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Ask HN: Tips on finding mentors?

34 pointsby samh748about 3 years ago
I&#x27;ve always been intrigued by the idea of having mentors, whether it&#x27;s for professional or personal purposes, research projects, start-ups, etc., but never dared to put it into action.<p>I&#x27;ve had some success getting one-off advice from some very generous people, but it seems that any sort of longer-term mentorship only exist if one were formally obligated in some way (e.g., start-up investors, research advisors&#x2F;committee, paid coaches).<p>Have any of you had success finding mentors? How did you go about it? Any tips, advice, suggestions, warnings?

7 comments

muzaniabout 3 years ago
The best tip I&#x27;ve followed is &quot;When the student is ready, the master will come&quot;.<p>Mentors are abundant. Most people out there can teach something and are learning something. Like dating, most of those people are not the right fit. And yet there&#x27;s so many that you&#x27;re likely to have a few in your life without trying to find one, but searching helps. There&#x27;s always a level above you but often that level is invisible to you if you don&#x27;t qualify.<p>You need skill in that the student can absorb the mentor&#x27;s lessons. If you&#x27;re too far below the skill level, the mentor looks like an idiot. Their advice can run contrast to &quot;common wisdom&quot;. 90% of people are in the bottom 90%. You have to be at a high enough level that you can see the flaws in common advice.<p>You have to be open to be proven wrong. The philosopher al-Ghazali used to say that you have all the advice you need. Why aren&#x27;t you following it? Why does the advice taste bitter? To many people, knowledge is something you use to get something - work, promotions, recognition, validation. But that makes it difficult to learn. Knowledge is a tool to be used. If you&#x27;re not using it, chances are you fear disproving what you know.<p>Now a lot of potential mentors are <i>happy</i> to teach. Partly because it&#x27;s lonely. They want someone who understands them, and there&#x27;s an ego boost to impressing someone. They want to bounce ideas off someone on the path, especially younger people who often see things from a different perspective. And sometimes there&#x27;s a pragmatic use of an apprenticeship. One of my favorite mentor-apprentice relationships was reverse engineering a game, where the apprentice found me tons of data and I taught him how to process it.<p>But I&#x27;d still say the simplest route is improving yourself. Apply all of the advice you&#x27;ve been given, until you know what works and what doesn&#x27;t. Which would often make the right mentor visible and attract their attention.
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ada1981about 3 years ago
Yes, many.<p>Here is the best way to get mentorship.<p>1. Identify someone who already has something that you want.<p>2. Figure out what <i>they</i> most want to accomplish next.<p>3. Do whatever it takes to help them accomplish their next goal.<p>Note: Do not ask to be paid. Do not ask for anything in return. Do not even ask them to “mentor you”.<p>By virtue of helping them Accomplish their next goal, You will aquire the mindset and knowledge you need to accomplish your goal, it happens almost as if by magic.<p>No one teaches this, and it’s proven to be the single greatest way to get a mentor that I have found.
unobatbayarabout 3 years ago
You don&#x27;t specifically need to <i>have</i> mentors. Just follow and talk to more and more people who inspire you.
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ibashabout 3 years ago
Find a way to meet with them regularly.<p>The problem with one off advice is that it’s really hard to get context.<p>The best mentors will have context on you, you want them to be all up in your business.
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cable2600about 3 years ago
Used websites like:<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;findamentor.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;findamentor.com&#x2F;</a><p>Find one that is a good fit for you. Don&#x27;t just contact people randomly find one willing to mentor you.
morelandjsabout 3 years ago
You might add what your general career goals are to this thread. Could be someone with good experience interested in providing mentorship.
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anon2020dot00about 3 years ago
I&#x27;d suggest OP try the slatestarcodex sub-reddit, it&#x27;s a community which seems to enjoy talking about topics in-depth which has a different focus from Hacker News.
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