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How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself (2014)

272 pointsby fbn79almost 3 years ago

20 comments

WAalmost 3 years ago
I spend quite a lot of time alone by myself. I usually go for a walk or ride my bike. Going to the library is another way to fill your brain with other peoples’ ideas, just like scrolling social media.<p>But I have to be honest: there are zero profound thoughts when I’m alone. I sometimes get ideas for what I could work on. Write this article or that, make a standup comedy show. Write some junk porn novel. It’s entertaining while it lasts and after a while, the thoughts are gone and having thought about them, the drive to implement them is gone, too.<p>It’s literally like writing things on a TODO list and feeling good about having it written down, but the desire to do them is gone.<p>So, since I don’t get profound motivation or breakthroughs or whatever, I treat time alone as some kind of mental garbage collector. At least I get to move my body.<p>So, what’s the lesson here? I don’t know. Maybe that being alone to <i>improve</i> something is bullshit. Go out alone if it suits you, don’t expect profound thoughts. At least that’s how I am :)<p>Edit: last paragraph
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kashyapcalmost 3 years ago
Quoting from a past comment[1]. This is from the late Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (of &quot;flow&quot; fame):<p><i>&quot;The ultimate test for the ability to control the quality of experience is what a person does in solitude, with no external demands to give structure to attention. It is relatively easy to become involved with a job, to enjoy the company of friends, to be entertained in a theater or at a concert. But what happens when we are left to our own devices? Alone, when the dark night of the soul descends, are we forced into frantic attempts to distract the mind from its coming? Or are we able to take on activities that are not only enjoyable, but make the self grow?&quot;</i><p>[1] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=28942369" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=28942369</a>
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donkeydalmost 3 years ago
A couple of years ago, I was going through a short stint of burn-out. I needed some time away, so I put a mattress in the back of my car and went to Germany for a few days. I loved the idea of not having to go anywhere and not having to discuss the next location with anyone. If I saw a place with a nice view around dinner time, I&#x27;d just stop there, warm up some food and eat, enjoying the view. Those couple of days were zen. I need to do this again some time, but for some reason when not burnt out, people are less accepting of this kind of thing.
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dmjealmost 3 years ago
This highlights what bothers me most about today&#x27;s [mobile] culture. There are reams of other things to say about the damage being done (I&#x27;d recommend Johann Hari&#x27;s book <i>Stolen Focus</i> [0] for a great, if severely worrying, overview) - but to me the ability to spend time doing nothing, being with oneself, being alone, living with one&#x27;s thoughts - this is a hugely important thing.<p>Other people on the thread point out that &quot;not much happens&quot; when they spend time alone - to which I&#x27;d say: that&#x27;s the point. Your brain needs time to process, to chew through, to formulate, to make sense of... all the things it has been spending time doing. So yeh, sometimes ideas happen in these spaces (ideas certainly <i>don&#x27;t</i> happen where there&#x27;s <i>no</i> space!), but sometimes nothing at all &quot;happens&quot;. And...that&#x27;s important.<p>As well as that, the constant-always-filled-always-on culture created by mobile devices takes you away from the present moment. It&#x27;s like the least mindful thing you can be doing, and given the quantities of evidence around happiness, flow, focus, etc - just <i>being in the world</i> is a critically important thing.<p>The other angle is about the ego in all of this. One of the strange things that comes out of a meditation practice is that (and bear with me here, it sounds weird) - when you spend more time with yourself, focusing on what your inner voice is saying, without constant distraction, you actually become very much better at being empathetic in the world. Because you understand more about who you are (and, ultimately, who your &quot;self&quot; isn&#x27;t...), you get to understand more about other people and who <i>they</i> are. I wouldn&#x27;t be at all surprised if being good at being alone also boosted this sense of empathy for others. It sounds counter-intuitive, but I suspect it&#x27;s true.<p>[0] <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;stolenfocusbook.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;stolenfocusbook.com&#x2F;</a>
personjerryalmost 3 years ago
I find that my computer is stealing all my time. My default is to sit in front of my computer.<p>I&#x27;ll write an email, jot a few notes.<p>Inevitably I will open up a video or a game and distract myself.<p>If I&#x27;m spending time with myself and I&#x27;m at home, I&#x27;m on my computer.<p>I think it&#x27;s a problem. I&#x27;m considering thinking about it some more and writing a blog post on it.
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thyroxalmost 3 years ago
This post reminds me of the life of Christopher mccandless, the protagonist of into the wild.<p>McCandless had happily escaped humanity his whole life, only to find that happiness itself can only be amplified when shared. One of his final quotes being:<p>“Happiness only real when shared.”
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crispyambulancealmost 3 years ago
This is adjacent to the notion of a &quot;Flâneur&quot;, someone who idly wanders a city with nothing in particular to do, but who engages with it intellectually and socially.<p>It very much requires a high level of privledge or, in more rare cases (these days), the ability to survive in poverty looking like a homeless person yet still be interesting and welcomed by others.<p>For Gen-X, this was also known as being a &quot;slacker&quot;. It was good while it lasted.
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ameliusalmost 3 years ago
&quot;All human evil comes from a single cause, man&#x27;s inability to sit still in a room.&quot;<p>-- Blaise Pascal
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nonrandomstringalmost 3 years ago
This article caught my wandering attention today during an intermittent fast. Normally I&#x27;d take a light exercise day to burn a bit more, but a minor injury is telling me to take it easy. Reading HN and tinkering with code isn&#x27;t enough. Fasting makes me restless. I almost never get &quot;bored&quot;, but this brings it on. I want to break the link between boredom and waves of hunger. How we manage solitude and how we manage hunger seem connected.
bigDinosauralmost 3 years ago
Even better, do these things with someone else! You&#x27;re always existentially alone, so no need to make practical life too lonesome either!
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sitkackalmost 3 years ago
The author has another equally wholesome book, &quot;Where Did You Go? Out. What Did You Do? Nothing.&quot;
taffronautalmost 3 years ago
I borrowed this book from a library at age 10 or so - 50 years ago. As a kid, when we went on holiday as a family the first thing we would do would be to visit the library at our destination and get &#x27;visitor tickets&#x27;. I was an only child (still am) and was expected to amuse myself. The title is perfect for an only child. I read this book pretty much cover to cover one holiday and remember making darts out of sewing needles and matchsticks.
bowsamicalmost 3 years ago
&gt; What I call zazen is not developing concentration by stages and so on. It is simply the Awakened One&#x27;s own easy and joyful practice, it is realized-practice within already manifest enlightenment. It is the display of complete reality. Traps and cages spring open. Grasping the heart of this, you are the dragon who has reached his waters, the tiger resting in her mountains. Understand that right here is the display of Vast Reality and then dullness and mental wandering have no place to arise.<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;wwzc.org&#x2F;dharma-text&#x2F;fukanzazengi-how-everyone-can-sit" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;wwzc.org&#x2F;dharma-text&#x2F;fukanzazengi-how-everyone-can-s...</a><p>Returning to the joyful ease of a child, not putting distinctions and discriminations on play, or worrying about the next thing or even doing the current thing well, is what we train by sitting zazen in Zen Buddhism
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burnawayalmost 3 years ago
meta -- i&#x27;m just wondering if the OP found this blog post through the <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;projectnaptha.com" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;projectnaptha.com</a> main page screenshot of the book. these two posts are side-by-side on HN now and it gave me the chills &quot;what a coincidence&quot; - perhaps not.
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gernbalmost 3 years ago
Just at the start<p>&gt; now more than ever, it seems — have a profound civilizational anxiety about being alone.<p>It seems to me the &quot;natural&quot; state of things is to NOT be alone. Did cavemen survive if they were alone? It use to be common for the majority of people in the world it live in single room houses. I&#x27;d think the &quot;natural = better&quot; crowd would be very much of the thought that being alone is a symptom of modern society. I&#x27;m not personally saying that being alone is bad. Only that the framing seems to be that not having alone time is bad and that seems like a strange framing to me if for most of our existance we were rarely alone.<p>Also, I notice almost none of the comments are about the &quot;Do nothing&quot; part. They&#x27;re all about &quot;do something with nobody all alone by yourself&quot;, not &quot;do *nothing* with nobody all alone by yourself&quot;
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memcgalmost 3 years ago
I am reminded of James Thurber&#x27;s short story &quot;The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.&quot; So much of my life has required just waiting, so daydreaming, people watching and hyper-focusing on my surroundings have become valuable skills.<p>These skills allow me to &quot;be there&quot; for others. My mom had many surgeries and I would go to the hospital and just wait with my dad. We said little. He would read paperback fiction, a pastime he learned riding in carpools, but he was not alone.
ianferrelalmost 3 years ago
I read this book as a child in the 1990s. I think I picked it up at a garage sale, along with another of his books <i>&quot;Where did you go?&quot; Out &quot;What did you do?&quot; Nothing&quot;</i>, an entertaining memoir of his youth and all the nonsense he got up to with the other kids.<p>Highly recommended by 12-year-old me.
ribsalmost 3 years ago
&quot;[The Internet] also grows exponentially worse at helping us discover what we don’t yet know we ought to know, those invaluable unknown-unknowns.&quot;<p>Really? Has the author ever been to Hacker News, I wonder.
NoGravitasalmost 3 years ago
&quot;Boredom is insight into the essentially void nature of our existence and the existence of all things&quot; — Keiji Nishitani
walty8almost 3 years ago
thanks, my son would love this :)