TechEcho

First off, I'm no hacker, in any sense of the word. I work a warehouse job at a university bookstore and pack boxes all day. And I literally can't code anything, period. At home, my "tech set up" is a $250 Chromebook, a $30 Bluetooth speaker, and an old budget Android phone. But maybe we can look past the tech stuff.Perhaps more relevant (and more problematic), is that I can't actually keep up with most of the discussions on here. 99% of the links on HN, I have no idea what it's talking about. And of the comments posted, I can maybe make sense of only a fraction, and I certainly don't understand enough to participate in any meaningful way.Heck, I don't even browse the web anymore. Which means I have no links to submit, either.So what am I left with? Asking a crapload of generic Ask-HNs. One to two a day for the past month, in fact.So, why am I here?Because in real life, I'm surrounded by people who are boring and uncritical. And even if the individuals themselves are not, the social norm certainly is (in my world, at least).It's easy to go along to get along with everyone: I can be one of the friendliest people! While having no friends.I'm admittedly not a "naturally smart/intelligent" person (trust me on this one), but I am a very curious soul, and I love to learn, love to think.But the more I embrace my intellectual self, the more disconnected I feel from the rest of the world. The more my mind grows, the more it dies from loneliness.So why am I here, posting all these Ask HNs? Obviously, to surround myself with like-minds (or more accurately, smarter minds), to fill the void that was becoming increasingly unbearable.And I'm so glad I'm here. I've never felt this happy, this alive. To be seen, to be taken seriously. But in the back of my mind, I know I'm overly excited, maybe even obsessed. All the while realizing that I'm most likely making a fool out of myself, my naive, childish, attention-seeking self.Do I belong here? Am I welcomed here? Maybe I can ask that on Ask HN? And what, die of embarrassment? Or, more likely, I'll just get pity points and sympathy reassurance. But how will I know what you all really think?...I think it's time for a break. Most likely won't be posting any more Ask HNs for a while. But I'll probably still poke around and lurk a bit. And I'm definitely still open to emails and hanging out on Discord. Feel free to reach out as usual.Thank you all so so much for having me. Thank you for all your advice and wisdom. Thank you for being honest and constructive. Thank you for the generosity and support. It's been a blast. :))Much love, Sam

Please don't stop being curious. That quality means you belong here.

Maybe you could get a job with people closer to you in intellectual curiosity? A dev job would be obvious good fit if you can get it, but if you don't, in many roles you will also work with people more intellectually-oriented than a warehouse crew.

It looks like you have some deep traumas or unsolved psychological issues that you should address first.It’s very easy and tempting to blame “stupid people around” for your loneliness (I’ve been there).If you’re really curious as you say, then there can’t be boring environment for you.

Hey there. I haven't read any of your previous HN posts, so, fresh opinion here.Firstly, don't be embarrassed. It's good that you want to engage and be stimulated. But by the same token, don't expect too much in terms of personal love & understanding here. I've been a coder for almost 30 years and I still don't understand half of the things people post here, and it's tough to find people of similar minds.What I think you're looking for is being in a social setting that stimulates you. And it sucks to say that it's so damn hard now to do that. When I was a kid in the 90s, I spent all night in art/coffeehouses talking with people from cops to drug dealers, writers and artists to Costco employees. That culture is gone. It's been replaced by a cheap knockoff version online, but you never see or know the people, so you don't really get the same experience of closing out a place at 4am with friends you know you'll see again tomorrow or the next night.My GF grew up in Texas and thinks of herself as someone who escaped being a "normie". Her whole family is super religious. She has "normie" friends who plan an annual trip to Disney World, stuff like that. She gets most of her intellectual stimulation from learning how to code and talking to me and a few of her not-normal friends, weirdos like me who she picked up over time. And what I do alone and we do together is, we just plant ourselves outside a bar and start chatting away. Or reading a book. You'd be amazed at the people I meet. Now... I live in Portland, OR. When we go out to bars near her place in the deep countryside, the chance of a really interesting conversation gets a lot slimmer, and we spend a lot more time talking about cars and kids than like, philosophy or international relations (or antifascism) the way we can in Portland. So one big thing I've learned is that where you are really matters. The right city or the right group of friends/neighbors can help you blossom. The wrong place can just keep you down, make you hide away or give up trying. No matter how friendly you are. I'm also very friendly, and easily embarrassed when I'm too friendly. I'm not white - or not perceived as white, anyway, so it's hard to tell sometimes what people are thinking. You know genuine people when you see 'em.Don't fetishize HN. It's a high level dork conversation, that's all. Honestly, it's dangerous to think too much of it, because a lot of people here aren't worth the salt. Wherever you live, there are definitely cool dorks nearby, you just need to meet them.I think if you sit outside Starbucks or a bar with a book and eavesdrop on other people's conversations and just - at an opportune time if you hear something interesting, don't be afraid to say "hey, I heard what you were talking about, mind if I ask something?" Well. This takes practice but it's how I met most of the best people in my life. Not online.[edit] Just reading your reply to someone else that you work in a university bookstore makes me realize you probably come into contact with more interesting people than I do every day. I have literally no one in my real life who has a clue what my job involves, except for one or two other people who take laptops to the local bars who trade war stories with me once in awhile. The reason I'm on HN is literally because as a freelancer it's the only place I get to talk shop. Everyone needs to talk shop sometimes.

Please don't stop being curious. That quality means you belong here.

Tell HN: I'm an Imposter

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Tell HN: I'm an Imposter

4 comments