I am currently in the exact same situation, also in France. And it seems to me that the more we see the progress that has been made on gender equality (by simply talking to your parents… or looking at the US) the more we see the long road ahead:
- why do I have to leave my wife and baby alone at home for many weeks?
- why do every nurse, pediatrician or midwife makes you feel like a outsider (sometimes with this nice condescending remark: « Oh nice, I see that the father has came »)
- in many maternity, why do fathers need to fight to stay with the mother and baby (in France, some I know literally hid in the closet so they were not kicked out in the evening!)
- why do I need to go to the women restrooms and face judging looks simply to change my baby?<p>The worst of it is that, in the end, it sometimes feels easier to fit into the mold and be a bystander in your baby first months. But I am fighting hard this tendency.
Have we been able to find any correlation between better parental leave and people being more likely to have kids/more kids? What is the goal of this improved parental leave?
I live in Sweden where parents combined get 480 days parental leave that we can divide between us with some restrictions. For example 90 days each are reserved for each parent and cannot be transferred. We also get ten days each right after the baby is born that don't count toward the 480 days. Me and my wife had our first child in May. I was off work until mid july, first my ten days and then I took a few weeks vacation. Now my wife is on maternal leave until January when we switch and I go on paternal leave. I will be away from work from January until August. If we have any days left we can use them until the child is 12 years old.<p>I think this is a very good system. Me and my wife have been talking about how valuable it has been for us to spend the first couple of months together and bonding with our child, both learning what signals mean hunger, gas or being tired.<p>I work from home so I'm still able to help my wife with taking care of the baby, for which I'm very thankful. We take a long walk at lunch every day and if I need a break I can be with my family. I feel like I live in the greatest country on earth.
It's utterly ludicrous that anyone would be in a position in which they would have to beg, cap in hand, for the time to see their children.<p>Just say no, live a simpler life if needed...
The pay during parental leave in Europe is also low. In France it is capped at about 3,500 euros per month. A software engineer or someone like that might not be able to afford to take a significant parental leave even if the law allows them to take one.<p>Parental leave should really be set up as a simple insurance system. Require employers to get insurance on workers that would cover X months of leave at full salary. In the long run it’s just not very much money compared to a person’s total salary over a 40 year working life.