I've been working on giving up alcohol and drugs (weed). I've curtailed my want to smoke weed, by understanding that it mainly comes from the place of escapism. Its a great way for me to procrastinate.<p>Alcohol has been more tricky. Hanging out with friends, going out for dinner, work place happy hours, celebrating professional and personal accomplishments, even something as simple as going out at night means going to a bar. I've been getting better at successfully navigating these events, but some of them just involve having a drink or 2. After all of this, there are hangovers and I hate those.<p>Personally, I've found that holding a drink also serves as a great way for me to get over my social anxiety. These days at parties I'll go through like multiple diet cokes, soda waters and waters. I find 0 alcohol beers and mocktails to be absolutely trash. I don't care for the taste, and without the effects of alcohol, I'm just chugging sugar water.<p>Currently my goto drinks are:
1. Bitters with soda water
2. Diet Coke / Coke Zero
3. Soda water / seltzers with a slice of lime
4. Just water
There is are good reasons why the leisure class and the leisure class lifestyle exists. Conspicuous leisure and Conspicuous consumption serve specific purposes. Look them up.<p>The problem is most ppl get introduced to the lifestyle, with some half baked, to non existent idea about the purposes, and even lower awareness of their own needs/goals.<p>If you are clear about what your needs/goals are, and how these processes help you get to them, then automatically behavior is regulated. Cuz it becomes clear - I need to do x to get y. Do I need to do more than x? Not really and I could be doing z in that time to speed up getting to y instead. So a limit appears.<p>But for ppl who adopt the lifestyle and are not clear about what they want or where they are heading, these limits wont appear its easy to fall into mindless routines. It wont matter what tactics anyone suggests to survive the lifestyle if you if you are not clear what Needs/Goals of yours it meets.
My friend literally said he wanted to start a alcohol-free beverage company because all the new products are so compelling and there is probably room for many more. Maybe give a couple few more of those a chance. Also, realizing that you don't have to socialize with the same people in the same way is probably a big step in finding drinking-free activities. It's probably way easier said than done but nothing in life worth doing is easy. Good luck and persevere!
You seem to doing everything right -<p>The counter to addictions is social connections. <i>Addictions are alienating</i>. They cause you to break social ties as the brain tends to (faultily) prioritise the addictive behaviour over your relations. People who tend towards addictions often don't have a fulfilling social life. (A fulfilling social life includes one or more intimate relations - sexual and platonic - and non-intimate ones with friends and co-workers). The addictions appear, and feel, like a good alternate to the fulfilment that a relationship provide. But as addictions cause alienation, they make the problem worse, and become self-destructive.<p>> <i>I've found that holding a drink also serves as a great way for me to get over my social anxiety.</i><p>Did you know that Alcohol is not a stress buster but actually increases anxiety in an individual? ( <a href="https://www.drugrehab.com/addiction/alcohol/can-alcohol-give-you-anxiety/" rel="nofollow noreferrer">https://www.drugrehab.com/addiction/alcohol/can-alcohol-give...</a> )<p>You cannot ignore anxiety away as it is a normal reaction to any stressful event (mild or high). The best way to tackle anxiety is to acknowledge it and indulge in the behaviour causing the anxiety. Otherwise anxiety fosters avoidance behaviour (e.g. what you called escapism). So forget that it is the drink in hand that is making you relaxed - it is actually the lack of alcohol in your drink that is making you feel "normal".<p>As for what to drink instead - do you really have to drink anything more than one or two glass? Maybe have some chewing gum, or focus on the snack and having fun with your friends instead. Or volunteer to serve the drinks instead. (Also have you told your friends that you are cutting down on alcohol and sugary drinks?)<p>A better - must - thing to focus on is if you are doing daily exercises. It makes you feel good, reduces anxiety, and makes it easier to socialise.
Alcohol is an acquired taste, and so are low/zero-alcohol beers - if you can slowly get used to the better wheat beers you give yourself a ton of headroom in pubs. I quit the booze with the drinkless technique in which you measure your booze consumption over a period and then set yourself targets. I still love pubs, however, but manage to not drink now.<p>I kept meeting high performance people who didn't drink - like, all the people I met in a three-month period - and that helped. In the UK, people get a bit angry when you tell them you've quit the booze, which is quite funny, but they'll get over it.<p>Not sure what mocktails you're drinking, but a virgin bloody mary or pina colada seems fairly innocuous?
Why?<p>Knowing that is the place to start.<p>And I mean knowing the reasons why you want to give them up, not the reasons why you use them.<p>For example, giving up alcohol because it makes you mean is different from giving up alcohol because of your religious belief is different from giving it up because your liver is already so pickled more booze might kill you is different than giving it up because you think you should for theoretical reasons.<p>Anyway, having kids is a common way to alter a lifestyle in ways that are conducive to not going to bars and hanging out.<p>Good luck.
If you want to be alcohol free, then just don't have another drink.<p>Maybe save the weed for the social events but not at home. It would certainly be cheaper. It's not procrastination because you're attending the event anyway.
my advice is to migrate to a "clean" lifestyle:<p>1. 100% cleaned up healthy diet<p>2. regular exercise<p>3. good sleep<p>and being alcohol/drug-free comes along for free<p>I don't agree that social pressures make this impossible as others have suggested...I mean, does anyone here shun someone else at a party who isn't drinking/doing drugs? of course not<p>it is quite common these days to meet normal, successful people who don't drink, lead healthy lifestyles, you will not be a pariah<p>don't worry about popularity - people who are fit and healthy have no problems making friends as being in shape is inherently attractive