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I need to stop being boring

289 pointsby patrickzabout 3 years ago

60 comments

PragmaticPulpabout 3 years ago
&gt; I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.<p>I was starting to feel this way before I had kids, but having kids completely changed everything for the more interesting.<p>It’s funny because it’s the exact opposite of what I was told would happen: The story goes that you have kids, lose yourself, and become a boring old parent. Instead, I’m never lacking for fun or creative ideas because I can pick up a creative and hilarious child and go do literally anything together and we’ll have a good time. I’m meeting more new and interesting people than I have at any point since college simply by doing parent things and meeting other parents. I still have time to work on one specific side project, but I’ve learned to stop grinding through the side projects that I didn’t really enjoy anyway. Becoming a parent is a great forcing function to get out and shake up your priorities.<p>Obviously I’m not recommending becoming a parent as a solution to this problem. However, I wanted to note that the realities of becoming a parent are literally the opposite of what I was led to believe by peers and social media while growing up. Contrary to everything I was told, it’s actually the childless people and couples I know who are entering these periods of “boring” where they struggle for interest or motivation or meaning, while us parents are off having an extremely non-boring and fun time with this new chapter.
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nonrandomstringabout 3 years ago
&gt; So what went wrong? My gut feeling is that I am boring.<p>A lot of pain seems to come from a poor vocabulary about feelings. What is boring? It&#x27;s a weak and flattened word like the feelings it&#x27;s used about.<p>Do you mean avolition, acedia, irascibility, dissatisfaction, insensibility, repression, discouragement, ambivalence, anxiety? The Psychology of the Emotions by Neal Burton is a fair place to continue the introspective journey you&#x27;ve started [1].<p>&gt; I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.<p>Comfortably Numb. There&#x27;s a dose of it going around. Don&#x27;t worry it&#x27;s an acute condition. All progress depends upon the unreasonable man. You need to stop being reasonable. Take a good look at the world, and notice there&#x27;s still plenty to be really, healthily <i>angry</i> about, and so much to be joyously <i>in love</i> with. Just don&#x27;t give in to ambivalence or settle for the illusion of comfort and safety life seems to be showing you. Take a risk on it.<p>[1] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.psychologytoday.com&#x2F;us&#x2F;blog&#x2F;hide-and-seek&#x2F;201601&#x2F;what-are-basic-emotions" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.psychologytoday.com&#x2F;us&#x2F;blog&#x2F;hide-and-seek&#x2F;201601...</a>
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rr808about 3 years ago
I&#x27;m afraid most tech people need to get out more. The job is hard, side projects are fun and you need to leetcode in your spare time to get a job. However its very easy to be boring. People benefit from making non-tech friends, play sports, travel, read novels, learn about spirituality, make music, build furniture but I dont see a lot of that happening. I&#x27;m a corporate cog and its my biggest regret.
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last_one_inabout 3 years ago
Drop stuff that doesn&#x27;t work. I started programming as a kid. 40 years ago. I wrote a game with a friend while we were at school. It made us a tiny amount of money for 3 years work. I dropped out of programming (several times now). I travelled, close to home, and working in return for food and accomadation (with a scheme called WWOOF). I&#x27;ve done farm work, forestry, woodworking, butchery, construction, blacksmithing. At the moment I&#x27;m trying to make a living turning wool from friend&#x27;s sheep into yarn and hats. Honestly. I accidentally came up with a game and put it online last week cos I thought the idea was funny and interesting, like Randall Monroe&#x27;s &quot;What If?&quot; (which I was listening to on audiobook before I got the idea). Chances are I just blew a hundred pounds on hosting and domains but maybe, just maybe, it&#x27;ll bring some money in somehow. otherwise I&#x27;ll just keep on crocheting. Or some other thing. Don&#x27;t be one thing. Do shit that you love. Last year I tried making and selling homemade excavator toys (here&#x27;s an early prototype: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=J5gQZs8edzs&amp;ab_channel=JamesWilder" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=J5gQZs8edzs&amp;ab_channel=James...</a>). Fuck about. Just don&#x27;t sit at a desk trying to build the next big thing cos there are thousands of others doing the same. Find what&#x27;s unique and special about you, even if it&#x27;s something small. And run with it. Are you boring? What&#x27;s the craziest story you can tell about yourself?
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superasnabout 3 years ago
I don&#x27;t think you&#x27;re boring but I do think your brain is feeling cheated for putting in all this work over and over and not getting the dopamine rewards for it afterwards (which in most cases is often praise or money).<p>I think you need some small wins to keep your motivation going. I read this quote here on hacker news which was very eye opening for me at the time(1). This idealogy of using small wins while you&#x27;re chasing a big win has helped me a lot when things aren&#x27;t going your way. I&#x27;m a indie hacker too would be happy to tell you some strategies I&#x27;ve developed for creating small wins (though most of them are very specific to my product &#x2F; industry so I can&#x27;t say how useful it would be to you)<p>(1) <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=5630618" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=5630618</a>
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burntwaterabout 3 years ago
I&#x27;m boring. I know I&#x27;m boring, and I&#x27;m bored as a result of being boring. I suspect a good part of it is bog standard depression. Tied into that is the difficulty of learning new things; I have a lot of things I WANT to learn, but when I get home at the end of the day I just don&#x27;t have the mental energy.<p>I recently moved across the country and currently have precisely nothing happening outside of work; no friends, no family, no romantic partners or dates. I got so bored, I finally setup my dusty, unused piano keyboard, installed a piano learning app on my iPad, and started working through the basics.<p>It&#x27;s like a fire was lit in my brain. Or an explosion, or something. I haven&#x27;t felt that energized in ages. I&#x27;ve been practicing every day since, sometimes for upwards of 2 hours straight (my grade school music teachers would be shocked to hear that). I quickly realized the limitations of the first keyboard (a Roland Go:Keys) and went searching for a &quot;real&quot; digital piano. The first time I laid hands on the keyboard I ended up purchasing (a Korg) I felt an immediate sense of calm and happiness.<p>I have a couple theories for why I&#x27;ve reacted this way, when I&#x27;ve struggled with so many other things I want to learn: - Music uses an entirely different part of the brain from my technical day job. - There is <i>immediate</i> progress. - Likely related, but I took a couple years of lessons in grade school. I&#x27;m likely feeling the reawakening of long dormant brain connections. Which strengthens the above two points.<p>It has only been a week, honestly only time will tell how long this lasts, but maybe it&#x27;s jump started I needed to move on to other things I want to learn and be less boring.
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shaftoe444about 3 years ago
Archive for others getting a database error: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;web.archive.org&#x2F;web&#x2F;20220406064123&#x2F;https:&#x2F;&#x2F;patzhong.com&#x2F;stop-being-boring&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;web.archive.org&#x2F;web&#x2F;20220406064123&#x2F;https:&#x2F;&#x2F;patzhong....</a>
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bohabout 3 years ago
There&#x27;s something obviously wrong in assuming some blanket &quot;creativity&quot; will satisfy whatever needs you may have, but popular cultural heuristics makes it seem right. Just as &quot;innovation&quot; is the solution for every problem, somehow divorcing yourself from your natural inclinations and increasing your risk is the right way to go. What is it the writer wants exactly? Some unknown nirvana of personal expression where you get to escape &quot;the world as it is&quot; and submerge into a childish &quot;sense of wonder&quot;?<p>Accepting reality is often expressed as settling into some depressing malaise, while &quot;imagining&quot; something &quot;better&quot; is the more proactive, positive choice by default. I will make a bet that whatever spurt of creative &quot;not boring&quot; thing the writer does next will distract for some time and then they will be right back where they started from.<p>The world needs more people capable of dealing with &quot;the world as it is&quot; and make the boring choice of taking responsibility for it. It&#x27;s doing the long, boring, thankless tasks that this requires, instead of flailing around in the shallow depths of narcissistic self-actualization, that grants purpose and meaning to what you do. Don&#x27;t let culture bully you into it&#x27;s incoherent projections of success and relevance. Being committed,consistent, focused and responsible is boring. Be boring.
brittonrtabout 3 years ago
After doing programming and being involved in startups for well over a decade, I decided I don&#x27;t actually like coding nor startups anymore. I still have a company I run with my partners, and I still treat it like my &#x27;job&#x27;, but there&#x27;s no passion there. Instead, I&#x27;ve discovered writing novels, music, and other artsy-fartsy stuff as my new passion of the last few years (it had always been a hobby, but I&#x27;m taking it much more seriously... not because it&#x27;ll ever make money, but because I enjoy doing it!)<p>So my long-winded point is, I don&#x27;t think there&#x27;s anything wrong with this. Only you know what your interests are, but don&#x27;t be afraid to follow them wherever they lead. If you aren&#x27;t bored, you aren&#x27;t boring.
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shaftoe444about 3 years ago
I had this same realisation about 6 weeks ago, I had fallen into a routine that was not bad but also never challenging or surprising. Since then I have been trying a bunch of new things to kick myself out of the rut.<p>A simple idea is to take things you enjoy and do them with other people, for me this meant doing classes at the gym instead of working out at home, booking art classes rather than trying to learn from a book. In some cases this has been amazing (I found an olympic weightlifting class that is the most fun I&#x27;ve had in years), in some cases not so amazing but still glad I tried.<p>Also I have started meditating (again within a teacher). For me the chief advantage of this is to start noticing your own patterns, and to be more deliberate in what you do. It has helped.<p>ymmv
donatjabout 3 years ago
&gt; I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.<p>God that strikes close to home.<p>I have genuinely pondered how 10-15 years ago when I didn’t know what I was doing, I had a million project ideas and just went for them with no real plan. Some of them panned out, most of them didn’t. Many I still maintain today came out of that raw energy. These days when I do (rarely) come up with a project, I know off the bat how I am going to build it. I’ve been blinded to possibility by my own experience.
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codingdaveabout 3 years ago
I&#x27;m not making the connections in the article - business success isn&#x27;t about whether or not you are boring. Neither is happiness. They even said they were happy. Just not motivated. But living a simple and happy life is not a bad thing. Being boring is different than being bored. Enjoying boring hobbies is still enjoying your world. I don&#x27;t need to entertain others to live a fulfilling life.<p>So if the author has problems they want to fix with their work or life, by all means fix them. But &quot;being boring&quot; is not a problem in and of itself.
IceDaneabout 3 years ago
While I understand the urge to improve one&#x27;s life, I really feel like we have in general sort of gone off the rails in our quest for a better life.<p>What we have instead is now some kind of social-media-fueled, angst-driven obsession about self-optimization. Everyone is constantly obsessed with themselves and their own performance in every aspect of life.<p>Are you efficient enough? Are you productive enough? Are you eating healthy enough? Are you fun enough? etc<p>As if this wasn&#x27;t enough, we can&#x27;t really decide which way we want to go. Because you can&#x27;t be <i>too</i> efficient or productive, either, since you should obviously also be relaxing and unstressing enough. And spending enough time with your family. But also writing that blog, creating side projects, and so on.<p>In the end this just creates an endless cycle of sadness and frustration because you&#x27;re not a machine. You can&#x27;t fulfill all the unrealistic goals you&#x27;ve set for yourself because you&#x27;re not a robot.<p>I&#x27;ve given up on trying to pursue these unrealistic goals and trying to constantly self-optimize. It doesn&#x27;t mean I&#x27;m just content to wallow in my own filth or that I give up on life. It just means I&#x27;m not gonna write a blog post about myself where I call myself boring because I&#x27;m not able to magically conjure up a viral side project. It means I&#x27;m not gonna compare myself to countless youtubers or instagrammers who paint the prettiest pictures of themselves they can.
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ganzuulabout 3 years ago
Do you remember a long, long time ago seeing something gorgeous, like a colorful mineral gem, or the early morning sun on a verdant canopy, and something deep inside of you wanted to consume it? Perhaps you registered that it was not a source of sustenance for your body and still this strange notion persisted?<p>This is an important faculty for your happiness and creativity. It does not care at all for your logic and reasoning, and thankfully so because our minds would otherwise quickly dispose of it as error and synesthesia.<p>Now that you know that the sanity brought by your enormous intellectual achievements don&#x27;t bring you happiness, perhaps it is time to explore this insanity that has patiently waited for your attention.<p>Namaskar, seeker
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evandaleabout 3 years ago
This blog post seems like a page taken straight out of my journal. Bored with life, knowing I need a change, but not having any motivation to do anything about it. I find it hard to meet new people because I perceive myself as being boring so it&#x27;s hard to put myself out there.<p>I went jogging&#x2F;walking yesterday to start out C25K. I got into cycling last year and I&#x27;ve always loved swimming so I was joking all summer that I could do a triathlon if I learned how to enjoy running.<p>One thing that I might have discovered yesterday is it seems that if I love my equipment I also enjoy using it. I&#x27;m so proud of my bike and love it to death and it makes me so happy to pull it out and ride it around. I&#x27;ve been poking around running shoe stores to find a pair of shoes to run in the last few weeks and I absolutely fell in love with the pair I bought yesterday. I felt so happy putting them on yesterday to run in.<p>I&#x27;m not sure what I can do to fall in love with coding again though. I built a brand new computer last year hoping that would make me want to code but it didn&#x27;t really bring me the joy my shoes or bike brings me. I worry that I&#x27;m over programming but I have no idea what I could replace it with to earn a living.
karmakazeabout 3 years ago
The article makes a number of keen observations. I don&#x27;t like how it gets summed up as &quot;stop being boring&quot;, as if &#x27;being boring&#x27; is a thing rather than the lack of something.<p>I went through a period of not having an interest I was passionate about. This normally happens but it was for a longer than usual period. I eventually recognized it and made small efforts to find new interests. The pandemic both forced the situation as well as make space to try out new stuff. One of those long-standing things was to play video games which I enjoyed so much growing up and now can never seem to prioritize. Sure it doesn&#x27;t necessarily have real-world value, but it&#x27;s something I could enjoy as a minor pastime as I did Go (board game) when I was on a binge.<p>The part that seems hard as an older adult is that we have less patience for being bad at something at the start when the going is slow. We have to find a way of enjoying the process rather than the results.
MrPowersabout 3 years ago
&gt; I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.<p>The best way to expand your perspective of the world is move to a new country with a different culture, learn a new language, and make local friends.<p>I recently moved to Brasil and am learning Portuguese. The language barrier is difficult. Learning how to communicate indirectly is hard. Understanding the different social norms requires you to question some of your core beliefs. I don&#x27;t think you can learn any of the core lessons without learning the language.<p>Travel will put you out of your comfort zone, but you should also start having a lot of fun... the type of fun you used to have with friends when you were younger. Not the buttoned up type of fun you have at a dinner party with acquaintances.
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mattjaynesabout 3 years ago
&quot;Only boring people get bored&quot; was maybe the best advice I ever got.<p>I was a teenager and was getting a ride home from a friend of the family.<p>He asked &quot;How&#x27;s life going&quot;<p>And I was in the midst of answering &quot;It&#x27;s bor..&quot;<p>But he cut me off and said &quot;Don&#x27;t say &#x27;it&#x27;s boring&#x27;. ONLY BORING PEOPLE GET BORED.&quot;<p>It was like a splash of cold water in my face, and I always remembered that.<p>Whenever I start feeling bored now, I remind myself of that quote and start mentally exploring ways to shake things up and break out of the rut. If my mind isn&#x27;t feeling that creative, then I start looking at what others are doing in my situation and often I&#x27;ll find some thread of their creativity that I can use to get myself started.<p>The more you fear being labeled as &quot;boring&quot;, the more motivated you&#x27;ll be to avoid those doldrums.
andrewstuartabout 3 years ago
Sounds like burnout and depression at the same time. He&#x27;s probably right - maybe a change of scene from writing software for a while.
psim1about 3 years ago
I sympathize with the author. At the same time, reading a post like this reminds me how out of touch we in the SV&#x2F;tech realm are. &quot;Boring&quot; here is quite relative, and folks living more average lives would find this kind of attitude to be crazy. Boring? You&#x27;re healthy, get out sometimes, have hobbies, have written software, have written more than one-line drivel on the web... this is boring? I would call it an attitude or feeling borne out of tech privilege.
ed-209about 3 years ago
The idea that someone should (or could) avoid this, or conclude that it had something to do with being boring is strange to me. When you have &quot;writer&#x27;s block&quot;, you step away and stop trying to force it. When one creative outlet is exhausted, you find another one and bring your experience with you. To be perpetually fascinated by something that (mostly) does not change is not desirable and might be indicative of brain damage.
buro9about 3 years ago
&gt; I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.<p>I agree with this, or rather... I think we need to live life full of hope and wonder. That when we do, we deeply experience things, and we get excited by things. Excitement itself is infectious, it brings other people along.<p>Somewhere in there is an essence of an idea, that to build something that makes someone else excited such that they want to use it, we must be excited by it and full of hope for what it can be and wonder for what it is. To even present things to others, such as a thing we&#x27;ve been working on, we must feel that excitement and express it.<p>I don&#x27;t agree with the &quot;I&#x27;m boring&quot; sentiment, no-one is boring. But having hope and wonder can fuel excitement and that is a very good way to get others excited too.
apalmerabout 3 years ago
Honestly seems the issue is something is preventing you from objectively observing and documenting your issue. This is the first step.<p>For instance, you have decided the issue is &#x27;being boring&#x27; when what you describe is &#x27;being bored&#x27;.<p>Another is you are making the successful roll out of the app the end goal, when there is no indication that &#x27;being boring&#x2F;bored&#x27; has anything to do with success of the app.<p>As an outsider going by the description of how you provided without taking the solution you provide for granted it seems...<p>You are bored&#x2F;dissatisfied with your life, and you are bored&#x2F;dissatisfied with the project you are working on, but (I think because you are trying to &#x27;focus&#x27; and fight distraction) you don&#x27;t want to admit this as the solution would be to change tack as its basically giving in to your lack of focus
exodustabout 3 years ago
Having a negative goal isn&#x27;t recommended according to something I read somewhere.<p>You&#x27;re meant to frame personal objectives in positive terms. Instead of &quot;stop eating junk food&quot;, &quot;start eating healthier food&quot;. Instead of &quot;stop being lazy&quot;, &quot;exercise every day&quot;.<p>Instead of &quot;stop being boring&quot;, the objective might be to read more books, or a million other things that result in interesting people.<p>Also his app is built on the premise that we get distracted easily and can&#x27;t focus. The success of the app therefore relies on the failure of others. Perhaps a better project is one where the app doesn&#x27;t start with &quot;you suck, now sign up and you won&#x27;t suck as much&quot;. I&#x27;m possibly being unfair. I&#x27;m just thinking of ways this dude can make less boring apps.
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cardanomeabout 3 years ago
Being creative is not a good thing for business success. It is better to take a well-known thing and put a little bit of your own spin to it or simply to combine two popular things.<p>If you create anything truly revolutionary it will be an uphill battle. You wont be able to communicate what you product does in just a few words. Worse it will require potential customers to actual make a mental shift. You will have lost their attention before you can even get to the benefits. This is why the first one to develop something new will rarely see success, only those later that copy it when the ground work has already been laid.
nabnobabout 3 years ago
Something that helped me dramatically in this area was picking up a new hobby, purely for fun, with no expectations about getting &quot;good&quot; at it or winning any praise or accolades - for me, this was dance. It&#x27;s taught me how to be creative and where creative energy actually comes from, and i&#x27;ve been able to take this skill and apply it to other hobbies, like music, where my approach used to be more technical. Extrinsic motivation and having expectations seem to kill creativity.
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teekertabout 3 years ago
I&#x27;d say, time for something you&#x27;d normally label as radical. If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you&#x27;ll learn the things you never knew, you never knew.<p>Just talking to myself here ;)
dspillettabout 3 years ago
<i>&gt; I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.</i><p>Or you have become bored of your previous interests because you have spent a lot of time with them. Try something new, it might not work out but in taking a break you may find your interest in older interests to be rekindled after the time away.<p>I used to be a “try everything” developer &#x2F; sys-admin &#x2F; blah &#x2F; blah. Having made a career out of that over the last couple of decades, these days I don&#x27;t have the same interest I once did. I&#x27;m leaving the big re-architecting projects to others who are far more enthusiastic and sticking to support&#x2F;tinkering that pays the bills these days, and outside of work I&#x27;ve got other hobbies with most of the time I used to spend learning or playing with new techie stuff instead spent running around the countryside and taking part in HEMA stuff. I am starting to get the urge to get back up to speed on some techie things beyond what I need in order to keep being useful in the day job, though that is happening slowly. In the meantime I&#x27;m enjoying this current balance and set of interests, maybe it&#x27;ll stick around long term.<p>Of course this may not be a suitable attitude for someone for whom being particularly eager &amp; creative is required for the purposes of continuing to pay the bills, and some people just aren&#x27;t happy with a <i>job</i>, they must have a <i>passion</i>, or feel that not doing much more than getting by now will overly limit their options later, so YMMV.
jimt1234about 3 years ago
My two cents:<p>1. Turn off social media. Or at least avoid all the fake, self-promoting garbage.<p>2. Accept that you&#x27;re probably not gonna cure cancer or solve cold fusion. Nothing wrong with that.<p>3. Get a hobby that has NOTHING to do with computers. I like wood-working - building patio furniture, stuff like that.<p>4. Contrary to #3, get a Raspberry Pi. I&#x27;ve worked on many completely useless, yet totally fun, Pi projects.
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yolo69420about 3 years ago
Attention span and related topics are well studied in psychology, with new research appearing almost weekly - much more than becoming not boring, what would really help is if the author would spend their time on google scholar diving through the existing literature on the topic, then do a thorough examination of the existing state of the art in the market, and see if there is actually any way to meaningfully improve on the state of the art.<p>In other words, figuring out if a potential product could have actual value.<p>Instead they seemed to have reversed the process, already concluded that writing this app is a good idea, and relied instead of the nebulous and irrational guidance of purely artistic ideas and asking friends for new perspectives.<p>The same irrational thought process and overreliance on emotions probably combines with their superficial understanding of pop psychology to lead them to conclude that they fall in the &#x27;boring&#x27; category of that (honestly) completely arbitrary dichotomy.
shisismsabout 3 years ago
Broadly the core of western psychotherapy, the rediscovery of self; free of psychic oppression&#x2F;external forces.<p>Two wonderfully relevant quotes from Adam Philips, that the author may gain from:<p>&gt; “For the child&#x27;s curiosity (&#x27;&#x27;this child who can be deranged by hope and anticipation -- by ice cream,&#x27;&#x27; as Phillips puts it) is the grail for which the adult yearns. When all hope of recovering it, or at least glimpsing it glowing in the distance, vanishes, there is only a terrible emptiness. &#x27;&#x27;Ecstasy of opportunity&#x27;&#x27; gives way to a corrosive loss of interest in life.”<p>&gt; &quot;As always, Phillips prefers not to be too direct. (...) Phillips&#x27; own writings are prime examples of what we can achieve if we put aside, at least for a moment, the overly sensible -- and set out to discover what really moves us.&quot;
klik99about 3 years ago
I remember in my early 30s complaining to a friend about how I thought I was becoming boring. He reminded me that I complained of the same thing when I was in my early 20s.<p>Despite it not &#x2F;feeling&#x2F; good, it&#x27;s probably a good feeling to have, one that&#x27;ll push you to new places.
jkingsberyabout 3 years ago
The best way for one to stop being boring is to not write a post about how one must stop being boring. The best way to stop being boring is to write a post about all the interesting and exciting things there are that have nothing (or very little) to do with one&#x27;s self.
mattgreenrocksabout 3 years ago
I am convinced there is a collective post-covid emotional hangover hitting. I think we can’t simply pretend to hold it all together while so much of life changes.<p>Also, author would do well to get out of their head and do something radically different that doesn’t involve computers.
unkulunkuluabout 3 years ago
I really started on a path to improvement a couple years back, before that I thought that everything else including state of the world was to blame and I was perfect.<p>But thanks to a dusty place…<p>I was looking for things to improve and have formulated close to a dosen “shoulds” during this time.<p>I cannot say that this was really helpful, because, you know, how could I know what I should? My knowledge got me here. The shoulds arise from the mind, but how accurate are they? No way to know for me!<p>Now I come to conclusion that I “should” only accept myself, and look for meaningful experience and people, everything else will happen. Sometimes I’m boring! Sometimes I’m stupid! Sometimes I’m irresposible!<p>I feel where you are, friend, you will do this!
i5heuabout 3 years ago
<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;web.archive.org&#x2F;web&#x2F;*&#x2F;https:&#x2F;&#x2F;patzhong.com&#x2F;stop-being-boring&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;web.archive.org&#x2F;web&#x2F;*&#x2F;https:&#x2F;&#x2F;patzhong.com&#x2F;stop-bein...</a>
eurasiantigerabout 3 years ago
I think your launch failed for the following reasons:<p>- horrible mobile experience<p>- people who are looking for a solution that lets them focus are not inclined to read through the wall of text on the site<p>- the try-before-you-buy features are lost at a glance and focus easily shifts to the $2.98 part<p>Why not build the site so that it immediately brings up a simple, self-explanatory UI, especially on mobile? Let the users discover the features and the limitations.<p>If it’s not usable that way then iterate until it is. Hide the wall of text into some about page.<p>You will find your lost creativity by ingesting a very small amount of psilocybin mushrooms.
redleggedfrogabout 3 years ago
Oh man, no worries, I&#x27;m boring too! It&#x27;s great! I do things like take 20 year old XML exports and build a modern data transfer services around them. Doing these kinds of things I make a lot of money being boring. No pretensions, work 8 to 5, I&#x27;m not my work, and I go home to my wife and we have loads of fun cooking, playing boardgames, riding our ebikes, camping, now even having friends over again. Boring rocks!<p>Maybe the problem is all work and no play?
russellbeattieabout 3 years ago
If you&#x27;re bored or feeling boring, an easy solution is do something that can get you killed.<p>I bought a motorcycle last year and I&#x27;m not nearly as boring any more. Surprisingly so, if you consider all I did was buy a vehicle and learn to use it. It seems to be a general litmus test: Find a risky hobby and you&#x27;re mind will be focused and dialed in to what you&#x27;re doing and others will respect your effort and skill. Scuba, surfing, flying, poker, etc.
persedesabout 3 years ago
&quot;Mediocrity is like a stain that doesn&#x27;t wash out&quot; - H Murakami<p>My favorite anti-inspirational quote I keep coming back to.
pjeremabout 3 years ago
Kurzgesagt made a video about dissatisfaction : <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=WPPPFqsECz0" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=WPPPFqsECz0</a><p>I don&#x27;t know if it will help the author but that touched me. So I share it.<p>And I&#x27;ll add that Kurzgesagt is an amazing YT channel.
m3kw9about 3 years ago
Isn’t this wonderful? This is why the competition is tough, assuming you want to make it with building new apps. There is so much obstacles and this is just one of them you’ve listed(a detrimental mental state). But if you can fix it one by one, that will cut you through the top.
severak_czabout 3 years ago
You are not boring, you are bored.
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newbambooabout 3 years ago
Man needs meaning. There’s not an app for that. Stop being boring and building a successful app are probably misplaced priorities. Work on spirituality and family, that’s where “meaning” is for most people and so probably for you too.
throwaway787544about 3 years ago
You&#x27;re probably just tired. You can pick up a new hobby, but that won&#x27;t make you interested in code again (possibly the opposite). Just take a break and come back to code when you&#x27;re inspired to do something with it.
swframe2about 3 years ago
I got stuck in a game. My 12 year-old offered to help. Within a few minutes he solved several problems that had blocked me for days.<p>It reminds me of the intel tik&#x2F;tok product cycle. Look inside for a while then look outside for a while.
mettamageabout 3 years ago
&gt; I lost my creativity and the sense of wonder I used to have in childhood. I am no longer curious because I am settled for the world as it is. I accept things the way they are instead of imagining how they could be.<p>This resonates.
pmoriartyabout 3 years ago
If you are boring to yourself, you are boring to others.<p>Learn to enjoy your own company and how to keep yourself from being bored even when you&#x27;re alone.<p>Then find others who enjoy doing the things you enjoy, and you can have fun together.
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nomdepabout 3 years ago
“ but no one was really using the app. Including myself.”<p>That’s the problem! If you are the target user but don’t want to use it, the product doesn’t work as is, maybe the idea doesn’t work at all, or the focus isn’t right.
SubiculumCodeabout 3 years ago
Take walks through the city, always a new path. Seeing what the world IS is the best way to build in you a desire to re-envision it.
sAbakumoffabout 3 years ago
&gt;&gt; Most of all, I need to stop being boring.<p>nope, you don&#x27;t. You need to just accept the fact that you are boring AF and live with it.
thatguyagainabout 3 years ago
IMO, traveling and &quot;going offline&quot; for a while is the best way to get inspired life. It&#x27;s a luxury tho.
makachabout 3 years ago
Well, appears you are successful because the web site doesn&#x27;t load. Also, boring is good. Boring is predictable. Don&#x27;t forget the Chinese curse; &quot;May you live in interesting times&quot; (<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;May_you_live_in_interesting_times" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;May_you_live_in_interesting_ti...</a>)
hellothree23about 3 years ago
I like the idea of Space4. LP is real copy heavy :( and you have “fair-tale” instead of “fairy tale”
deathgripsssabout 3 years ago
I&#x27;m confused how to sign up for space4, is it closed? There seems to be nowhere to sign up.
antirezabout 3 years ago
Life is too short, normally. But it is too long to focus on a single thing for a lifetime.
difu_discipleabout 3 years ago
Cool people do cool things.
fleddrabout 3 years ago
I don&#x27;t know about the boring part, but I certainly have thoughts on &quot;what went wrong&quot;. I&#x27;d say pretty much everything. And I don&#x27;t say that to be mean.<p>If you&#x27;re trying to solve people&#x27;s lack of focus, you first need a solid understanding of what the root cause of that problem is. It could include deep psychological issues that I won&#x27;t go in to, but root causes that are plain to see and very common are distractions outside one&#x27;s control (work email, meetings, chat, etc) and distractions due to a lack of self discipline (personal usage of smartphone).<p>That still is a simplistic picture, but let&#x27;s use it. Now your app, which is a website, aims to solve this. The first thought here is that an app means even more screen time, but fine.<p>Your website allows one to set a timer in which the user does a focused task. This doesn&#x27;t solve the problem. The distractions outside one&#x27;s control keep coming in nor does this magically fix a lack of self-discipline.<p>Even if you do believe such a timer helps, because it does something at a subconscious level, how is it any different from using a standard timer app natively available on any device?<p>The second idea is to play white noise background sounds as it puts one in a focused state. Fine, but why wouldn&#x27;t I just hit play on one of the hundreds of &quot;focus&quot; playlists found on Spotify or elsewhere?<p>The third idea, one task at a time, is reasonable. But not valuable on its own, as it still enforces nothing. Plus, people already have task management systems, they don&#x27;t need one more.<p>The fourth idea is puzzling, a support network. So I&#x27;m finally in a focused state, and then these like-minded people are going to support me: &quot;well done, mate, proud of you&quot;. How is that not the opposite of being focused?<p>Bottom line, you charge money for something that doesn&#x27;t solve the problem, or is already solved in far more advanced ways, at no charge. For example, both iOS and Android have advanced settings for silent mode, suppressing notifications and time used on &quot;problematic&quot; apps.<p>Finally, execution is also sub par, as your fellow Indie hackers agreed on.<p>I truly say with the best intentions that this is a bad idea. And it sucks to work on bad ideas that go nowhere. But you shouldn&#x27;t feel too bad about that because creating a new idea that monetizes and is sticky is close to impossible, the bar is that high. Most people hardly every install apps and when they do, almost all of them are never opened again.<p>Do not consider yourself a failure because failure is the norm in such a competitive space.<p>&quot;I need to pick a fight and stop trying to please everybody.&quot;<p>Yes, fine. But contemplate more about which fight to pick. You&#x27;re self aware about it, which is good:<p>&quot;Am I doing the wrong thing again?”, I wondered.&quot;<p>If you suck at separating good ideas from bad ones, which is common, you need better and earlier feedback.
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sercanovabout 3 years ago
lsd could help
WaxedChewbaccaabout 3 years ago
I&#x27;m glad the author is introspecting, but I think this is a bit of a misdiagnosis, or maybe an incomplete prescription. First, being boring to others is nothing to worry about -- let them attend to their own likes and dislikes -- it&#x27;s not your job to thrill anyone. But the author seems to be using boring to describe being limited by fears of various kinds. Well, that&#x27;s right, it&#x27;s not good to be bullied and caged by fear. But it&#x27;s not enough to just say you should banish fear -- you need the stuff that will banish it. You do that via, for lack of a better term, spiritual cultivation, i.e., you learn to recognize the goodness in yourself and protect and nurture it consistently so that it can grow large and strong. Fear and many other unhelpful states of mind cannot exist in the presence of your goodness, if it&#x27;s strong enough.<p>Here&#x27;s my favorite method of self-cultivation: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;library.dhammasukha.org&#x2F;uploads&#x2F;1&#x2F;2&#x2F;8&#x2F;6&#x2F;12865490&#x2F;the_path_to_nibbana__d_johnson_f18.pdf" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;library.dhammasukha.org&#x2F;uploads&#x2F;1&#x2F;2&#x2F;8&#x2F;6&#x2F;12865490&#x2F;the...</a><p>Do you think HN provides more benefit to its users by hiding this comment from everyone except the brave who enable showdead?
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