and witcher marathon alone in a 4 star hotel instead. Best christmas in a long time. Happy holidays to all and wish a wonderful 2022 to all of you.
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mancerayderover 3 years ago
We live in a time that, even before covid, there are a record number of single people in their 30&#x27;s and 40&#x27;s (in the U.S. and some Western European countries I am assuming as well), and to go one step further, a record number with no interest in having kids (or some fear that&#x27;s keeping them). [1]<p>We live in a different times. Many are alone.<p>1. <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.psychologytoday.com&#x2F;us&#x2F;blog&#x2F;living-single&#x2F;202009&#x2F;record-number-americans-have-never-married-and-never-will" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.psychologytoday.com&#x2F;us&#x2F;blog&#x2F;living-single&#x2F;202009...</a>
tekkkover 3 years ago
The worse side about these things is that you can&#x27;t vent out your sadness or general feelings to anyone. Which is I think what people really need. Not a huge host of siblings and friends but just emotional closure to have your feelings validated and accepted. It&#x27;s okay to feel sad, it&#x27;s okay to not to feel sad.<p>It&#x27;s hard to do so without being really close with someone but I wish all could have speck of shared empathy from this thread. We are not just boxes of text but real people around the world who all have their share of good and bad. Pushing away feelings does work and you get lot of things done doing so. But I don&#x27;t recommend doing so in the long run - the re-prioritization can be quite shock once you notice all the stuff don&#x27;t bring you that much joy.
axegon_over 3 years ago
Don&#x27;t sweat it. I generally ignore holidays: I don&#x27;t care about them. I spent this Christian with my parents largely because they insisted. I think with age I start carrying less and less about holidays. When I was 20, spending say new years alone sounded like a nightmare. At 32 last new year, I spent it on the couch with my dog watching movies and building a huge ass Lego set and to be completely honest it was probably my best new years eve.
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zoomablemindover 3 years ago
Thank you for the hug! I hug you too.<p>We are all cave-people still, living now in our little caves, using tools that still require a lot of grinding to make and to use (mental mostly), still afraid of monsters and winters.<p>We are still mesmerized by lightnings, storms, stars, and everything that happens above and inside us. We&#x27;re curious about world and life around, scribble things on our walls, we sleep a lot, and dream!<p>Ones in San Diego, CA, I saw a bunch of seals laying on nice stinky rocks, chatting about something with each other. Some younger pup was trying to crawl on other seal&#x27;s head (just for fun of it, probably). So another bigger seal literally hugged the pup with that flapper arm of theirs and kept on telling whatever story that was. It worked!<p>We hug, therefore we exist.
mindcrimeover 3 years ago
Same. I plan to sleep in today (haven&#x27;t even gone to bed yet, still up from the 24th). I finished up watching Doctor Who: Flux a little while ago, about to head to bed, and when I get up later today after sleeping for a while I&#x27;m just going to go fish for a bit, come back home, cook, and spend the rest of the day vegging out and watching Netflix, Prime, whatever, maybe do some reading, yadda yadda. My family all live a few hours away and I don&#x27;t feel like a road-trip, so this is just a little mini vacation (stay-cation) for me and some time to veg out, relax, and do whatever-the-fuck-I-want-with-no-obligations for a little while.<p>So yes, I&#x27;ll be spending most of my time alone, but that&#x27;s not necessarily a bad thing.<p>Anyway, have a &quot;Merry Christmas&quot;, or &quot;Happy Holidays&quot; or &quot;Happy Festivus&quot; or whatever holiday greeting you desire from me. And a virtual hug as well.
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seb_urban_planover 3 years ago
Please accept my warmest Christmas wishes - your message is very kind, and you have all my encouragement.<p>Lately I&#x27;ve been coming back to reading short citations from philosophers. What&#x27;s great is that you can chose any topic you like, and find quotes from all kinds of influential people on the topic (on one of the &quot;quotes&quot; cites, there are several) and see what the collective wisdom of civilizations has to propose - it&#x27;s like a conversation with the past, and has been part of the solution for me.<p>Most of all I would recommend reading Proverbs - consider it a toolbox to peruse - I think most anyone can find some &quot;missing piece&quot; there that can get one unstuck from whatever rut one might be in: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.biblegateway.com&#x2F;passage&#x2F;?search=proverbs+1&amp;version=NIV" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.biblegateway.com&#x2F;passage&#x2F;?search=proverbs+1&amp;vers...</a><p>Finally, if you feel up to it at some point, I would encourage you to seek out those who are also lonely - I&#x27;ve been doing music at retirement homes for a while now, and it&#x27;s very worthwhile - perhaps there are charities involved in alleviating loneliness in your area - visiting, talking, organizing events... there is lots of room for creativity and meeting generous people.<p>Best wishes, Sebastian.
iammjmover 3 years ago
This year I decided to finally stop participating in other people&#x27;s illusions. I was raised Catholic but stopped believing about 15 years ago. Still, each year I went through the motions. This year I thought: I don&#x27;t believe, I don&#x27;t care, so why bother? This feels quite liberating and I&#x27;m proud of myself
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kombineover 3 years ago
I&#x27;m an immigrant living in the UK by myself and it is not even in my homeland tradition to celebrate Christmas. So today will just be a regular Saturday for me!
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junonover 3 years ago
Seth Everman has a Christmas stream for exactly this this year. If you&#x27;re into gaming or music, he&#x27;s your guy. Super funny dude. <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=2UmnWZRiLVs" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=2UmnWZRiLVs</a><p>I&#x27;ll be there too :)
lottinover 3 years ago
Thank you. I just want to add that there&#x27;s nothing wrong about being alone. You can be happy, and you can have an interesting life, without having to be always in company of other people.
thorinover 3 years ago
Thanks! Last couple of years have been more lonely due to covid stuff. I&#x27;m only my own but picking up my kids tomorrow for a week. Enjoy your day, it&#x27;s just another day though! I&#x27;ll be doing some chores, going for a bike ride, then roasting something.
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treebotover 3 years ago
I am not spending Christmas alone, but sometimes I wish I was. The holidays are the toughest time of year for me, because they bring up bad memories from my childhood, and the darkness of winter amplifies it and makes me feel dead inside. Every year around the holidays I have at least one really bad breakdown, and I&#x27;m just way more vulnerable emotionally, so everything hurts so much more and for longer. The pain generally has to do with relationships with other people though, so being alone helps. I don&#x27;t know if it would be better to be totally alone, as OP is, but spending extensive amounts of time with family or a romantic partner is just terrible for me. Cheers OP, buy yourself a gift.
uniclaudeover 3 years ago
I vividly remember coding, moderating IRC channels and playing StarCraft while being alone on a Christmas night, lobbies were full of joy and wishes, games were fun, and I felt way less lonely than while spending time with people I didn’t really connect with.<p>Christmas is seen as a moment to be spent with people, but IMO this day is only what you make of it. It is not bad to want to be totally alone, or connected with online randoms!<p>There are many people in these virtual worlds that you probably share something with if you spend Christmas alone or are reading this message on Dec 25th. I’m glad HN exists.<p>And if you really want another experice, go east if you can afford it, and enjoy in places where Dec 24&#x2F;25th are just regular days.
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xwdvover 3 years ago
I have people but still feel alone. Every year is a brutal reminder that there will come a moment when you have finally met all the people that will ever love you, and the list only shrinks more and more every year. For me, it must have happened long ago.
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ljmover 3 years ago
All alone here too.<p>Truth be told, it would take some effort to trust someone enough to spend it with them now. I can thank my own family (back when I considered them family) for that.<p>Now I just make my own dinner, play some video games, and chill out. Took a fair few years to get there though.
acqbuover 3 years ago
Thanks, you too. Solitary Christmas here too - being an INTJ, I wouldn&#x27;t like it any other way. To me, this is a great opportunity to review the past year, plan&#x2F;predict the next one and work on some cool side projects. All best wishes!
cblconfederateover 3 years ago
You can also get an actual virtual hug and virtual dance etc in online gaming if you re bored. Even if public gatherings are turned off this year, technology gives people , solitary or not, ways to connect with each other<p>(I&#x27;ll shamelessly plug these open-source world parties <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;opensimworld.com&#x2F;?sub=events" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;opensimworld.com&#x2F;?sub=events</a> )
upstarterover 3 years ago
Nobody in this World has ever been alone.<p>Everybody has their team of guides in the higher dimensions, and they are never on vacation, they are present every second of every day and every night.<p>You just need to learn to perceive them and to connect to them.
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globular-toastover 3 years ago
Solitary here too. I like being alone, but I do require a little &quot;punctuation&quot; throughout the year when I see people. It&#x27;s a shame that gatherings seem to require an excuse or some big event and can&#x27;t just be &quot;because I haven&#x27;t seen you for a while&quot;. Maybe they can be. But I lack the social skills to make that happen. Also my latent social anxiety.
maverick74over 3 years ago
There are also those who have lost many loved ones...<p>For those, Christmas is a mix of happiness and sadness. Happiness if there is someone left with who to share our life with, sadness for missing those who left...<p>You&#x27;re not alone either!
Flankkover 3 years ago
This year has been rough. The antiviral pills are just getting approved, seem to be effective. There&#x27;s a chance we&#x27;ll get back to normal in the new year. Merry Christmas!<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ</a>
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bradlysover 3 years ago
Well, we’re alone. Let’s not trivialize it. But we should also try to normalize loneliness more and accept people who are in such situations. Potentially accepting that they don’t want to be in that situation and building a culture around bringing people together who don’t have a family, large group of close friends, etc.<p>I’m in the same boat. I have friends but they’re spread out through the country. On top of that - most of them spend time with their families during these holidays. I’m the weird one who is estranged from his entire family, has few friends nearby, and is now single. It used to be I spent this time of the year traveling the world and spending my Christmas with my ex. But I’ll be spending the next few christmases alone while I try to find another partner.
mehdixover 3 years ago
I understand you OP. I&#x27;ll add a little bit of my story hoping it would comfort you or people in similar situations.<p>I went through a divorce with a massive emotional rollercoaster which devastated me for a few years. Lost excellent job&#x2F;research opportunities&#x2F;offers. Lost contact with family, friends and mates. Got social anxiety, avoided people and felt unprecedentedly alone. Life pushed me off my limits and left me crushed and helpless.<p>But I survied. Got a deeper appreciation for good things in life. For time, for loved ones, for humans, for I am one. Tried my luck with a new job, joined again some communities recovered some of my old hobbies and good habits. I got to know myself better.<p>The thing is, it will pass. What helped me was deriving value from within and jogging.<p>I wish you luck and Merry Christmas!
Existenceblinksover 3 years ago
When I was a teenager (12-18) I often did meditation during 23:30 - 0:10 for new year countdown, pretty calm transition. And taking a walk (or running) 5:00am - 7:00am in the morning on Jan 1, it&#x27;s pretty great start of new year. Recommended for lone wolf!
devoutsalsaover 3 years ago
I hope I&#x27;m alone, or someone is getting a free show. I&#x27;m not wearing pants.<p>Also, Merry Christmas!
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hohoho2021over 3 years ago
I have family at home so I’m not alone on a personal level. But in business, my co-founders have been gone for two years now. One silently sulking and one more or less retired. I’ve gone on to keep everything running for the sake of our employees but I feel a bit more like Scrooge in his counting house each year when I’m chugging along on Christmas Eve.<p>As an ecomm play, the holidays are also mark the end of our busy season. So it’s a lot at once, but I try to keep in mind that I am still happier working for myself than I ever was working for someone else. I am also so grateful for all the joy we bring to the world.
smcleodover 3 years ago
Right back at you. Not an easy day to be alone. Don&#x27;t do anything silly people. Call someone you care about if you can.
touchngthevodkaover 3 years ago
Thanks. You too. I lost my partner of 3.5 years recently and this will be my first Christmas since it happened. I&#x27;m with family but it doesn&#x27;t come anywhere close to filling the hole they left.<p>Merry christmas.
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xvectorover 3 years ago
At some point I realized that the thing that bothered me about being alone was not the fact that I was alone, but that other people were not.<p>Actually, I am quite content by myself. It was sort of an ego&#x2F;&quot;am I not good enough for someone else&quot; feeling that made me feel negative. But, that is not a good reason to enter a relationship with someone.<p>On balance, would I enjoy being in a relationship with someone? Questionable. I quite like the contentment, quietude, and freedom that comes with living by myself.<p>In either case, not worth agonizing over.
gigatexalover 3 years ago
Thank you for doing this! It’s so important to reach out to be seen to be connected.<p>If anyone is alone and wants to shoot the shit to get through this holiday email me terminal dot recluse at gmail dot com
alektorophobiaeover 3 years ago
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!<p>I&#x27;m an only child with a very small family, so our holidays were just me, mom, and dad. Growing up (and even a little bit today) I always felt lonely, especially when comparing our family to all the large Irish and Italian families that I went to grade school with.<p>But the older I get, the more I focus on just being grateful for the time I still have with them. It does make me sad to think of when they pass away (my dad is 74 with health conditions).<p>Virtual hugs to you all.
screyeover 3 years ago
I am spending Christmas &#x27;alone&#x27; , but together with a bunch of solo travellers on a backpacking trip. My loneliness was a result of US visa regulations cancelling my plans to meet my loved ones, but I do wonder about all of my other co-travellers.<p>They&#x27;re bunch of white Americans aged 40-70? for whom Christmas would usually be a big day. I dont know them well enough to ask personal questions about family, but a backpacking crew does feel like comforting place to be &#x27;alone&#x27;.<p>America&#x27;s holidays are so strongly tied to the last week of Dec (24-31), that not having any plans can feel really isolating even if you don&#x27;t care for Christmas. Calling friends on that long week to ask to hang out and repeatedly realizing that everyone has &#x27;plans&#x27;, can make you feel super left out.<p>For a while I did wonder if I was being actively left out. Then realized that being a single guy without family in the US means having to find the few others like you who WILL make plans in November. Either seek them out or lead the planning efforts. But, trying to find a plan to hop on into in December is a terrible idea.
unyttigfjelltolover 3 years ago
On the plus side, holiday time off provides ample time to address problems, to lay the groundwork for a different-- I won&#x27;t say better-- tomorrow.
pkdpicover 3 years ago
This is a great post and a reminder that HN is a great platform &#x2F; community.<p>It also seems like a reminder that the internet really does have the power to bring people together in meaningful substantive ways.<p>Especially when there are still social platforms that allow for clear minimally augmented communication between individuals.<p>Thank you for the inspiring post and thank you HN for an inspiring year!
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boramalperover 3 years ago
Dubliners are welcome to join our get together tonight, shoot me an email!
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Klaster_1over 3 years ago
I feel you and hug back. To me, celebrations and gatherings were always more stressful and awkward rather than fun and something to look forward to, but at least I got to see what friends and family I had. After moving cities, the only people who I talk to eye to eye are coworkers and service personnel, state holidays became extra weekends.
andreykover 3 years ago
I often wish HN had an official forum, or even a discord, where people could discuss whatever and not just trending articles. There are many like minded people here, so it feels like it could be more of an online community than it is right now.<p>Anyway, indeed, virtual hugs to those alone these holidays!
civilizedover 3 years ago
If you&#x27;re reading this, you&#x27;re welcome in Christmas spirit to my house with my wife and two little ones and our little Christmas tree and our piano. We&#x27;ll be doing our best to keep the kids busy as we have been and will be this long holiday break from school :)
mongolover 3 years ago
Fortunately I have never been alone at Christmas, but plenty New Years Eves. I think I can relate but I think these events are quite different, one is mostly about family, and the other mostly about friends. Wish you a pleasant holiday no matter where you are.
Wisdomlifeover 3 years ago
Thank you. I am alone but more happy than most others. Because I am free from internal and external vices. That is the true message behind Christmas. Let us celebrate each and every moment of our lives. May all always be very happy and healthy.
siva7over 3 years ago
A holiday is only as important as you make it. There are lots of people who don&#x27;t give a damn about which holiday it is because it bears no meaning to them and still are perfectly chilled friends. There is nothing wrong with that
Toutouxcover 3 years ago
I&#x27;m visiting my parents in a few hours and it&#x27;s probably going to suck. We&#x27;ve really been drifting apart since they found out I was vaccinated and actually taking Covid seriously. Ugly things were said about me being a dumb sheep brainwashed by uni education etc.<p>Anyway, I&#x27;m joining the virtual all-HN hug. Some people have it worse, and if you (the person reading this) are one of those people, I want you to know that you matter and I want you to be safe and know that whatever is going on WILL blow over one day.<p>If it helps to make you feel better, feel free to write me an email (contact in profile) about the things on your mind.
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fxtentacleover 3 years ago
Your situation is way more common than you probably think. My IRC and discord channels have been very lively in the past 24h. Lots of shared good mood by people celebrating &quot;alone by body, but not by mind&quot;.
1_playerover 3 years ago
Same here, my plan for today is JWST launch, junk food, video games (I got into Battle Brothers, it keeps kicking my ass) and possibly a video call with family later today. Enjoy your December 25th people!
ilakshover 3 years ago
My take on this is that the stigma of being alone is based on false premises. All it takes is to prioritize other things a little bit like your work, your side projects, your own beliefs, or even self-respect, over social efforts.<p>Another aspect I will put out there is that often these days the people we have the most in common with are just on the internet and not physically nearby. I think it&#x27;s quite wrong to think that online interactions aren&#x27;t meaningful.
ChrisMarshallNYover 3 years ago
Very nice.<p>My family is having a quarantine Christmas. We’ll be done on Monday.
rectangover 3 years ago
New video, released two days ago, for an old Joni Mitchell song, <i>River</i>:<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=OLHxxBTl71I" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=OLHxxBTl71I</a><p>&gt; <i>&quot;River expresses regret at the end of a relationship... but it&#x27;s also about being lonely at Christmas time... A Christmas song for people who are lonely at Christmas! We need a song like that.&quot; — Joni Mitchell</i>
pjmlpover 3 years ago
Not in the same situation, but could have been so due to a very set of dark moments during 2021 that also made this Christmas a very sad one to myself.<p>Have a big virtual hug.
hszeeksover 3 years ago
Thank you so much for this.<p>I just had a Christmas dinner alone spiraling on how much of a failure i am given my horrible social skill. But this really cheer me up!
phtrivierover 3 years ago
Good luck to all those who&#x27;re lonely and sad about it. Hopefully this won&#x27;t last, or you&#x27;ll find a way to make the best of it.<p>If you&#x27;re in a position to have a sense of humor about it, think about how you&#x27;re skipping all the Christmas diner conversations that are going to be even tougher this year, now that the world has turned into a real-life Facebook argument !<p>Cheers and take care of yourselves !
deskuover 3 years ago
Nobody should feel alone at Christmas. If anyone needs someone to talk to, about anything at all, feel free to contact me. Details in my profile.
ragingrobotover 3 years ago
I&#x27;m in the same boat, no family or friends to share with. It&#x27;s been a wet and dreary day here in NJ, spent all of it outside.<p>The sun came out for a few minutes, and grabbed a steak from the freezer. It&#x27;s gone away again now, but too late. Screw it, I&#x27;m barbequing myself a steak for Christmas.<p>All of you out there alone today, enjoy. Get out that (perhaps metaphorical) steak of yours and enjoy.
andreisbcover 3 years ago
I&#x27;m looking to move and work in the US this year, together with my wife (she&#x27;s a phd, I&#x27;m a dropout, both coming from the EU). Our plan is to grow a remote dev team to build cool products. We have access to professionals and can also tap into universities for promising students. If anyone feels like Santa, I can share my Linkedin profile. Best wishes
pulse7over 3 years ago
I am inviting you to come to my family! From &quot;UK&quot; in your username I see you are just one Ryan Air flight away from us...
mathnodeover 3 years ago
My thoughts are with you and everyone else. I love you all. The H in hackernews can sometimes also mean, Human , Human News.
pawelwentpawelover 3 years ago
We&#x27;re actually running a virtual party right now for people who happen to be in front of their screens this xmas. Feel free to join, say hi and have a coffee with us! - <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;flat.social&#x2F;f&#x2F;hn-virtual-xmas" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;flat.social&#x2F;f&#x2F;hn-virtual-xmas</a>
Ostrogodskyover 3 years ago
Meh, I have been alone for like 18 straight Christmas. Life goes on. BTW dont believe the people saying &quot;I care about you&quot; &quot;Feel free to reach me by email&quot;, that&#x27;s an exercise in showing off. If you think you cant cope, contact a professional who can help you, not a rando on the Internet.
RuggedPineappleover 3 years ago
I got engaged to my girlfriend this year. Our christmas is going to be just us and my best friend whose decided she just can&#x27;t with her antivax family during a covid-era family gathering. Not what I was expecting from the holidays, but also a reminder that family that you build yourself is just as valid!
zscoreover 3 years ago
Merry Christmas OP. I&#x27;m not a christian and I wasn&#x27;t feeling particularly odd about being alone today as compared to any other day. I had delicious Foul, Zaatar Manakish and Falafel in the breakfast today. The rest of the day couldn&#x27;t be any better either<p>Sending you a virtual hug nonetheless :)
betwixthewiresover 3 years ago
I am too. But I wanted to be this year. I could be with family right now. I don&#x27;t want to be. There&#x27;s only 1 person I wish was here, but that person had prior commitments today, and that&#x27;s OK. I just have to wait a few days.<p>I&#x27;m having a good Christmas alone.
daedlanthover 3 years ago
Well, being a religious event, I have to say that happiness while being alone is actually a gift from God. My kids have jobs and their mom doesn&#x27;t crab at me anymore, Yay!!! I&#x27;m going to read the news, have breakfast and play some video games.
code_monk666over 3 years ago
I am terrified of being alone. Thankfully I have a bunch of good friends but it&#x27;s been hard to meet them due to covid. Is it better to be alone or be in a relationship that you are sort of okay with and not completely happy with it?
schwartzworldover 3 years ago
Interesting. I have the exact opposite situation. I would love a December without Christmas. Once my kids are older, I&#x27;ll be opting out of the holiday permanently, and I&#x27;ll probably start going away for the whole month of December.
zawazawaover 3 years ago
Thanks for this post. As alone as one could be this Christmas. Family over 8000km away, and no real friends or significant other to spend it with. Have a huge deadline on January 6th but I cant bring myself to work any more for that today.
wruzaover 3 years ago
Hey, I didn’t even think of it before reading this post. Hug to everyone who did!
sidechainingover 3 years ago
That’s very sweet, thanks! I’m dealing with the loss of my father and the holiday season just feels a lot more...poignant? sobering? I wish the timeline for grief weren’t as protracted as it seems to be
mwattsunover 3 years ago
Merry Christmas to all my Navy brothers and sisters stuck underwater on a submarine today! Hopefully the galley cook saved something good for a nice Christmas dinner
manuelabeledoover 3 years ago
I feel you. Haven’t been with my family for almost three years now, although I’m lucky I have my wife and children with me. Let’s hope next year gets better!
lngnmn2over 3 years ago
There&#x27;s nothing wrong in being alone. Some (mostly narcissistic assholes) even pay for fancy &quot;spiritual&quot; retreats and what not.
happyweaselover 3 years ago
The time around christmas and new year is always a great time for diving into personal projects while taking the minimum time off..
charcircuitover 3 years ago
There are a lot of Christmas streams you can go and watch today. Who needs family when you have online friends to hang out with.
kelloover 3 years ago
Thank you so much for this! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas spending it exactly the way you want to.
vmihailencoover 3 years ago
Happy Christmas
cannabis_samover 3 years ago
I’m in the same position, but it’s okay.<p>Have a virtual hug back! And a virtual hug to anyone else who needs it!!
kevintan2019over 3 years ago
yes, you are not alone man... me too, still had family but no friends, but it&#x27;s okay :)
jollybeanover 3 years ago
You are not alone!<p>But take some time to make a nice dinner if you can. Little things make a big difference.<p>Merry Christmas.
ArjenMover 3 years ago
Virtual hugs all around! Hope everyone has a more favorable time ahead of them next year.
Cloudefover 3 years ago
Thanks, pretty much same for me.
bigodbielover 3 years ago
Merry Christmas all! And remember no one is truly lonely.<p>Have a virtual hug from me. Love you all
neycodaover 3 years ago
You&#x27;re never alone with the best Christmas movie ever made, Die Hard.
e-clintonover 3 years ago
Being alone is underrated.
throwaway_nr_34over 3 years ago
I ve lost my love and my mental health is deteriorating<p>I really hope things get better
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Kirtirajsinhover 3 years ago
Sending Virtual Hugs Bro. Sending you best wishes for the Next Year.
moondistanceover 3 years ago
Love you all, HN. Virtual hug right back. Merry Christmas :)
darepublicover 3 years ago
Thanks for the hug OP, right back at you. Happy Christmas
zw123456over 3 years ago
Hey thanks for this, super nice gesture. Some of the stories posted really touched me.<p>I am alone too, but to be completely honest, I actually am kind of relieved. The holidays were always a stressful time for me, our family dynamic is not very good and now after 2 years, everyone is drifting apart, and it&#x27;s kind of a relief.<p>I am going to be doing a little virtual celebration and chatting online with a couple of friends but other than that, no stressful travel, no stressful family gatherings, no listening to racist right-wing rants from ignorant relatives, no rushing around to get ready for the holidays.<p>Actually, I am kind of digging this.
kodizhukover 3 years ago
thanks, really
hackernjover 3 years ago
Virtual hug from me across the pond!
dutchblacksmithover 3 years ago
Thanks, one warm hug for your too
impetus1over 3 years ago
Exact same man, call your family
curious_cat_163over 3 years ago
And a virtual hug back at ya!
leto_iiover 3 years ago
&gt;:D&lt;
jglaucheover 3 years ago
Virtual Hug back &lt;3
nomorecommasover 3 years ago
Bah humbug!
Yeriover 3 years ago
&lt;3
badrabbitover 3 years ago
Who cares. There are 364 other days
electrotypeover 3 years ago
Even if I&#x27;m unvaccinated?<p>Merry Christmas to you too.
kodizhukover 3 years ago
thanks, really)
deepersproutover 3 years ago
I think this whole christmas thing makes a lot of people feel alone and depressed. I hate that. Posts like these make me think this even more. I am alone, and I like it. I can play Warzone and code some stuff I wanted to finish. I can do things I like. I know this may sound stupid, but if you feel alone, don&#x27;t. There is no reason to. It&#x27;s just a day like many others. There is really nothing to it.<p>And we don&#x27;t need &quot;Christmas&quot; for a virtual hug. We can do that every day of the year.
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sAbakumoffover 3 years ago
XMass is just an artificially distinctive day designed to sell more stuff to people. Why do guys even care about being or not being alone?
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xmaasover 3 years ago
I hear what you&#x27;re saying, OP. Also spending Christmas alone here, but to me it&#x27;s just another day too. Also, I&#x27;m not really a fan of Christmas anyway.<p>We&#x27;re bombarded with so many messages about Christmas being a time of happiness and togetherness, but it&#x27;s with false intent; it&#x27;s mostly all about guilting people into buying unnecessary consumer products for their loved ones, and increasing revenues for retailers.<p>Christmas was stolen from the Christians and had the act of collective worship for their saviour - a genuine feeling of coming together as one with a community - replaced with secular commercialism.<p>The modern icon of Christmas, Santa Claus, favours the rich above the poor, is used to promote a narrow and capitalist view of a worthwhile family time, and wasn&#x27;t even crucified. Even as an atheist, I feel quite bad for the Christians that their festival has been upended with this nonsense.<p>These days, I only wish Christians a Merry Christmas. Everyone else can just enjoy their Happy Holidays or Good Winterval or whatever.
madrogaover 3 years ago
I think we are more alone than ever, as a virtual hug is not an actual hug. Better would be for us to stop being delusional and try harder to find a way to live in a real community where we can feel each other&#x27;s warmth again.<p>Thanks for the good intention, and a Merry Christmas to all.