Background: I’m in my 30s. I’ve been a software engineer 8 years, mostly maintaining legacy C/C++ systems. Last year, I wanted something different so I going FAANG as an entry level engineer- building backend micro services. At the time I considered it a huge opportunity! Work with “world class” engineers and have free access to services that I can learn from. Also, the salary is more than I know what to do with. I was humble, eager to learn and ready to grow my craft.<p>A year later, I think I’ve learned to be a sociopath. I work with 23 yos that are not great, no senior engineer on my team. They are either silver spoon privilege or visa people trying to get citizenship. I delivered big time! It’s clear I’m not entry level. My boss told me so, followed by you’re not at the “bar” yet. I basically yelled at him coming short of telling him I think he’s dead weigh (also new to the team). Basically, I walk around like a rockstar and do what I want. To make it worse when I work with other people they make comments like “how did you figure this out” and feed the ego.<p>I apologized to my boss. He wants to know why I’m unhappy so he can fix it. The truth is it’s all my expectations. My expectations of grandiosity. My expectations of working with great engineers, rather than building up the people around me. But can’t really admit you’re the problem and then ask for more money.<p>How to be zen and introspective and a capitalist culture at the same time? These two are corrosive towards each other.