For me, I think about "unconditional love" for someone else as trying to always believe that they are a good person, no matter what happens.<p>In other words, I see it as unconditionally loving their essence (or soul, core, or some deep immovable part of them) and at the same time, conditionally liking their behaviors or other extensions of their essence.<p>In this way, I can commit to trying my hardest to believe in your good intentions, no matter what happens, while at the same time, letting myself dislike your actions. E.g., a woman I had dated I believe lied to me about being pregnant with a child of mine after we had broken up. While I was furious at the time, after reflection, I thought that if she were to lie about something as deep as that, she may have been hurting so deeply and that I may have contributed to her pain. So by reflecting, I got myself back to thinking that she may have been trying her best and may not have really known what she was doing. At the same time, I didn't like that she lied about that and didn't trust her word or want to get back into a romantic relationship with her.<p>So this is the approach I like to take: dig deep to try to get back to loving one's essence, while allowing myself to like or dislike what someone does, says, has, etc.<p>I really appreciate MLK's perspective on this that he delivers in his Loving Your Enemies speech [0]:<p>> And this is what Jesus means, I think, in this very passage when he says, “Love your enemy.” And it’s significant that he does not say, “Like your enemy.” Like is a sentimental something, an affectionate something. There are a lot of people that I find it difficult to like. I don’t like what they do to me. I don’t like what they say about me and other people. I don’t like their attitudes. I don’t like some of the things they’re doing. I don’t like them. But Jesus says love them. And love is greater than like. Love is understanding, redemptive goodwill for all men, so that you love everybody, because God loves them. You refuse to do anything that will defeat an individual, because you have agape in your soul. And here you come to the point that you love the individual who does the evil deed, while hating the deed that the person does. This is what Jesus means when he says, "Love your enemy." This is the way to do it. When the opportunity presents itself when you can defeat your enemy, you must not do it.<p>And I highly recommend you listen to MLK deliver the full speech via audio[1]—it frequently shakes me to my core.<p>[0]: <a href="https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/loving-your-enemies-sermon-delivered-dexter-avenue-baptist-church" rel="nofollow">https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/lov...</a><p>[1]: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=522wcqUlS0Y&pp=ygUTbG92aW5nIHlvdXIgZW5lbWllcw%3D%3D">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=522wcqUlS0Y&pp=ygUTbG92aW5nI...</a>