Related:<p>My family has been through a lot of death in the last few years. We've had 6 fairly close members die since the pandemic started, accounting for ~15% of the family. Most were unexpected, some weren't. It's been real rough. So, I think I have a bit of a 'fresh' perspective on how people view death and dying.<p>This is going to sound strange, but you know how to die. Some of my family has been lucky enough to pass with all their marbles in a 'comfortable' place. Their deaths seemed to have taken the same paths. It's as if the body knows what is coming and knows how to do it. It's not painless, by any means, but it's predictable. Food and water refusal, organ failure, death, those kids of things. It's not panicked; your loved ones sure are, but not you.<p>Also, your time here on Earth is <i>very</i> very short. With some family, we were lucky enough to have the time to play old VHS movies of old Christmases and other holidays. (ProTip: Take more pictures and movies of people you love) But it's just amazing to see how short it all is. Our lives are a flash, a few days of a few movies, a picture book, old baseball games, memories, nothing more. But, they really can't be more.<p>Pain is where most of my family took the dive. They could endure and hold on for a long time. But when the pain came, that was the end of the line. Have plans for when that happens.<p>One family member was obsessed with life extension and health. They forbid microwaves and cell phones near them. They kinda mostly ate supplements and nootropics and kale. They ran miles everyday. Lots of podcasts on life extension. Maybe they had a premonition, but cancer took them pretty quick and pretty young for nowadays. Again, life is short, eat the fries, or not. Just don't worry about death so much that you don't live and love.<p>You're remembered by your loved ones. One family member was very well regarded in their field. Lots of people came by to say their goodbyes. You may know a few of them as minor intellectual-ish celebrities. Now that they died, those people will talk to us and try to remember and commiserate. It's stunning to see how little they knew of them. You may have good work friends, but your true loved ones know you much better. Fortunately, you can have as many true loved ones as you'd like.<p>Get a death-doula. For those family members that passed in 'comfort', it was anything but. Your family has to take over your bodily functions for a lot longer than you'd think. And you are very heavy as nearly-dead weight. Just keeping your urine away from your skin and not making more open sores is really time consuming and difficult, let alone fecal matter, bed sores, etc. Sure, hospice says that they'll be by daily, but the realities of the staffing shortage can't be avoided these days. Pay someone to help out your family in helping you.<p>I know this is super jumbled and doesn't read well. Sorry about that.