The other day was take your kids to work day and my daughter was excited to go for some reason. By midmorning I could tell she was disappointed. At lunch we were all sitting together and she started crying. Folks gathered round to comfort her and ask what was wrong. She turned to me and asked "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"
For a physicist, all numbers up to 10 are prime:<p><pre><code> 1: prime
2: prime
3: prime
4: measurement error
5: prime
6: measurement error
7: prime
8: measurement error
9: measurement error
10: measurement error</code></pre>
Jesus has been at the bar all day. He’s practically falling over. Jesus says “Let me get a seven and seven.” Bartender says “Good lord, you’re hammered. I’m cutting you off.” Jesus says, “Fine, I’ll just take a water.”
Walk into a whiteboard interview scowling at the candidate and write<p>5Q + 5Q = ?<p>Tell them to solve it. When they write 10Q say "You're welcome"
A belgian, an american and a french walks into a swimming pool. The owner tells them it's a magic pool, you say a word and you dive into a pool made of that word.<p>The belgian says "beer" and dive into a beer-filled pool.<p>The american says "dollar" and dive into a dollar-filled pool.<p>The french runs, slips and says "shit!".
Two blokes looking in a shop window. One turns to the other and says <i>"There's the one I'd get"</i><p>And a big cyclops comes round the corner and beats the shite out of him.