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Ask HN: What is stressing you out, what do you do to stay sane?

28 pointsby ricberwabout 2 years ago
We’re living during a time of some pretty significant stressors — what is stressing you out and what do you do to stay sane and keep yourself going?<p>Share, please :) it is mental health awareness month after all!

20 comments

adamredwoodsabout 2 years ago
I am stressed by my neighbor&#x27;s car noise. He has several cars, one is so loud (and a low frequency) it rattles our pictures on the wall. Our houses are very close to one another on a small private road. He turns it on randomly, revving it, any hour of the day or night. This has been going on for years. It&#x27;s woken me up. It&#x27;s interrupted our &quot;wind down&quot; time before bed. It drives me crazy because it penetrates my ear cavity, a low, spontaneous vibration in my brain, and I have no control-- we&#x27;ve tried talking with him, arguing with him, calling police, putting up a fence, discussing with other neighbors, etc, to no avail. He is also a bit aggressive, enough to frighten one of the neighbors, and I bought security cameras to give me and my family a little piece of mind. We live in a state where household guns are quite common (we do not own any), so that adds to my worry, whether it is an actual threat or not.<p>All I can do is hope that we move soon, but the housing market is not helping. I also try to focus on the moments of calm when I cannot hear his car. It takes considerable mental effort not to acknowledge the noise and let is alter my mental state.<p>For example, I work mostly from home, so I went outside yesterday to relax in the sun, only if for a few minutes, and he started up his car, shattering the air and any relaxation. I went back inside my house.<p>For me, hope, is the key. I can only hope that things will get better, and to be patient that they will. I tell myself that this only temporary, and will someday become a memory in the past. Another way I cope is to take many small vacations. It&#x27;s amazing when we stay somewhere and don&#x27;t have to worry about loud, spontaneous noises. Noise pollution is a thing!
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DontchaKnowitabout 2 years ago
I am stressed out by the fact that it seems like my level of effort is not remotely coupled to my level of praise and reward at work. I could do almost nothing for weeks and still be told im doing well and get the same bonus.<p>I thrive in high pressure, stressful environments and everything at this job is so lackadaisical. At the same time Im realizing I hate being chained to a computer all day.<p>In top of this ive been experiencing spiritual&#x2F;existential terror as a result of reading about gnostic doctrines which turned my former religious inclinations on their head. I am terrified that the gnostics may have been correct (if only metaphorically)<p>Additionally all my time management and prioritization faculties are failing. I am having a hard time remembering to brush my teeth each day, much less keep up with laundry, yardwork, dishes, mopping floors.<p>Stressed to the point that I am on the verge of puking some days. Having existential crisis on a daily basis. Feel like I have no hope for the future. Im lonely as fuck, bored, and I dont even remotely know how to make things better. I think about my own death frequently and it seems so nice. Id never off myself, before I get links for a suicide hotline, but I di have recurring invasice &quot;I wish I could die&quot; thoughts.<p>Stress management techniques at this point consist of getting high. And no, its not actually helpful, just escapism.<p>Id welcome any suggestions. Thanks for reading.
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bluefirebrandabout 2 years ago
I think what stresses me out most right now is the idea that my life may be more than half over and I have a lot of stuff I want to do.<p>I really struggle with energy levels. I work hard at my job and I find myself unable to work effectively on the things I want to do after work and on my weekends. I waste a lot of time.<p>I&#x27;ve been in this holding pattern for years and I mostly cope by telling myself that I still have more time.<p>But recently realized my time is still passing. I&#x27;m trying not to fall into the mid-life crisis traps, doing some dramatic rash stuff because of this. But I wish I could find a way to break this holding pattern and do the work I want to do.<p>It&#x27;s challenging. I hear about people who died early with super tragic cancer or heart attacks really young and I worry like hell that could be me without ever even starting the stuff I want to accomplish.
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8vectorsabout 2 years ago
My startup failed in 2017. Leading up to that I had several panic attacks. Lots of things stressed me out: work, the news, money, etc...<p>I spent a lot of time after that reflecting on what went wrong and part of it was a dismantling of my ego, and a lot of meditating and reading philosophy.<p>The subtle art of not giving a fuck... And lots of stoicism, Marcus Aurelius, Aristotle...<p>Love fate<p>The only things in our control are our perception and our choices.<p>God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference<p>I don&#x27;t really consider myself religious, but I learned to value the useful and still relevant parts of several religions.<p>Then I practiced... Lots of deliberate practice. Meditation, exercise and practiced deliberate choices and perception.<p>I don&#x27;t get nearly as stressed anymore.
jvanderbotabout 2 years ago
What a year it&#x27;s been. I wrestle with all kinds of issues. The core is that I&#x27;m just not the kind of person I was 5 years ago, and not in a positive direction. 2018 jvanderbot was much more ambitious, fit, friendly, social, and active.<p>I was laid off in OCT right as I bought a house and moved cross country, am struggling to make an impact at new job, even though they have short timelines and high hopes. I had strep for nearly two months somehow, my dad died, and my kids are taking up increasing amounts of time. I enjoy side projects but am frankly too low energy to do anything but play games with friends most nights, which I&#x27;m lucky to be able to do. On top of that marriage is getting rocky.<p>In a few years my kids will go to school, and the violence targeting children is depressing.<p>I&#x27;ve come to the conclusion that life is meaningless, disappointing, and short. People are selfish and incapable of real help when needed. I am treading water until I can come to terms with that.<p>Im trying to exercise, have done therapy before and it never helps, and am on medication and so on. There&#x27;s just not much I seem to be able to do at the moment, so, continue treading water.
skydhashabout 2 years ago
Gang violence and unavailability of public services. To relax, I play games, watch movies, and read books. I take special solace in chatting with my SO.<p>I&#x27;m reading more philosophy now to reframe how I think about stuff (stoicism).
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the_only_lawabout 2 years ago
I think my time in the industry is over. Six months and no job, only a handful of interviews and most of them were very antagonistic. Recruiters contact is erratic and seems to be only lowering in quality. I wouldn’t be too cut up about it except I still have to pay rent&#x2F;bills&#x2F;etc which only seem to be climbing rapidly and had to hemorrhage a lot of money at the end of 2022&#x2F;2023 thanks to unexpected events.<p>I don’t have any good ways to staying sane unfortunately, mostly bad coping mechanisms that calm me down but also make me useless.
gabeioabout 2 years ago
&gt; what is stressing you out<p>I stress over far more than I should, just talking with people over the phone, most 1on1s (for no reason, I&#x27;ve never been fired I&#x27;ve always left of my own choice and never forced to leave either). Slowly I start to stress over everything.<p>&gt; what do you do to stay sane and keep yourself going?<p>Volunteering. Just getting my mind off of my problems and helping others really clears my head, I stress less over my own issues and end up feeling accomplished and usually have a really good time. Something else I&#x27;ve learned about volunteering, organizations which are fully non-profit and have no employees (everyone is a volunteer) attracts very different people, those who actually enjoy and want to help others, they are really nice to be around and volunteer with&#x2F;for. I&#x27;ve been volunteering for ~20 years and still love it. Mind you I don&#x27;t mean huge events either, a Saturday here and there.
reed_codesabout 2 years ago
Stressed by a lot these days, but the thing that helps has been a constant for the last few years: gardening (at any scale). As long as they get sun and a bit of water, plants do their own thing on their own timescale. Whenever I&#x27;m in my head, swamped with work, stressed about the state of the world, I can take two minutes to walk to the garden and see that my plants are none the wiser. They&#x27;ve been growing, stretching toward the sun, sending out roots to gather water and nutrients, and they don&#x27;t give a damn about the things I&#x27;m stressed about.
imvetriabout 2 years ago
Take a toke, go to bed, cover ears with pillows, hope to meditate, finally channel The energy into an idea for my project.<p>That calms me and rescues me. Ideas channeled into computer reduces my anxiety and there is a bonus Take away
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uptownfunkabout 2 years ago
Running<p>lifting<p>spirituality (meditation, reading, associating with like-minded practitioners, listening to talks by advanced practitioners)<p>spending time with family<p>stopping caring so much about work outcomes and just focusing on giving a best reasonable effort<p>Sleep<p>Right diet<p>No tiktok, disabled shorts on YouTube (just click through them and say not interested), minimal insta, no Facebook or snap account<p>Get your lives dialed in folks, it only gets harder.
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unbalancedevhabout 2 years ago
Play HOMM3 or Bloons TD5. I&#x27;d be embarrassed to admit how many times I&#x27;ve played them.
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ffbackabout 2 years ago
Not finding a job while being told my background is impressive yet not quite the right fit. As though it will never be the right fit for anything.
throwaway689236about 2 years ago
I lift. Running is even better, if it&#x27;s your jam.
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ekanesabout 2 years ago
The AI future is stressing me out. BJJ keeps me sane.
misteriossabout 2 years ago
Run
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fullsharkabout 2 years ago
Get away from a screen
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bjourneabout 2 years ago
People are stressing me out. Specifically other people.
devoutsalsaabout 2 years ago
I’m getting divorced after three months of marriage.
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Hatrixabout 2 years ago
nap, ride bicycle, go to a park, explore some space in VR if you cannot physically go somewhere.