My brain isn't "on" 24/7. Depending on motivation, there may only be a few hours a week where I have enough brain power/creative energy to think critically about technical problems.<p>I feel like if my job were just to cut wood in the forest all day, then I'd be golden. I have the physical energy to do any monotonous task.<p>So how do you guys deal with it? I'm a "Senior DevOps Engineer." I'm getting to the point where my job makes me feel numb. I've already tried switching jobs twice. And I'd love to leave forever, but I don't want to lose my paycheck.<p>Right now, I'm a paid professional and just want to deal with getting _something_ done.
That's a good thing. Don't stress about it.<p>Listen to yourself in terms of why you believe you're not functioning like you think you should.<p>I have about 3 to 4 hours a day, twice a week, of top-level cognitive bandwidth.<p>That's it. The rest is idle to a degree where I can do shit for brains work and help others.<p>But really heavy load work takes its toll and also takes a lot of mental capacity if the domain i work on is complex, relatively to what just accomplished. Hence context switching is hard.<p>One practical thing is to write a journal with the things you speculate about. Just sentences. Write it down and continue. Write. Continue.<p>It's a good way to have that kind of valve.
I turned my college career around by studying when I was alert instead of trying to force a "normal" study schedule. The 3 hours from 2:30 AM to 5:30 AM were the golden hours. When the music started playing in my head it was time to go back to sleep.<p>Can you flex your work hours so that they align with the times that you are able to focus on technical tasks? 30 years later I still get productive things done in the wee small hours of the morning. I save the afternoon for more brute force activities.
Obviously too little information to tell, but I was experiencing the same thing consistently as a cloud engineer before finding out I had ADHD. Diagnosed at 28 & eventually found a good medication fit.<p>Now there's still a lot of the drudgery, but attention regulation has substantially improved. That feeling of having no energy to do anything regardless of how easy it might be, and the resulting brain drain was a huge weight. In the case of ADHD you don't have control over when your brain "Turns On", and unless there's some urgency or interest, getting started on any task at all becomes virtually impossible.
> I feel like if my job were just to cut wood in the forest all day, then I'd be golden<p>Trust me. If this was your job you'd find a reason to hate it, too.
I switch to “lower intensity” tasks that could still be useful, like tweaking our Datadog dashboards and monitors, writing or editing some documentation, going through old company announcements, Googling some things, etc.<p>Or I go take a walk, make coffee or do household chores when I’m working from home.<p>If you’re able to get a few hours of productive work done in a day (let’s say 3 to 4 hours) and spend the rest of your time recovering from that and recouping your energy, I think it’s okay.<p>However, if any work is completely draining you, it might be a good idea to take some time off.
> I feel like if my job were just to cut wood in the forest all day, then I'd be golden. I have the physical energy to do any monotonous task.<p>Have you ever tried doing the same physical task for a year?
I recently had a period of intense stress, stomach aches and all of that. I'm normally pretty stress tolerant so feeling these feelings was very uncomfortable for me. Being this stressed obviously impacts your mental clarity.<p>This led me to discover Andrew Huberman, a renowned neruo-scientist at Stanford that talks publicly alot about well being.<p>Learning some things from him I came to realize that "feeling bad in any way" is pretty much just your body being out of whack. I implemented some of his tips into my daily routines and the feeling of stress went away, despite my external circumstances being roughly the same.<p>Not saying there is anything magical about him, but you could look into him to see if he's got anything that could help bring back your mental clarity.
I don't believe this is a solution for all. I'm not even suggesting you have an unhealthy lifestyle. It might sound funny, but increasing the amount of protein helped me stabilize my focus for long period of time. It was amazing realizing how each macro-nutrient regulate the mode of focus differently. For example, carbs+coffee gives me multiple small bursts of focus throughout the day. While, protein+coffe gives me a single, long and steady focus for 5-6hrs a day and that's it. Sometime, I have hard time stopping and getting out that 5-6hrs of intense focus. Having said that, I don't believe that you can have 24/7 steady focus, it is not reasonable (it is not even needed)
I think it's pretty normal not to be "on" 24/7. We run on a circadian rhythm that is diurnal, i.e. has two cycles per day. Most people peak once some time in the late morning and then once again in the late afternoon.<p>Depending on your chronotype, this might be shifted - a super night owl would probably experience both of them later. E.g. I usually peak late at night, maybe between 8pm and midnight.<p>These cycles are measurable in things like nervous system, core body temperature, and so on. So it's no surprise that your brain isn't "always on." Nobody's brain is.<p>You could try finding your peak times and structuring your day around them so you can make maximal use of them.
Lumberjacks in the national forest actually make good money. Especially after a fire tears through and stuff needs to be removed. So don't necessarily count that career out.
When my mind wanders and I just don't care, then I just don't work, why pretend? I watch some stream on Twitch, then I'm back at it. I hate pairing because people have so much more energy, and I can't defocus.
The first step is: that's ok. I am also a great teacher, job I do is valuable, and I have great vision on my job.
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But please go and take a seat with a professional psychologist. This might as well be depression!
Sounds a lot like me. Only I'm a midlevel dev and have switch teams a few times in my company.<p>I have no answers for you. But there are others like us out there.
'I feel like if my job were just to cut wood in the forest all day, then I'd be golden.'<p>I imagine there is a guy cutting wood somewhere right now, thinking the exact opposite?
I recommend "The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal" by Loehr and Schwartz.
it’s easy to change jobs into exactly the same job. if so, nothing actually changed.<p>try to find a way to work on things you’re actually interested in and excited to work on. you should wake up excited to play in the problem space.<p>if you are able to, be open to moving and taking a paycut if it makes it easier to access interesting problems.