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A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

828 pointsby jakobgreenfeldover 3 years ago

119 comments

katorover 3 years ago
Interesting way to approach it, my approach might be less technical, when someone comes to mind randomly, I just txt them with:<p><pre><code> Hey, you just popped into my mind, I hope all is well with you and yours! </code></pre> It&#x27;s simple, lightweight, and you&#x27;d be shocked how often the other person pings back.<p>My completely un-scientific view is that most people think of others once in a while. Perhaps we&#x27;re too busy to reach out, or the guilt of getting out of touch makes it hard to push through that resistance. I just push through it.
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mettamageover 3 years ago
Some comments here claim that he is treating people not as friends. IMO these comments are not charitable a interpretation. While it is a plausible interpretation, I have strongly learned from HN to be charitable and optimistic when reading someone else&#x27;s point of view. I know with topics like this that perspectives vary more wildly among people, so let me show you why I can be more optimistic in my interpretation.<p>I think it&#x27;s perfectly fine to separate emotions and reason like this. The reason: I am on the other side when it comes to managing my friends: I am not separating reason and emotion. Because of that, I am failing hard at staying in touch with people that I would like to stay in touch with (I am noticing it with certain friends of my as well). I am succeeding to stay in touch with a few people, but if I&#x27;d have a system like this I might be able to stay in touch with many more people that I&#x27;d like to stay in touch with anyway but for some unknown reason have some sort of blockade or friction.<p>Other than that I think the interpretation is not charitable enough, I also have personal experience that it might be wrong. For example, I view the dating markets strictly from a market perspective that is heavily inspired by micro-economics and &quot;common sense&quot;. Initially, such a perspective is detached from emotion, but there are certain points where it is attached (e.g. with supply&#x2F;demand questions like: &quot;what do I want&#x2F;need from a partner&quot; or &quot;What can I offer? What do I want to offer? What do I need to offer?&quot;). Moreover, upon meeting people there is empathy, sympathy and human intuition involved. Sometimes the emotions will be so strong that I have a compulsion towards meeting a person again (e.g. falling in love). Those emotions are not helping! Sometimes I feel the right amount that is also in line with my other needs and in other cases I don&#x27;t feel enough about a certain person <i>when I don&#x27;t see them</i> (but when I do see them, I am delighted to catch up).<p>Management of personal life != how people are on a moment by moment basis in personal life<p>I think by having a system like this, you can put Dunbar&#x27;s number to shame.
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siversover 3 years ago
(I&#x27;m the guy he refers to in that post.)<p>If anyone reading this builds software like this, and releases it publicly, whether free or for sale, please let me know. I&#x27;d be happy to send people your way.<p>Because of <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;sive.rs&#x2F;dbt" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;sive.rs&#x2F;dbt</a> I get a few emails a week from strangers, asking if my software is public yet, or if not, what else I would recommend. (And I might never make my software public. It&#x27;s too tied-in to my now-complex PostgreSQL system of everything.)<p>I&#x27;m definitely going to send people to Jakob&#x27;s post here now. But if interested in this subject, please email me here:<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;sive.rs&#x2F;contact" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;sive.rs&#x2F;contact</a>
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jakub_gover 3 years ago
My main issue with keeping in touch with people is that texting someone you only vaguely know is kinda weird. You don&#x27;t see the other person, you don&#x27;t hear them, you can&#x27;t know what&#x27;s in their mind. Those exchanges often just hang in a weird void after a few texts and it&#x27;s unsure when&#x2F;how to continue from there.<p>On the other hand, calling someone you don&#x27;t know well (even someone you do know!) feels even weirder and more invasive those days. I don&#x27;t remember when I last called someone else than my close family (and very close friends upon first fixing a date&#x2F;time for the call).
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notreallyserioover 3 years ago
The biggest reason I don&#x27;t maintain contact with people from my past is I was a much worse person in my past and I&#x27;m either embarrassed about my behavior or concerned that my shittiness is what led to our relationship in the first place.<p>In any case, I find it&#x27;s easier (and emotionally satisfying) to stay in touch with a couple people that I can have natural, unforced conversations with. Scheduling interactions on a calendar feels odd. It makes me think of those emails you get &quot;from&quot; somebody after signing up for a service, and after a few you notice their time stamps all end in 00:00.
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scotty79over 3 years ago
&gt; Of course, not everyone publishes content or updates regularly. In that case, I usually just ask what they’ve been up to lately.<p>&gt; You’d be surprised how many people are really happy to get these kinds of messages and they often spark all kinds of deeper conversations.<p>I had an acquaintance I barely had any common interests with that every few weeks out of the blue would ask me &quot;what&#x27;s up?&quot;. Not once did it lead to any value for me or him and just mildly annoyed me and made me less likely to cooperate if he ever needed help. I&#x27;d still help him, because I&#x27;m a helpful person but I&#x27;d have more mixed feelings about it than if he was just memory of last pleasant interaction from few years prior than fresh memory of scheduled networking&#x2F;nagging.<p>I think if you can&#x27;t personalize approach to provide value to that person with your interactions you should skip keeping in touch because you might be worse off.
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lars512over 3 years ago
Many people have mentioned Monica, which is what I use for this.<p>I live overseas from loved ones and old friends, meaning there are few natural cues to encourage communication. Without very regular chats my memory doesn&#x27;t let me be as in context with the major things happening in their lives as I need to be to have meaningful conversations with them. Monica helps with both of these things.<p>Getting reminders only really helps if the interactions themselves are also rewarding when you do them. If, say, calling an elderly family member feels more like a chore, it&#x27;s easy to end up skipping the reminders more than you&#x27;d like.
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Paul_Sover 3 years ago
The next logical step is to have AI (GPT-3?) read the social posts of the contact and produce an email based on that and the last email. I hope the poor people on the other end of the author&#x27;s networking scheme also have AI to read this and reply.
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keiferskiover 3 years ago
I don&#x27;t think this is fake or forced at all. It&#x27;s just a necessary counteraction to the way the modern world is constructed. In the past, you&#x27;d maintain all of these weak social connections automatically, simply by going about your daily life. You&#x27;d talk to your coworkers daily, the baker&#x2F;grocer&#x2F;butcher a few times a week, neighbors weekly at the church, other citizens monthly at a town hall, and so on. You didn&#x27;t need a system because it just happened naturally.<p>These days, most of these situations have been removed. Workers change jobs every couple years (and can work remotely), most people barely speak to their neighbors, grocery stores are either huge and faceless or just have items delivered by an anonymous gig worker, town halls don&#x27;t really exist, etc.<p>If you think that social connections have value (and they almost always do), this is the rational move.
verytrivialover 3 years ago
Jakob is clearly the bottleneck here. Surely GPT3 or something could write these mundane &quot;messages&quot; for him? So inefficient. With a bit of luck and some elbow grease he could sell this as a service. To his friends. Then they&#x27;d never have to think about each other ever again.
dan-robertsonover 3 years ago
I’m a bit surprised by the negative reactions here. I don’t think the post is saying “I use a tool to remind me to talk to my spouse&#x2F;close&#x2F;friends&#x2F;family” so much as “having weak social connections is more useful for both sides than not having them at all and I have a tool to help me do the work of maintaining them”. Two things which I think are acceptable and similar are:<p>1. Contacts who mostly just exchange Christmas cards (but what a bad way of staying in touch! One year my dad decided he was sick of Christmas cards and he would just call his acquaintances and talk to them instead, which seemed a better way to do things)<p>2. Maintaining business relationships. E.g. maybe you meet someone from some other company at a conference and then email a bit and decide there isn’t some business you currently want to do with them (eg their product is unsuitable) but you may still want to keep in touch in case they offer something new or may remember you and mention your services to someone else or vice versa. I don’t think people would be so upset to hear that someone they worked with had some reminder system to help maintain such relationships.
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horstmeyerover 3 years ago
Someone made a tool for this purpose: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;github.com&#x2F;monicahq&#x2F;monica" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;github.com&#x2F;monicahq&#x2F;monica</a><p>&quot;You may call it cheating but considering my poor memory, I call it caring.&quot;
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wccrawfordover 3 years ago
Reading this, I also came up with a simple system. It call it an &quot;address book&quot;. Write people&#x27;s names in it, along with their contact info. Feel free to use paper or digital.<p>Once in a while, look at the list. If you see someone&#x27;s name and think, &quot;I wonder how they&#x27;re doing?&quot;, <i>contact them</i>.<p>It&#x27;s a lot more organic than scheduling the contacts, and it&#x27;ll feel more organic to the recipients, too.
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genezetaover 3 years ago
Derek Sivers seems kinda cool. I mean, I used to read him back in the times of CDBaby and he seemed like a nice person. Of course, I can only say he <i>seems</i> so because I haven&#x27;t really met him. I don&#x27;t <i>know</i> him.<p>Later, I would receive some of his emails and while they always did feel honest and thoughtful, I always understood we&#x27;d never even <i>talked</i> to each other. Sometimes I could think it was &quot;just a commercial email&quot; to present this book or whatever. Other times he would just sort of talk, about things in his life, &quot;without anything to sell&quot;. But whatever the case it was clear I was &quot;on a list&quot;.<p>----<p><i>I</i> keep very few contacts. Probably too few. There&#x27;s only a handful of people I talk to <i>regularly</i>. There is a woman I love quite dearly and we talk on the phone maybe once a week, sometimes less, sometimes more. Some other very close friends, less than I can count on my fingers, and again we talk occasionally, randomly. Maybe every few days, maybe once a month or less.<p>I have been postponing visiting them because of other personal circumstances, but we know that&#x27;s just how things are at the moment and that we&#x27;ll see each other &quot;soon&quot;. Those friendships will not disappear even if, for whatever reason, we don&#x27;t get a chance to talk or see each other for a couple of months or longer.<p>There&#x27;s also a larger number of acquaintances. Friends, but less close. Ex-coworkers or ex-colleagues. There&#x27;s this group that likes, say, comic books and I&#x27;m giving away my collection. So I might just throw an email in their direction because I remember they liked that. Someone may be interested. We&#x27;ll meet and talk about whatever past and present we may have in common -or not-, maybe have a drink or a tea or maybe not, I&#x27;ll give them the comics and then maybe I won&#x27;t see them again for years. Maybe forever, because life is that way and you never know.<p>----<p>I&#x27;ve always felt Derek&#x27;s approach to keeping in contact... interesting. I mean, if that works for him, then great. But I think that the system is a lot more for <i>his benefit</i> than for the benefit of the relationships themselves. And again, great for him. I mean it. But I don&#x27;t feel the <i>need</i> for such a system for myself and I feel like not many people do.
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kzismeover 3 years ago
At least for me when friendships&#x2F;relationships become transactional it loses a lot of the value. This method of staying in touch feels _very_ transactional, and I just imagine sending some random person you spoke to a few times in high school&#x2F;university a message every 6 months - 1 year.<p>Some people aren&#x27;t meant to be in your life forever, and that&#x27;s okay! However, there the people you choose to make time for will stick around.
tbirdzover 3 years ago
I love this idea! I can&#x27;t tell you how many friendships I&#x27;ve lost in the past (or ones that could&#x27;ve taken off but prematurely died) from getting stuck in the &quot;I think they don&#x27;t want to talk to me&quot;&#x2F;&quot;They think I don&#x27;t want to talk to them&quot; cycle. Then you end up with neither person initiating contact, and the whole thing just kind of ends. Many if not most people these days don&#x27;t want to initiate, including me, so if you wait on them to reach out to you, they simply never will, even if they want to talk to you, or would enjoy a conversation.<p>I&#x27;ve been making steps toward being the person who initiates all contact, and so far it seems to work better than my previous strategies of &quot;never initiating contact&quot;, and &quot;initiating 50% of contacts and assuming they&#x27;re not interested if they don&#x27;t initiate&quot;. The only problem is I&#x27;m really not a natural at reaching out, so if left to my own devices I wouldn&#x27;t do it often enough to maintain the relationship. I like OP&#x27;s idea of externalizing it with a tool, that makes it a lot easier to maintain the kind of consistency needed to grow a relationship.<p>To all those saying this is forced or inhuman or robotic or whatever... Listen it would be great to have some kind of easy natural friendship where both people would do half the work, think of each other regularly and reach out in an easy non forced manner, but in my life experience that kind of relationship seems to be very hard to find, if not impossible.<p>In the real world it seems to me like the choices are be lonely and alone, or to do all the work (especially in initiating). In the past I chose to be lonely and alone, maybe holding out for that kind of unicorn, ideal friendship that people in this thread are talking about. I don&#x27;t think it was a good choice. I switched, I&#x27;m doing the other approach and now I have people I can talk to. I do feel kind of resentful for having to put in way more effort initiating than the other person in these relationships, but it beats being alone and lonely, so I&#x27;d still say it&#x27;s a net positive overall.
andreykover 3 years ago
There is actually at least one app for this - <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;techcrunch.com&#x2F;2018&#x2F;04&#x2F;10&#x2F;a-new-app-called-garden-helps-you-stay-in-touch-with-friends-and-family-without-facebook&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;techcrunch.com&#x2F;2018&#x2F;04&#x2F;10&#x2F;a-new-app-called-garden-he...</a><p>Pretty sure there are a couple of other ones. I don&#x27;t get the backlash to this on here, life gets busy and it&#x27;s nice to have some reminders set to not forget to make time to reach out to people.<p>Personally I&#x27;ve gotten a lot more into getting in touch with people I have not caught up with in weeks &#x2F; months &#x2F; year over the course of COVID, and think it&#x27;s a super valuable practice. Most people would not reach out themselves, but are totally down to catch up when messaged, and the worst case is you just don&#x27;t end up meeting to chat.
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admjsover 3 years ago
I have a similar system, not for friends, but for acquaintances, business connections etc. I have a google sheet and a google script, the script runs once per day and checks the last time I emailed them or they emailed me. If it’s too long ago it adds a reminder to my calendar for that day. It’s simple and means I don’t have to remember to use the system.
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VBprogrammerover 3 years ago
My first reaction to this was it feels a little bit icky. However, on reflection, there are a number of people who I&#x27;d consider my closest friends who, partially due to the pandemic, I&#x27;ve not seen in a few years and we haven&#x27;t ever been in the habit of talking regularly. I think having a systematic way of remembering to reach out to some of these people would definitely have been a net positive.
tillcarlosover 3 years ago
I started a year ago to shoot random videos throughout my week and then edit them on sunday (takes 1h with luma fusion). I limited each video to 3 minutes and added voice over.<p>Then I sent the videos out via whatsapp and to 100 friends in a telegram channel.<p>The effects of this were really great. People said it’s now part of their Sunday. And they get to know me quite well, without scheduling calls or such.
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domenicdover 3 years ago
This is a very helpful post.<p>Over the pandemic, I fell into the habit of basically only socializing with my partner. When you have a comfortable relationship with such high availability it&#x27;s too easy to neglect friendships.<p>As things have opened back up, so far I&#x27;ve been basically relying on extrovert friends to do outreach. This means that a lot of my introvert friends, who are (like me) bad at reaching out, I haven&#x27;t seen in months. A system like this would probably give me the nudge I need to take the initiative myself.
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RamblingCTOover 3 years ago
I don&#x27;t understand the problems with this approach and I might adapt it. I have a bunch of business connections, but refrain from contacting them because A) social anxiety and B) not thinking about them because I&#x27;m drowning in daily business and life is hectic af sometimes. It would actually be very helpful to get reminded once in a while to do some &quot;relationships&quot; stuff (which I&#x27;m not good at). Of course you should be very mindful about using this. If you think of a person, write them, if you don&#x27;t want to write them because you feel like you don&#x27;t add any value for them, don&#x27;t. Sounds easy to me.<p>&#x2F;e: I also wonder if this could be done with notion instead.
awkwardover 3 years ago
The OP&#x27;s system seems good, but the initial system, where the guy lists everyone he knows by A, B, C and D seems like he&#x27;s creating informational toxic waste, IE something that causes damage if it gets out.<p>Even if all it means is they get less emails, who the hell wants to find themselves categorized as acquaintance level D.
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fpopaover 3 years ago
I resonate so much with this, it felt very easy to fall out of touch with people that I had closer some time ago.<p>I&#x27;ve actually started building a more niche version of cal.com|calendly that focuses exactly on this but with a twist for coffee :) the main differentiator being setting a &quot;time limit&quot; that reminds you to meet X. Very similar to this A,B,C or D system.<p>It feels robotic, but if it helps someone that&#x27;s enough for me.
globular-toastover 3 years ago
The bad reactions here make me wonder what <i>is</i> an acceptable way to stay in contact with your friends. Consider the enormous popularity of social networking. What is that for if not to help you to stay in contact with people? Why is that OK but this isn&#x27;t? People used to (some still do) write Christmas cards to everybody in their address book. Many of these would be people they had made zero contact with over the year. Again, why is that OK but this isn&#x27;t?<p>I wonder if it&#x27;s because this makes it too obvious what is going on. It fits a pattern I&#x27;ve noticed in general. People need plausible deniability. When things are made explicit like this, people don&#x27;t like it.<p>Remember how long it took online dating to become popular? Part of that was how explicit it was. You were basically shouting &quot;I am lonely and wish I had a partner&quot;. That was too much for many. Even now the popular online dating apps nurture plausible deniability (only on there for a laugh, to &quot;meet people&quot;, to &quot;make friends&quot; etc.)
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streamofdigitsover 3 years ago
The dawn of &quot;digitally augmented relationship management&quot;?<p>- Dave, I noticed you haven&#x27;t spoken to X in a while. Do you want me to sent them a short generic message to keep the relationship warm?<p>- Aaw, thanks HAL. I love how you are taking good care of me.<p>On the other hand, we have finite and overburdened memories. Surely there is a way to get them triggered that doesn&#x27;t feel mechanical and &quot;fake&quot;.
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mb_72over 3 years ago
Hmmm, I would never use such a system as for one thing - if people aren&#x27;t contacting me, why should I care about contacting them? I have several &#x27;best friends&#x27;, maybe twice that &#x27;friends&#x27;, and then a bunch more I interact with sometimes, and I feel this is relatively normal. Also, I don&#x27;t care actually if it&#x27;s not normal, and don&#x27;t feel I&#x27;m missing out on anything. That said, I&#x27;m quite the introvert and generally value time by myself over time with others.<p>Still, if this is what works for the author, and they feel they need to &#x27;keep in touch&#x27;, and that describing such a system helps other people, then good for them. Someone else using this system doesn&#x27;t hurt me in any way, in fact if I was contacted by someone AND found out about the system behind it, my curiosity about how it worked might lead to a new deeper friendship.
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xliiover 3 years ago
I can see how it&#x27;s polarizing especially since it feels like CRM for some.<p>I&#x27;m, however, going to try this approach myself. Reason for that is that I&#x27;m all-or-nothing kind of person. I can nag you daily and overshare but then if our roads split (different job, environment etc.) I forget to reach out - simply because what&#x27;s off my eyes is off my mind.<p>It&#x27;s not like I don&#x27;t care for people, sometimes I find myself thinking about some colleagues couple months later. I don&#x27;t reach out though cause it would be weird and it feels like cold e-mail. Done this few time and people would drop some bomb (like, oh yeah, our life changed 180, why didn&#x27;t you call?) which would - instead of keeping relation, chill it even further, as we both feel weird about not caring.<p>That reminds me that my grandma didn&#x27;t get a call from me for past month or so (sigh).
telesillaover 3 years ago
I keep a birthday calendar, also for my friend&#x27;s kids. I stay in touch over the years this way really well, along with the occasional &#x27;something popped up that reminded me of you&#x27;. For closer friends, it ebbs and flows naturally or as we travel.<p>How do you get someone&#x27;s birthday? Ask them! Everyone is delighted to tell you, even if they are shy. The possibility of a future greeting is very meaningful.
lkrubnerover 3 years ago
I&#x27;ve mentioned this a few times on Hacker News, and I&#x27;ve gotten some great turnout, so I&#x27;ll mention this again: I host a once-a-month party in New York City, mostly tech people, especially during the warmer months. See photos here:<p><a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.smashcompany.com&#x2F;philosophy&#x2F;everyone-was-amazing-and-youre-awesome" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.smashcompany.com&#x2F;philosophy&#x2F;everyone-was-amazing-...</a><p>If you live in New York City and you want to expand your circle of tech people (and also some theater people and artists), feel free to reach out to me. Phone number in bio.
eatbitseverydayover 3 years ago
&gt; I typically spend a few minutes researching what they’ve been up to recently.<p>So this process isn’t for friends? I find this behavior personally strange. I’d rather get the information on what they’ve been up to from them directly, and the way I do that is to video call them on a weekend to catch up.<p>It really is impersonal in my opinion to learn about a friend via broadcast messages posted to social media.<p>As for the technique in the post, I do agree. Some regularity is needed. Every few weeks I call people via video and talk. Others I share photos about what I’ve done via Signal and ask how they’re doing.
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robtherobberover 3 years ago
Sounds like the system could be created using <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.monicahq.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.monicahq.com&#x2F;</a> Personally, I never had the discipline to turn this into a useful tool, but I definitely see the value in it from the perspective suggested by the author.
gostsamoover 3 years ago
Let me just point that the messages must be genuine and thoughtful. It is written in the article, but it seems that some people failed to notice it and accuse the author of objectivization and hypocrisy.
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bsaulover 3 years ago
This post has to be one of the most archetypal one on HN. Rationalizing human interactions with friends through the use of planification tools.
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yokoprimeover 3 years ago
This is terrible. If this is in a professional setting, use a CRM. If you put your friends in a &quot;CRM&quot; with SLAs a and reminders to &quot;touch base&quot; ... you don&#x27;t have friends.
degosukeover 3 years ago
What I tried some time ago, was putting people as projects in my trello board (I had it set up as a GTD board with a separate column for Projects). And each time I did a review I wrote a comment like: &quot;Didn&#x27;t do anything recently&quot; or &quot;Seen last weekend, X and Y was lot of fun&quot;. And when I felt it was time to reach out I did - if not it waited for the next review.
syndacksover 3 years ago
I find this pretty sad to be honest. How would you feel if you were on a B or C list and got some kind of shallow, automated message like this? For me it would probably do the opposite by showing me that you don’t actually value me or our friendship, just the outcome. Like an SEO guru type or something, full of shallow words.<p>Friendships, like any relationship, require work. And, given we are human, nuance and authenticity too. I text people when I think about them. Occasionally I’ll scroll through my text message history to see if someone I care about hasn’t heard from me or viceversa in a while. Sometimes it leads to a text-convo, a phone convo, or IRL plans.<p>If you struggle with friendships and see an article like this as a way to “hack” the system, I caution you to think twice. Less is more. Cultivate your tender friend garden with intention, not automation.
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justinlloydover 3 years ago
I have a system I use to communicate with about 14,000 connections on LinkedIn. It takes me about six months to work my way through the list, at which point, I start again. I spend about 15 to 20 minutes per day on the outreach. 30 minutes at the outside.<p>I tend to build little side projects, about once every four months or so, side projects that I can show off to people that are interesting in some way, then use that as my launching point for reaching out. &quot;Hey, I built this interesting thing, it uses the following technologies. This isn&#x27;t a pitch, I&#x27;m not trying to sell you a service, I just thought you might be interested. What are you up to these days? Building anything interesting?&quot;<p>Leads to an awful lot of potential work, job interviews, availability checks, and coffee meetings. A lot of people ping back, many never respond. This technique has gotten me jobs and work for the past 15+ years, ever since LinkedIn was launched.
jedbergover 3 years ago
I have a pretty simple system. It starts with social media -- a bunch of my friends are still there (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc).<p>For the ones that aren&#x27;t there, I put a recurring item in my calendar to remind me of their birthday. Then I text them on their birthday.<p>The last step is going through my text message history, which is conveniently ordered by last contact. I skip down about two months, and then work my way down the list pinging people I still want to keep in touch with, either with something relevant (how&#x27;s the new job, how&#x27;s school) or generic (hey it&#x27;s been a while how are you?).<p>That pretty much gets me everyone. I usually do a deeper review of my other contact methods (email, niche chat apps, etc) once a year around Christmas to make sure I didn&#x27;t miss anyone and wish them a happy new year and try to get their number so they are in my text list instead.
inter_netuserover 3 years ago
This should be SaaSified and sold for $5&#x2F;15&#x2F;25 per month, with AI-generated trivial empty messages.<p>Also, you could sign-up for the antipode service, for only $50 a month, which will reply on your behalf to such AI-generated postcards.<p>Soon, we&#x27;ll just have chatbots congratulating each other on birthdays and such.<p>Isn&#x27;t life wonderful? &#x2F;s
mebreuerover 3 years ago
This is awesome to see - I built myself an incredibly similar version of it using Airtable as well. I send myself 3 names per week, and found that&#x27;s the right number for me to send outreach to.<p>To me, it doesn&#x27;t feel forced at all - it&#x27;s up to me whether I want to contact the suggestions, or ignore. Often times I get a suggestion for someone who I&#x27;ve spoken to recently, and I can happily ignore the reminder!<p>The biggest issue I have with it is keeping the contact list up to date. I would love if someone built software that did exactly this, but also let me sync my Linkedin &#x2F; Instagram &#x2F; Gmail accounts and suggested new people to add to my list, based on who I&#x27;ve newly connected with recently. Or if there&#x27;s a way to do it in Airtable, even better.
ar_imaniover 3 years ago
Actually, it is a helpful system to be in touch with ex-coworker or colleagues or even some old classmates, but a sad one for friends and relatives.
jjfoooo4over 3 years ago
I’ve found it very helpful to take a bit more “forced” approach in maintaining relationships, especially as I am very poor at remembering names and biographical details.<p>I just have a notion doc called “people.” At first people have just a name and a physical description, along with where I met them. That just helps me remember names.<p>But with my partner, different subsections have emerged, with gift ideas, movies to watch, fun things we could do.<p>The approach outlined in this doc seems to focus on scaling the number of people you can keep in touch with. I struggle to see how this is different than traditional social media - eg the impersonal happy birthdays we’ve all come to ignore in Facebook.
pdr94over 3 years ago
This is very well constructed but this is like a full time job in itself!<p>I also worry that such a systematic method won&#x27;t result in meaningful connections and could actually result in annoying your contacts or wasting their time..?
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giordsover 3 years ago
&quot;simple system&quot; -&gt; requires engineering skills and a full article to explain it.<p>Keeping social interactions this way is kind of sad and gray, just keep less people around but with some quality time invested for them.
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unkulunkuluover 3 years ago
I see this easily implementable in Obsidian with Dataview plugin, with random notes about ppl to boot. Like gift ideas etc. I have notes for important people in my life anyway cause I have terrible memory :&#x2F;
mdaover 3 years ago
I find it very odd that someone categorizes people &#x2F; friends into buckets and have a schedule to communicate with them. If o knew someone is writing me because of a schedule it would put me off immediately.
OgAstorgaover 3 years ago
I don&#x27;t think this is &quot;spammy&quot; nor &quot;unnatural&quot;. There are important persons in our life that are worth keeping contact with for the sake of keeping contact with.<p>If you create this list and it&#x27;s only filled with people that could be helpful to you in the future (agents?). Maybe it&#x27;s time to recall that we the people are ends rather than means to themselves.<p>Second, Mental memory is lossy. Sometimes you move for a while to another city. It&#x27;s easy to get distracted and forget to keep in touch with the people you love.
jkirsteinsover 3 years ago
There seems to be a non-fringe sentiment that &quot;this is pretending to care&quot; or &quot;you can&#x27;t automate friendship&quot;, etc.<p>I see where it&#x27;s coming from, and I agree to some extent - I wouldn&#x27;t want to be contacted &quot;for the sake of it&quot;. Feeling like it&#x27;s a chore for the other person that they have to get through, in the hopes of some (maybe financial?) reward at the end of it.<p>However, I think this approach warrants some defense against the &quot;I would purposefully avoid people like this&quot; reaction.<p>Using myself as an example - I have considered doing something similar, and I liked the article a lot. And it&#x27;s not because I &quot;want to hack some serendipity&quot;, but because I genuinly have a hard time finding enough time for all the things that matter in life. Having a system in place doesn&#x27;t mean it&#x27;s fake, it means you are prioritizing this aspect of your life (i.e. you care enough) and are finding ways to fit it into everything else you have going on.<p>In a normal workday I spend ~9 hours in &quot;work mode&quot;. I want to fit in ~1-2h of running every day to counteract my sedentary lifestyle. I need to spend some quality time with the immediate family (wife and kids) - let&#x27;s say ~2 hours. And there are additional little everyday tasks that need to happen every day - shopping, helping kids with their homework, doing the dishes, etc.<p>How much time does this leave to socialize? I will occasionally think of some friend or another, and miss them. But I won&#x27;t have time to reach out in the moment. And then - e.g. when the weekend comes - who do I reach out to? Do I spend every saturday just calling everybody in a row?<p>I enjoy catching up with my friends, but it takes a lot of energy for me. I can&#x27;t feasibly reach out to everybody in a given weekend - it would leave me completely drained, and exhausted.<p>So I prioritize. I try to reach out to people I haven&#x27;t spoken to in a longer time period. Or people I know have had some life event happen recently, etc. I try to find a way to keep in touch with most people, instead of just a few of them.<p>But here&#x27;s my issue - it&#x27;s hard to remember how to schedule who to get in touch with, and when. &quot;Did I last talk to X 1 week or 2 weeks ago? Should I get in touch with Y instead?&quot; etc.<p>Now, I could start taking paper notes, or look at my calendar, etc. But at this point I&#x27;m setting up some mental system to help me with the scheduling. Which is basically just a different (possibly less efficient) flavor of what&#x27;s described in the article.<p>Now, maybe I&#x27;m projecting, and this doesn&#x27;t apply to many others. But please consider - if you feel someone in your life is reaching out through automated means - that they might really care, and just have a hard time figuring out how to do it otherwise. If scheduling catch ups comes naturally to you, it might not to others.<p>(and I know the article mentions &quot;serendipity&quot; and is not necessarily about catching up with close friends. I think it works well for both)
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p0dover 3 years ago
I don&#x27;t want to keep in touch with more people than I have digits. I would call the desire to do so marketing; that is marketing yourself or your business. Which is fine if this is your motivation.<p>Friendship is your partner who sticks by you. It is the person you go for walks with and just talk. It is the person you meet for lunch and you argue about who pays. It is the person who knows what is going on in your life. It is the person whose floor you have slept on. It is the person who listens to you and then takes action.
tau5210over 3 years ago
It depends on the type of relationship to some extent e.g. friends, acquaintances, business relations, etc.<p>But in general, I feel like we are too self-conscious about staying in touch. And often because we have experiences where something happens in our lives and we find ourselves regretting &quot;I wish I had stayed in touch with ----&quot;.<p>But when that happens, maybe we can ask ourselves: even if I had stayed in touch, would it really have turned out as I am fantasizing now in my regret? If we think about it carefully, I think the answer is probably no. A meaningful relationship is not that simple nor easy.<p>As others have mentioned, a relationship is two-ways so it takes both sides. And it only takes one to remember occasionally to stay in touch, so if we both were interested in each other, most likely we would have remained in touch already. And even if we had not, it&#x27;s never too late. With such relations, I find that I can just reach out now and resume the same relationship no matter how much time passes in between. Even in the worst case where I don&#x27;t have the contact anymore, if I were truly determined, I will do everything I can to find a way to reach that person.<p>On the other hand, a shallow relation is bound to not get too far: it will fail (or break, or be lost, etc) at some point in one way or another anyway. So it most likely wouldn&#x27;t have turned out as my regret is fantasizing anyway.
barbazooover 3 years ago
This is related to an idea I had for a &quot;todo&quot; app that I haven&#x27;t found anywhere yet. Every task can implement some kind of flexible occurrence. It&#x27;s for tasks that should be done but the exact date isn&#x27;t very important and the recurrence interval starts again not the last time the task became &quot;due&quot; but the last time it was done.<p>It fits many kinds of tasks, watering plants, checking a furnace filter, ... but also staying in touch with people.<p>Does anyone know of a service or app like that?
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jacobrussellover 3 years ago
I have an extremely similar system hacked together myself. It has definitely been a game changer for my relationships. I created it because I decided about a year ago I wanted to be a better friend, and the best friends I had were extremely intentional. I wasn&#x27;t going to just get more intentional naturally, so this system helped me get there. Being able to reflect on what we talked about last time and get reminded to reach out after on a predefined interval is extremely helpful!
dvh1990over 3 years ago
I get why someone may need tools like this, especially if they are in sales or a similar profession, but I can&#x27;t help thinking how disingenuous this is.<p>Moreover, it&#x27;s easy for me to sniff out and block people who try to keep me &quot;engaged&quot; with systems like this.<p>If you want to engaged me, I hope you have a specific reason to do so.<p>If I want to engage you I will just do it and you can bet that I won&#x27;t waste your time on idle chit-chat.<p>Otherwise, I have friends and family that don&#x27;t get enough of my time as it is.
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PhantomBKBover 3 years ago
When I was in school, I&#x27;d get home and call at least 2-3 friends on a daily basis on the landline, just to chat or ask what all homeworks we were supposed to do for the next day. We lost touch after we graduated and went our separate ways. But what I miss the most from those times was how interconnected our lives were. We&#x27;d hang out together all the time in school, then come home and talk on the telephone. After exams, we&#x27;d meet up at someone&#x27;s house for a sleepover, play video games and gossip about school all night long.<p>I have tried implementing a similar lifestyle with my new friends as I grew older, but it just didn&#x27;t work. I realized then, that the kind of bond we shared was a rarity and others had not had such an experience. I barely call anyone now. And more importantly, I feel uncomfortable calling people. Like I&#x27;m disturbing them. However, back in school days it was the telephoning that made us the great friends we were because we got to have 1 on 1 conversations with each other very often.<p>In recent times, texting has destroyed the telephoning culture. I absolutely detest texting, but all of my peers are doing it. I wish times were a little simpler.
k__over 3 years ago
a friend of mine would send all people he knew new years wishes via regular mail.<p>It was hundreds of letters he would all print out and sign manually.<p>Most people would ignore it, a few even found it offiensive fo receive a mass letter.<p>But every year dozens answered with a happy reply.
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ddubskiover 3 years ago
One of my mom’s friends has a great method for keeping in touch with people. He keeps one of those daily tear-off calendars (filled with cat&#x2F;dad jokes) on his desk. Each day he looks at the joke and decides who it reminds him, then just tears that page off and mails it to the person, along with his business card. No further explanation or note involved. I guess he just needs a lot of stamps.
pitouliover 3 years ago
With my brother, we recently created a small app dedicated to this task: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;app.kipinto.ch" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;app.kipinto.ch</a><p>It&#x27;s available on the web, on Android and on iOS, under the name Kipinto<p>This app is not specifically targeted to follow your friends, which happens quite naturally, but more to keep in touch with those persons that you consider important but with whom you have no &quot;natural&quot; occasion to interact: an old colleague or client for example.<p>You can see screenshots on the website <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;kipinto.ch" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;kipinto.ch</a> or on the app stores, but description is in French (even if the app is available in English)<p>An interesting observation we have done, is that by making the effort of taking notes of what you talked about, you remember better --even without reading the notes-- next time you see the person.<p>It can feel &quot;disgusting&quot;, but in fact the effort of keeping contact with a person when it is not easy to do so should be seen as a positive sign of your intention to strengthen this relationship.
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sublimefireover 3 years ago
If this system is used as a gateway to schedule a meeting or ask for a favor then might be all right! Like, if you&#x27;re honest and say &quot;hey I did even setup a reminder to make sure we agree on our next meetup that we talked about earlier&quot;. And then remove it from the reminders and make sure to follow up as with a normal friend if they want to. A reminder has to have a specific reason, and &quot;say hi&quot; is not specific enough.<p>Otherwise, nobody wants (downvoted posts at the bottom) to get a message from a person who did it because a CRON job sent a reminder to their email, this is how sales people work. Furthermore classification should not be that explicit, yes we have our favorite acquaintances, but not with labels in the lists. Labels have a weird side effect, what if you follow up and have a convo and them meet a person, do you go back to the list and elevate their status?
ferran_rover 3 years ago
Actually this is sad
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Taylor_ODover 3 years ago
I have a semifinished website that does something similar. It lets you schedule reminders to reach out to people you care about at set intervals. The difference is that it texts you the reminder and will add in suggestions of what to reach out to them about.<p>I find that having something to say is just as hard as remembering to reach out.
pdimitarover 3 years ago
Oh yeah, great. More beeping from my calendar. Sure. :(<p>I know networking is important but many people don&#x27;t evoke the &quot;I want to keep in touch with this person!&quot; response instinctively and naturally in me.<p>And I am not at all introverted, quite sociable in fact -- but not the proverbial extrovert that <i>feeds</i> on communication either; I am one of these people that needs time to recharge the social battery, however it does recharge rather quickly (I know I can have social events with people outside two times a week; sometimes three).<p>I mean, squint hard enough and almost every problem can be reduced to &quot;let&#x27;s use machines to poke us in the butt because we forgot to do this or that&quot;. No thanks. Good cause and I agree we need to keep in touch but I&#x27;ll keep searching for other, less stressful and schedule-oriented, methods.
jakobovover 3 years ago
I also do this and it&#x27;s really nice. But use a recurring Google calendar event. Way more simple
KptMarchewaover 3 years ago
If you&#x27;re doing something remotely similar to this, please, just add unsubscribe button.
bendouglasover 3 years ago
I built a system like this, and loved it enough that I built an app to do what the author describes: <a href="http:&#x2F;&#x2F;parsnipapp.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;parsnipapp.com&#x2F;</a><p>Totally free, with no plans to monetize it. Having an easy system like this adds enough value to me and my friends who use it to continue to develop and maintain it.<p>I love the author&#x27;s automation for sending an email digest, I think that&#x27;s a great feature that I&#x27;ll add to the roadmap. Up next for development I&#x27;d like to add reminders for specific days (eg., birthdays, trip reminders, w&#x2F;e).<p>If anyone gives the app a shot, I&#x27;d love to hear from you. Feedback is appreciated!
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laurexover 3 years ago
I don&#x27;t think there&#x27;s a problem with the formula here in terms of maintaining professional contacts, but it does seem like an interesting--and quite recent--phenomenon that staying in touch with hundreds of people is even desirable unless you are doing sales.<p>There&#x27;s certainly utility and yet, it&#x27;s staggering just how few people do the more rewarding and impactful (with lots of research to back it up) work of daily connection with one or two people.<p>I would venture to say that it&#x27;s even more &#x27;socially acceptable&#x27; to put effort into cultivating weak ties that stay weak than to do the work to transform non-romantic relationships into close friendships.
jjiceover 3 years ago
I have a similar system, but mine is just a Python script and a text file. I hardcode people in the file in different categories and the file stores the recently contacted people. Once the file is the same length as the hardcoded people, the script clears it and we start anew. It emails me an idea of an opening line that I can expand upon so I can streamline the contacting, since I could sit down for 5 minutes without thinking how to open a conversation.<p>I really like systems like this. Some of my favorite things on HN are about automating life, but without removing the &quot;you&quot; part of it, just making it easier to manage.<p>PS: if anyone has any examples, I&#x27;d love to hear.
jb1991over 3 years ago
Oh good god. The things people do, like every aspect of life can be automated with code.
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a1445c8bover 3 years ago
I also have a database I created with Airtable! Although I’m rather weary of using “free” 3rd-party systems and considering using one I have better control over.<p>I’m thinking an SQLite db with a separate open source data viewer&#x2F;editor
surfsvammelover 3 years ago
I have a very similar system. I use Trello. I have one column called 1M, one called 3M, one called 6M (representing how often I want to reach out to them). Each card is one person and the cards have a field on them that is called: Last Contact. Every week, or so, I have a look at the Trello board. I look at the top cards in each column and if it’s time to reach out, I do so, update the Last Contact field, and move that card to the bottom of that column.<p>Sometimes I add notes to the cards.<p>That’s it!<p>Edit; The reason I don’t have one big list, is that I’ve gotten a sense of how long each list can be for it to be manageable.
Mikhoover 3 years ago
It&#x27;s not clear why would anybody try to force a communication when there is no common interest, project, or actually any reason to communicate. It always looks fake and inevitably ends with discomfort. It&#x27;s worth staying in touch if there is a topic to discuss, or mutual interest. If the whole routine is just for your own mental comfort that you are a &quot;good&quot; socialite, it&#x27;s worth thinking twice before contacting yet another person out of the blue.<p>It&#x27;s better to just go to a bar and meet new people instead of trying to return to the past.
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TuLithuover 3 years ago
It never ceases to amaze me how computer programmers can take the simplest things and make them mind-numbingly complex. Oy ve (and yes, I&#x27;m a programmer)! But if it makes him happy, more power to him.
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paraditeover 3 years ago
This looks really nice. I don&#x27;t use airtable, but I use Notion and the formulas in the post seems similar to those in Notion database. I wonder if it is possible to do something similar in Notion.
samsolomonover 3 years ago
For those of you who are trying to leave social media—this is an excellent way to keep in touch.<p>When you&#x27;re on Twitter or Instagram, it&#x27;s easy to see a picture or comment and message them about it. Or when you see someone&#x27;s birthday on Facebook. When either you or your friends&#x2F;family&#x2F;acquaintances leave that social network, it&#x27;s easy to lose track of one another.<p>I built something similar to this in Notion last year. It&#x27;s a great way to keep contact with individuals—wherever they are—and not just a social profile.
bncyover 3 years ago
It sounds good for business contacts or people that you might want to interact with for specific reason, but for anyone else?<p>Why would one force their interaction with people if it&#x27;s not genuine.
nagarjunover 3 years ago
I&#x27;m curious to hear your results from using this system. How long have you been running it for and what did you get out of it? I understand that the point of doing this is to not expect anything in return but, that&#x27;s a little misleading because it&#x27;s hard to have honest conversations in regular frequencies with people you barely know (B, C, D list). What do you do when people don&#x27;t respond? Do you take them off the list?
andersonmvdover 3 years ago
The problem is when you know someone contacted you because of their &#x27;system&#x27;. I feel less compelled to reply. It feels more that the person is doing their chores and you are just helping them to get the task done. Somewhat similar because people only reminded of you because facebook displayed on their timeline that it was your birthday. No right or wrong here, but when it&#x27;s not genuine it&#x27;s not genuine and period.
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jugglerjerover 3 years ago
I love the tips on what to write. I make a Personal CRM called Queue (<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;queue.community" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;queue.community</a>) and the biggest reason people stop using it is that they just don&#x27;t know what to say when it&#x27;s time to reach out. The truth is people on the receiving end of catch up requests are almost always happy to chat, and it&#x27;s often enough just to say hi.
viachover 3 years ago
If these other people have similar systems you could even authomate it via shared API so that they are just doing ping-pong of howareyou-imfine. Win-win!
da39a3eeover 3 years ago
Perhaps the people that should be at the absolute top of our list to contact are the ones that have bothered contacting us over the years?<p>Other than that I don’t have much to add — I’m absolutely terrible at this and my life suffers as a result. If probably enjoy building a tool like this but the problem is I don’t enjoy reaching out to people. Although I would enjoy the consequences of having reached out.
chrischenover 3 years ago
Would be a great if there was an app that helped you do social like this. Sort of like a Facebook that works for you instead of against you.
Extropy_over 3 years ago
This reminded me of something I believe I saw on here some time ago: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;github.com&#x2F;monicahq&#x2F;monica" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;github.com&#x2F;monicahq&#x2F;monica</a><p>EDIT: Yeah, I saw it here on HN (<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=25270001" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=25270001</a>).
harry8over 3 years ago
This was the selling point of facebook and why people clicked away their privacy to the great surveillance machine.<p>Note how ridiculous facebook seems as a solution to this problem now? Facebook has to go, delete it. Regulate it hard. Burn it to the ground if that&#x27;s the only way.<p>The bait and switch &#x2F;must&#x2F; have consequences for ethical reasons IMHO.
rattrayover 3 years ago
I like this. I&#x27;ve done something vaguely similar but more lightweight&#x2F;ad-hoc, which is to just send an email to, eg, &quot;every3months@followupthen.com&quot; with the subject line &quot;Get in touch with so-and-so&quot;.<p>A proper Airtable of contacts, or a tool like Monica, sounds great – just nervous that it&#x27;ll fall out of date.
nannaover 3 years ago
Could imagine you could do something like this in Emacs org mode just by keeping a repeated SCHEDULED: datestamp under someone&#x27;s name, say in a file called contacts.org? Using airtables seems a bit overengineered<p><pre><code> * Contacts * Alissa p hacker SCHEDULED: &lt;2022-03-14 Mon .+3m&gt;</code></pre>
leathersoftover 3 years ago
Interesting. I’ve got to say, a bit cold, but I agree that is definitely better than no reach outs at all.
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jdlygaover 3 years ago
This is exactly what I need. I&#x27;m so bad at keeping in contact with friends, extended family, ex-coworkers. I try to make an effort for a few weeks &#x2F; months, but I end up getting distracted by a stressful new work project, school, new stuff going on at home, etc.
rattrayover 3 years ago
Has anyone used the Google Contacts &#x2F; Airtable integration? <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.airtable.com&#x2F;integrations&#x2F;googlecontacts" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.airtable.com&#x2F;integrations&#x2F;googlecontacts</a>
micromacrofootover 3 years ago
I haven&#x27;t talked to anyone outside of my family since the beginning of the pandemic and I assume the fact that no one&#x27;s contacted me means I shouldn&#x27;t bother? Not really sure how this kind of thing works.
stevecatover 3 years ago
I think the people I&#x27;d put in &quot;Group D&quot; would be the ones that respond immediately and expect an ongoing conversation. I can&#x27;t imagine reaching out once a year to confirm we&#x27;re both still alive!
zeropover 3 years ago
I think touching base with people should be more spontaneous, real and relevant.
bencollier49over 3 years ago
Just use a spreadsheet?<p>Does having a list of friends on a spreadsheet make you a data controller?
city17over 3 years ago
I could see this being helpful with staying in touch with people you don&#x27;t want to be friends but you want to keep up to date with professionally. Using this for your personal life is just sad.
tomdekanover 3 years ago
A great system!
rlewkovover 3 years ago
I keep a spreadsheet with name in first col and one col for every month and in cells I put day of month for birthday. I also use this as my Christmas card list and my keep in touch list
kaioelfkeover 3 years ago
Spreadsheets can work quite well for this. I made an iOS app as side project inspired by this post from Derek Sivers.<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;amicu.app" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;amicu.app</a>
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mannykoumover 3 years ago
This is pretty cool! You can even add a birthday reminder; or even a name-day reminder if you&#x27;re greek and my father who&#x27;s kinda obsessive with these things.
camillomillerover 3 years ago
&quot;We needed a tutor<p>So built a computer<p>And programmed ourselves not to see<p>The truth and the lying<p>The dead and the dying<p>A silent majority&quot;
lord-bazookaover 3 years ago
I had built a free app to automate periodic tasks like this: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;tododock.com" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;tododock.com</a>
tekknikover 3 years ago
My approach is I don’t have hundreds of people I need to contact regularly. It works very well. This very procedural method of communication reeks of compassion.<p>&#x2F;s
jeffrallenover 3 years ago
Man, I hope I never get on that guy&#x27;s list...
MrYellowPover 3 years ago
So he&#x27;s treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he&#x27;d not need to be reminded of contacting them.<p>He&#x27;d <i>miss</i> contacting them.<p>So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that &quot;friend&quot; he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them.<p>It&#x27;s incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illusion of a social life, is being dictated by a machine.
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arisAlexisover 3 years ago
Integration with Google contacts would be awesome because I already have them all there in groups and with notes.
pishpashover 3 years ago
Asymmetric? Ok, it take somebody else&#x27;s time, too. Reaching out is no work for people with no real work.
3qzover 3 years ago
I would immediately block someone if I found out they were doing this to me. Disgusting behaviour.
slt2021over 3 years ago
CRM for friendships, is it really a friendship after that or a customer&#x2F;lead&#x2F;prospect?
theltrjover 3 years ago
effectively you&#x27;ve created your own personal Sales&#x2F;Marketing DRIP campaign, neat, <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Drip_marketing" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Drip_marketing</a>
ThinkBeatover 3 years ago
Sometimes a blogpost can seem a lot like marketing of a product with a story spun around it.
smm11over 3 years ago
Wow. I don&#x27;t know enough people even begin something like this, but impressive!
patwater10over 3 years ago
I too live for the honor of being a line in someone&#x27;s spreadsheet
kanonieerover 3 years ago
My immediate reaction to this: this is a form of sociopathic behavior.<p>Then, I read the comments and saw that every person who came to the same conclusion is downvoted to hell. So I&#x27;m just adding this comment in solidarity with people who possess some sort of emotional intuition &#x2F; &quot;yikes radar&quot;. You&#x27;re not alone.
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ggmover 3 years ago
Hi %famous-person% have my free %upvote-or-acknowledgement% for implementing a %faux-human-response%.<p>Do I now have to do traffic analysis on my received mails to detect which ones have suspicious periodicity to measure my A,B or C-dom?<p>D I know: its the Christmas form letter.
rnknover 3 years ago
Something that really freaks me out about the world is how much power tech people have and that their sociopathic behaviour, like treating all your personal relationships as transactional data, is considered a &quot;simple system&quot;.
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mro_nameover 3 years ago
would have expected a plain text aproach.
vlokshinover 3 years ago
Simple and authentic feel like they&#x27;re the magic formula here. Deceptively difficult to balance.<p>For personal, I&#x27;m trying my best to text people when they come to mind. I always appreciate when someone does that to me.<p>For business, I&#x27;m trying <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.strata.cc&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.strata.cc&#x2F;</a>, which uses your email history to nudge you to reconnect with people. I&#x27;m just starting to use it but has already made some spot on recommendations in the first couple of weeks.
architextureover 3 years ago
Why do we need to optimize everything?
alexb_over 3 years ago
It&#x27;s completely and utterly superficial. You just cannot stay in touch with hundreds of people - it&#x27;s not possible, unless you are doing so superficially and treating &quot;friends&quot; as &quot;things I need to check up on so I don&#x27;t lose a node to a network of people that might be helpful to me&quot;.<p>Completely maxed out, humans can only have about 150 friends[1]. Trying to have more is just not being genuine. And think about the other side of this - what if you learned someone you thought actually cared about you, or that you actually considered a friend, was using a fucking automated system to &quot;stay in touch&quot;. It&#x27;s sociopath behavior.<p>[1]<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Dunbar%27s_number" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Dunbar%27s_number</a>
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runjakeover 3 years ago
My initial thought as I read the first paragraph was: this seems kind of sociopathic (in a non-dramatic way).<p>I ended the article with &quot;hmm, a system like this could be directly useful to me, especially at work.&quot;
lelandfeover 3 years ago
If I read a post on my friend’s blog exposing that their occasional texts had genesis in an automation and not genuine interest I would try very hard to not talk to that person<p>Unsubscribe, please
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