Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

We have two kids who were raised essentially screen-free until 3, then on a 1hr a week diet until 6. We worried all the time about the transition to school, and the cultural norm of allowing a lot more screen time. This was an imagined dragon - this has not been an issue at all. My oldest just got a Switch, she plays less than 1&#x2F;2hr a day - then she walks away without issue. She has friends with phones and iWatches (she has neither) and her envy level is zero.<p>My point here is not that we’ve done anything right, or wrong, or to emulate. Instead, I say this point out the I’ve had to learn to worry about, and address, the real issues - when they become real. There are not enough hours in the day to worry about all theoretical mistakes I’m making as a a parent. I choose to focus on the actual, observable, issues we are having.<p>For what it’s worth - many of our neighbors have kids that play all the time on the Switch, have phones, and watch TV every car ride anywhere, and those kids are LOVELY. They aren’t screen demons - and they aren’t behind in math, reading, eating vegetables… I think it could be it doesn’t really matter as much as it gets focused on.<p>At any rate it matters a whole lot less than loving them, and figuring out what works for YOU and for THEM - and that’s something it took me way too long to learn.

I won&#x27;t opine on how to manage usage of of tech as the comments already handle that well.<p>One thing I&#x27;d like to respectfully point out to our community, which I personally think is going to snowball into a full blown health crisis, is children&#x27;s posture while using tech. I live in NYC and everywhere I go I&#x27;m seeing kids and adults craning their necks and backs at 45-60 degree angles. My mother was a seamstress for 30+ years and the consequences are horrible. Keep an eye on it<p>As for my strategies to manage this, I nag frequently (and my kids know the consequences are losing access). For the few times I do give them screen time on the go, I force them to watch with the phone on the table and either leaning on sometime or in this little phone holder that forces them to sit upright to see the screen.<p>Here is a random link that quantifies the impact on weight on neck at different angles: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;healthmatters.nyp.org&#x2F;how-to-prevent-tech-neck&#x2F;" rel="nofollow noreferrer">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;healthmatters.nyp.org&#x2F;how-to-prevent-tech-neck&#x2F;</a>

Get him a laptop early. Teach him how to make things. Separate “creative time” from “consumption time”. Get a router that gives you good controls for total time and time schedule. The TP-Link Deco series is what I use and it does the job.<p>Avoid a real smartphone for as long as possible. 9th grade would be ideal. Give other ways to communicate - smart watcj, dumb phone, Discord on laptop.<p>This is about manners, literacy, etiquette, and skills. The medium is not the message, etc.<p>I would type more but I am on the other side of the line now, on my smartphone while I wait for my son at the orthodontist. :)

I suspect treating screen use as &quot;treats&quot; may not be ideal.<p>I also have a 2 year old son and am very curious about this.<p>It&#x27;s tough, because I do know whatever I do won&#x27;t be ideal, and we won&#x27;t know till later when we learn more about how our brains work what we really should be doing with regards to screen use by kids.<p>And, at the same time, things are accelerating fast, so there&#x27;s a decent chance tech is totally different by the time our children are in high school, or even elementary school.<p>I think that in an ideal world, we&#x27;d all use technology all the time and it&#x27;d be a natural extension of ourselves letting us be fuller versions of ourselves and more present with each other. It&#x27;s a shame we&#x27;re not in that world yet, and I&#x27;m hopeful that as we get richer humanity starts designing tech to be more agency increasing with this target in mind rather than losing agency to shorter term incentives.<p>With our 2 year old, I think the highest impact thing we do is try to strict about being present with him and not on our phones. I suspect this might be much more important than whatever rules are established for a child&#x27;s own use of technology.<p>Reminds me of the pretty compelling poem &quot;Children Learn What They Live&quot;: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.freepoemsonline.net&#x2F;poems-htm&#x2F;children1.htm" rel="nofollow noreferrer">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.freepoemsonline.net&#x2F;poems-htm&#x2F;children1.htm</a>

Imagine how you prevent your child from eating donuts all day, every day.<p>Substitute sugar or something else in the house for donuts. Apply that.<p>The main thing is to resist the temptation to use the technology as the babysitter. But, oh god, that temptation is the hardest ever, some days.<p>Many schools ban phones during class anyway, so maybe get him a watch instead.<p>And here&#x27;s the hardest - are <i>you</i> addicted to screens, phones, and social media? Then you&#x27;ve already lost. Get everyone a Light Phone: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.thelightphone.com" rel="nofollow noreferrer">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.thelightphone.com</a>

I mostly just let my kids post hacker news comments, so far nobody has been able to tell.

I&#x27;ve read up a bunch on this and we&#x27;ve done a bunch of thinking.<p>We will likely heavily restrict screentime. Ideally no screentime until we are two, and then we will probably allow 15 minutes of &quot;watching&quot; a day.<p>I suspect we will make a pretty broad exception for actual games though. Probably airplane rides will get some general exception too since that is just a limited environment.<p>As we get older we may allow some more passive screen time but probably push heavily on &quot;doing things&quot; instead.<p>Montessori has this great rule when making decisions about toys: Any toy that does the entertaining for the child is disallowed. Any toy that lets the child entertain themselves and is safe is fine. I like this because it captures the &quot;legos are great, obnoxious light up sing song toys are bad&quot; that aligns with my inner feelings.<p>For our screen time we allow, I will preselect content and load it up on a tablet. Probably clone my current youtube system that downloads content from youtube and serves it up on a UI with no autoplay or suggestions. I will likely firewall off the device from the wider internet but allow it lan access so it can still get regular media updates.

Our daughter is now 14. We read to her until until basically she took the book from our hands and started reading on her own. After that we would still read to her but it was more about bonding than teaching her to read.<p>No screens at all until about 4 or 5. Then it was an occasional family movie day or evening.<p>So without screens, she read even more books. Reading at 8th grade level in 2nd grade. And college level in 5th grade. So that’s a challenge for a parent, finding college-level content appropriate for a 9 year old. We did ok there.<p>There were limited access screens in 1st, 2nd grade public schools.<p>We started homeschooling for 3rd grade. Computer &#x2F; iPad use for schoolwork through about 6th grade where we let her start using it for comms with her peers, email, chat, NO social media.<p>All along the way we taught digital citizenship and how to stay away from groomers.<p>We found about a year ago she was reading some kind of racy stuff on a fan fiction site, with some creepy folks lurking in the comments. At that point we realized we made a mistake letting her compute in private. So we realigned, computer&#x2F;iPad use only in the living room and only with screen mirroring to the television turned on. We don’t really watch the mirroring, it’s a behavior modification tool which we will discard once she shows some signs of being more mature and following rules.<p>Anyway, you know better than anyone what is right for your child. Of course consult other parents for ideas but you’ll do your best and pivot as needed.<p>She’s still reading. I think keeping screens off limits was a huge gift to her. She’s tearing through a trilogy of about 1-3&#x2F;4” thick novels this week. This is even with routine daily tv watching about an hour a day. Her willingness to read has enabled her to teach herself a lot. We still homeschool and we outsource topics where we are weak to private educators.

My friends have managed to avoid introducing their 5 year old to the iPad. They do allow her to use it on airplanes, but they rope the flight attendants into it and have the attendant present it as &quot;the airplane&#x27;s iPad.&quot;

I have two kids, 5 and 8. In brief, I love computers and the internet but I genuinely fear social media and the whole dopamine loop hole along with various other social media risks. So my over-arching strategy has been to emphasise creativity vs consumption. Like, some passive consumption is fine, but I encourage them to think about what they are actually doing. If my child says &quot;can I go on my laptop?&quot;, my first question is &quot;what are you planning to do?&quot;. Youtube is awful for them. Email with family, seeing how easy it is to make and host a website, Google Maps, BBC in general ... these have been positive things,

We divide screen time into three categories:<p>Creative: Blender, Scratch, Blockbench, Krita.<p>Thinking Games: Minecraft, Kerbal, Stormworks.<p>Relaxing Games: most other stuff.<p>Then we have fixed times of day when each thing is allowed e.g. creative in the morning, followed by some thinking, then s long break, and relaxing in the late afternoon.<p>I put on videos about Blender etc sometimes and they put it into practice shockingly quickly when faced with limited alternatives.<p>They are 7 and 9 now and started this way from around 3yo. Hoping to use Discord to connect them with more creative kids next.

I&#x27;ve thought a lot about this and am currently developing screenshot&#x2F;AI-based monitoring for device usage for my kids under the age of 12. Aside from that, here&#x27;s what our family does. We have three children under the age of seven. 1. Limit use to specific days, and specific time of day. This will keep them constantly asking you for it. 2. Choose high quality, age-appropriate shows like Daniel Tiger, Bluey. High quality creative games like Minecraft. I wrote some code to filter Rotten-Tomatoes &quot;Fresh&quot; movies by age-appropriateness via commonsense media. I&#x27;ll host this on a website sometime soon. 3. Choose a DNS filter for your home router as a back-stop against accidental searches with inappropriate results. 4. Get to know the Screen Time options. It is possible to disable age-restricted content and disable Safari web browser. 5. I don&#x27;t let them roam YouTube. It&#x27;s mostly junk. 6. Probably goes without saying when considering young children, but still worth repeating the surgeon general&#x27;s advice: Avoid social media until at least age 16. 7. Also worth mentioning that human trafficking of children does happen, even among young children, and predators use online spaces to find and groom children. So keep this in mind when you consider what you allow for your kids. 8. Also, sexting is a real thing that happens frequently and is frequently regretted or weaponized. Teach your kids to never ever take an inappropriate photo of their bodies.<p>Also would love to hear what everyone else is doing!

For my family it’s just about finding a balance. I have a 4 and 6 year old. During the school year there’s no TV during the weekdays. When they wake up on the weekend they can watch TV in the morning until the house is up and ready to start the day. This is also good for my wife and I because we can sleep past 6am.<p>Our family is usually pretty busy with sports, parties, and other activities on the weekend so there are fewer chances for screen time throughout the day. But we don’t mind an hour here or there between activities or at the end of the day.<p>Both my kids have Kindle Fires. It gets used on airplanes, drives longer than 4 hours, or if they can’t agree on something to watch or want to play a game instead of using the family TV. We don’t allow the use of screens at restaurants or in the car.<p>During the summer they go to camp from 8:30am-4:30pm. They usually come home and watch TV for 1-2 hours and relax from a day of being outside and running around.<p>Sick days are TV days.<p>I’d love for them to maybe have a little less screen time. That’s also coming from someone who’s watched almost zero TV in the last 6 months but spends 12+ hrs a day on a computer. But I feel like we’ve found a decent enough balance. My kids do there school work and are active and have other interests. They don’t put up a fight when we tell them to turn the screen off.

Every kid is different, but IMO the most important meter of screen time is: can they walk away from the device without issues, or can you take it away without causing a meltdown?<p>If so, everything is fine. How you get there depends on the kid a lot, some need hard screen time limits, some can moderate on their own.<p>You need to normalise the device, it&#x27;s not a treat for something else or a magical device that they receive when they go &quot;I&#x27;m bored&quot;.<p>As a parent (usually the dad) your #1 job is to make sure your kid is 1000% bored out of their mind as often as possible. Just make sure there are ways to alleviate that boredom nearby. For our kid it&#x27;s a cart full of crafting supplies: paints, misc crap from the craft store, canvases, paper, scissors etc. For some it&#x27;s a huge pile of random legos - no full kits preferably. And for others it might be a climbing wall, trampoline or something physical.<p>As for actual games, I can 100% suggest Toca Boca: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;tocaboca.com" rel="nofollow noreferrer">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;tocaboca.com</a><p>They&#x27;re not free, but they don&#x27;t have ads or any kind of predatory IAPs either. Toca World does have IAP extensions to the world, but the price is fine IMO.<p>All of the games base heavily on exploration. Toca World, for example, has puzzles where secret locations in the buildings open up if you do specific things or find hidden buttons in the world. Otherwise it&#x27;s just a game you dress up your 2D characters and decorate their world. Not that far off from Sims actually.<p>In other games you need to figure out what kind of food some weird alien looks like and how do they want it cooked, or how you can breed different types of plants by combining others.

As with my own discipline, I think a bias towards an additive mindset rather than a restrictive one is helpful. By which I mean, focusing on the alternatives to screens, rather than only limiting them.<p>My kids are very young and get restless indoors. They demand more engagement. I can usually distract them by going outside, where they immediately calm down. This doesn&#x27;t work forever, but it gives them an outlet for awhile where I don&#x27;t necessarily have to read and roughhouse to keep them entertain. The only solid alternative indoors is: having other kids around. Otherwise they seem to get bored of their toys and want television.<p>The tv time is just as much for me as it is for them. I&#x27;m wiped and happy to give in for 10-15 minute spells. It&#x27;s not like you can reason with an infant like &quot;oh you&#x27;re bored? do something creative&quot; - they need attention and validation, which is draining, and then if they&#x27;re familiar with screens they want that stimulus.

I think there should be a distinction between <i>monitored</i> and <i>unmonitored</i> screen time. Too much of the former is like leaving your kids with the cookie jar. Not entirely healthy but not fatal. Too much of the latter is like leaving them with the contents of the medicine cabinet. You’ll probably be calling 911 at some point.

I think these days getting kids involved in non-tech based activity groups could help a child have a more balanced relationship with technology.<p>There are also options like homeschooling, but that is obviously a massive commitment and different life journey for a family to take.<p>Then ofc there are rules and enforcement mechanisms. Rules can really be whatever you like. Enforcement can happen at your router, DNS or maybe firewall. If you like to configure those sorts of things you could block access to certain services or websites based on time of day, or target specific devices in you network. When they are not home you won&#x27;t be able to do this so easily. There is also risks of coming off too adversarial and damaging your relationship with your child.<p>edit: typo

I do an unlimited screen time approach (this is a misnomer; most parents using this approach have some kind of limits). I limit content (especially content that seems to give a dopamine hit like unboxing videos and those annoying YouTube videos with constant cheering and sound effects) and have rules about no TV or devices while eating.<p>We do not use timers or set limits around how much time a day. My preschooler enjoys games, learns a lot through TV, has an exceptional vocabulary and a big imagination. They still enjoy spending time outside and playing with others. My hope is that they learn to self regulate early.

We have a 4 and a 6 year old. They are allowed a maximum of 30 minutes of screen time.<p>The 4 year old would get less if it weren’t for the 6 year old.<p>Our older one can decide between certain iOS games (like monument valley and some others) or watching a video. Grizzy and The Lemmings is something they enjoy a lot at the moment, the younger one like to watch Blaze and the older one likes to watch Checker Tobi. The latter is a fellow explaining all kinds of stuff in an age appropriate way, but 6+ would be even better.<p>We are planning to keep the 30min for the forseeable future. But there are exceptions like long travels, sick days, etc.

2 years old would be quite young for regular screen time, IMHO and from what I&#x27;ve read. We mostly kept our kids off of screens until around three, with some exceptions. After that, we use designated &quot;screen time,&quot; which has, historically, been an hour during dinner prep time and a some extra on the weekends. We&#x27;ve definitely had to hold our ground as they got older and found themselves at friends&#x27; houses.<p>They&#x27;re 10 and 6 now and we&#x27;re a bit more lenient about it. They have a bit in the morning before school as motivation and a bit more in the morning on the weekend. They play outside a lot with each other and with friends so we&#x27;re less worried than we&#x27;ve been in the past.<p>In terms of social isolation ... our kids will 9 times out of 10 voluntarily skip screen time if they have a friend to play with or often they&#x27;ll play a game on an iPad with a friend, which feels better than on their own. I&#x27;ve read that the problems with too much screen time comes down to reducing time moving their bodies, building social skills, and thinking for themselves. They seem to be doing great with that on their own so our anxiety around it has gone down quite a bit over time (it was quite high in the beginning).<p>Our oldest is now asking for her own phone, which is a whole other thing. I&#x27;m desperate not to become a family that just sits around with our heads buried in our devices and I&#x27;ve had to be mindful myself of being a good example there.

I have 9 and 11 year old boys No screen time until they were 4. Even then if I think about it, it was more to give myself a break than for them, so I regret it.<p>they both have ipads now and swtiches and an xbox they share. They are only allowed on when I tell them they can play games. The ipads have internet access but everything is sent to our phones. They are forbidden to visit any social media, including youtube.<p>They have to get approval for any games they add to the systems.<p>We let them play games becuase their friends do and all the kids chat while doing it so its good for socializing. They can only friend people they know.<p>Oldest just got a phone. Internet is disabled. He can only text and call.<p>While it sounds like a lot, we have a good system, they know what games we will let them play and so dont push for anything else to much. Its really just about setting boundaries but giving them enough freedom that they dont push those boundaries.<p>My oldest did spend about $100 on fortnite once without telling us and so we locked that down. He knew it was wrong but did it anyway which is on me. He wont do it again (no physical punishment in my house, I just explained that i was disappointed and grounded him for a week). We had a good talk about it.<p>During summer they play a lot of games as I have to work and their friends are all online with them.

They&#x27;ll have to deal with addiction eventually. As with things like clickbait, they can build immunity with exposure.<p>Near unlimited screen time, except after lights off at night. Scale it back hard when they show signs of addiction - refusing to shower, refusing to stop watching when asked, not doing homework. Usually that means no devices for a week or so.<p>Why does mommy and daddy get screen time after dark? Because we get up at 5 AM, shower, brush teeth, cook breakfast. If the kids want more time, then they should get up early and get ready for school.<p>There is one TV. It goes to the kid with the most &quot;points&quot;. Points are earned with good deeds, basically cleaning up, wearing seatbelts, etc, and reset at the end of the day.<p>TV time isn&#x27;t always a win. The ones who don&#x27;t get the TV will usually go out for a walk with daddy, cook together, kick a ball, play PC games, or something actually fun. Sometimes it ends up with the kid without TV priority calling unfair - the intent is showing them that even though they can get work hard and earn the luxuries, it doesn&#x27;t always make them happy.<p>However, <i>what</i> they watch is heavily monitored. Most of the stuff on YouTube are junk by default. Avoid professional streamers, who usually tend to be hyped up, swear often, and exaggerate anger. Kids tend to pick up these habits.<p>Avoid the games designed for addiction. Usually things with microtransactions and no ending. Let them play the bad&#x2F;lazy stuff though, those are good for building immunity.<p>It works out as planned. They enjoy it as a family activity, but most of the time they&#x27;re drawing stickers, playing ball, building cardboard planes, the usual kid stuff.

I see a lot of similar guideline comments of no screen time etc. While I agree and follow the same general advice of no screen or only supervised by me in person, I do think I am a bit of an hypocrite. Ever since I remember I watched cartoons on any available time I had. I always enjoyed the computer as well. I started by playing games when I was 6 but that was the start of the career I have today. Meaning: I watched lots of tv and lots of computer and I turned out fine, so why make such a fuss about it? Also HN is quite a bubble in this matter. I literally do not know any parent as strict as I am with tv or electronic device. Most of my parent friends tell me I am going full taliban, as they too had screen time and are functioning individuals. All this to caution that HN might not be the most diverse place to get opinions nor they seem to be optimising for something that actually matters as evidence by much proof to the contrary.

Mine is a few years older than yours. We just talk about it and set clear expectations. The only context I allow her to watch videos is when she&#x27;s video chatting with her grandparents and they co-watch cartoons in another language so she can learn. So I hit a few birds with one stone.<p>On special occasions we watch movies on the projector.<p>Consistency is key; don&#x27;t break the rules yourself. When my wife watches videos at the dinner table my child points out the offense and I happily encourage her to stick to the rules.<p>Kids let you know when they don&#x27;t like something. In that case you can try to explain the rationale for the rule at their level. That works for me. Weaving some fun into the rule can make it easier to go down; e.g., making funny faces while you brush your teeth for one minute.<p>Sometimes they will try to surreptitiously break rules. And you can have a talk about that.

I run Hack Club, which is a nonprofit that helps high schoolers who love computers connect with each other.<p>I’ve talked to a lot of parents about this, and one policy that stood out to me was:<p>- It’s allowed to use a computer to create things as much as you want, but you need to use the family computer in a common space - learning to code, writing a book, composing music, anything where you’re making something<p>- You can have 1 hour of screen time daily on personal devices outside of common spaces for consuming - TV &#x2F; etc<p>I liked this because it emphasizes positive use of computers. I think something like this could be great up until age 13 or so, then it should probably be a lot more permissive.<p>Edit: I’m pretty sure bentt, who is also in this thread, is the parent I’m referring to. Hi Ben!

Is &quot;social isolation&quot; inherently a bad thing?<p>Every family approaches family rules&#x2F;dynamics differently<p>30 years ago, it was &quot;who has the Game Boy&quot; or &quot;why can&#x27;t I have a Walkman&quot;<p>In 20 years, it will be something different yet again<p>We do not let our kids have real phones (they can play with old ones sometimes), and they can only use tablets or laptops for educational purposes (and an occasional (and time-limited) game)<p>Somehow all of humanity managed to survive for millennia without cell phones, smartphones, etc - your kids will, too :)

I have a 9 year old and 11 year old. They get 30 minutes a day for consumption, e.g. YouTube and games. They generally get all little more on weekends, when traveling, etc.<p>I review their YouTube usage monthly, and I also play games with them some. Anything inappropriate, we talk about it.<p>They get &quot;unlimited&quot; time for creative activities such as Roblox Studio, iMovie, and such. They&#x27;re growing up in a digital world, they need to know how to use them as tools. It&#x27;s unlimited in that I Don&#x27;t put a time limit on it, but if they&#x27;re staying on it for hours I make them take breaks.<p>They also get extra time if they&#x27;re connecting with people, or using it for education.<p>No social media till an undetermined time.

Trust in the eternal refrain “the kids are alright”.

We have a 2.5 year old. Hello to all other HN toddler owners^H^H^H^H^Hparents.<p>Regarding screentime we are pretty strict. He is not allowed more than 15 minutes a day, and that is from a selection of some farm videos. He&#x27;s also got his own iPhone but it&#x27;s not on WiFi and it&#x27;s only so that if he wants to take photos. They learn very quickly at this age.<p>Whatever you do, don&#x27;t let your toddler browse YouTube or something like that on their own, it&#x27;s like a continuous endorphine kick and they&#x27;ll just want to do it instead of healthier activities like being outside.

Our oldest got my old iPhone when she qualified for gymnasium at the age of 9.5. I have configured a quite strict regime via the iOS child control features (max 30 mins per day, no purchases, blocked tiktok.com). So far it works quite well, it’s enough to keep her connected to her mates, but restricted such that often she isn’t even using it even if she could. Whenever she can get screentime on another device she is will never stop until external force is applied.

My friend has raised her daughter (8yo) virtually &quot;mobile screen free&quot; so far. Whenever we meet up for a meal out I often look around and see other kids transfixed with phones, wheres as my friends kid is fully engaged with us adults. To be honest it&#x27;s fun playing childhood games I remember with her if she needs &quot;distracting&quot; while other adults might need to discuss something.

My son is 4, only tech he uses is the TV and some toys. Down the road, when he is 8 or so, I&#x27;m going to lock down a raspberry pie to tinker around with. No free rein to the internet, though. Just would like him to be curious, then ask me for help, so we can figure it out together. I&#x27;m still thinking about what I&#x27;ll do with the cell phone situation. Lots of variables to consider.

I have two granddaughters ages 7 and 4. The older one I spent a lot of time with her on my lap watching and singing along to typical kids songs - wheels on the bus etc. The younger one got much less on the knee time. It&#x27;s so easy just to let the screen babysit them especially if you are a tired (grand)parent but interacting with them is so much better if you can manage it.

My parents were big believers in keeping technology out of the house. I often felt left out of stuff at school and with friends because of this.<p>If this is the approach you settle on, know that I think of my parents as nice people but otherwise don’t have much of a relationship with them (live on opposite coast, email contact only, etc.).

The moment you cave and get them their own device, it&#x27;s all over, they&#x27;ll be different people from that moment forward. Even with screen time and firewall rules in place. You are doing good seeking advice, continue to pull the best ideas and incorporate them into your plan. Then stick with it. Period.<p>I wish we had.

I had a friend who basically gave their kid a tablet instead of a pacifier and, without trying to be mean, that kid was so weird. Immediately tantrum if the tablet was taken away, never made eye contact, etc. I can&#x27;t say that was the whole reason, but it made me really scared when I had my own.<p>She didn&#x27;t get any screen time at all until 7 or 8. Then we gave her 30 mins a day. If she was doing something interesting she could ask for more time and tell us how much and what for. But she usually just watched youtube or play pvz for 30 mins and done. No social media, but allowed a few messenger apps.<p>So far she doesn&#x27;t seem to resent us or even care. Not sure if it&#x27;s where we live, or the age, but most of the other parents seem similar.<p>She did have one friend who was always on TikTok and trying to make vids. Instead of begging us for TikTok, she recognized and pointed out to us how weird it was to always want to be doing that.

Unstructured play is the key from what I have read.<p>Here are some things I do with my son who just turned 5:<p>Lots of tinker type toys.<p>Big cardboard boxes.<p>Lots of outside play.<p>Lots of reading books we borrow from the library.

idk my parents officially limited my screen time and did not buy internet service for the house, and I worked around it by being really stealthy about gaming &#x2F; acquiring hardware at low cost &#x2F; scamming free internet service<p>no kids yet but one trick could be figuring out what computer related chores you could make them do so they just don&#x27;t want to spend more time at a screen

We got Gabb watches for the younger kids, and probably will go with Gabb phone when they get older.

Currently have a 11 month year old and he has had no screentime. Following this thread.

My wife and I just had our first child a little over two months ago. Our implementation is unsettled, but my wife and I are of similar mind.<p>We were both raised with basically zero restrictions on computer usage. I had a computer in my bedroom from the time I was ten when the 386 supplanted the 286 in the den. Every time the family would get a new computer, the old one would move into my room. That however came with very little of the dangers of today. Social media was not a thing. and the trouble you could get into on sub-56k internet were pretty limited by comparison.<p>Neither of us want to do straight up arbitrary &quot;screen time&quot; restrictions. They strike me as the worst kind of rule - arbitrary. Creative endeavors, reading, learning and growing shouldn&#x27;t come with restrictions. I wouldn&#x27;t be the person I am today in the job I have today if I hadn&#x27;t been able to spend endless hours trying to make my monochrome 286 do neat things.<p>And yet… On the other hand I don&#x27;t think there&#x27;s a lot of value in endless short form videos or scrolling social media.<p>For years I have seen my nieces and nephews with unrestricted personal tablet use spend entire holidays watching YouTube sitting in the corner at their grandparents house and it frankly bothers me. My in-laws will often let their very young children use their phone &quot;as a treat&quot;. One of my &quot;favorite&quot; stories to tell is my at the time three year old niece stealing her moms phone from her purse to watch YouTube videos. On her mom confiscating the phone and telling her &quot;You have to ask to use mommy&#x27;s phone&quot; she had a meltdown screaming &quot;I don&#x27;t ask. I don&#x27;t ask.&quot; over and over for a solid five minutes.<p>I suspect prior to a certain age, keeping them from electronics particularly without active guidance is probably for the best. I also suspect whatever I try to do will likely fall apart when their friends will have limitless access. I have genuinely considered homeschooling over this but my wife doesn&#x27;t like that option.<p>Recently, prior to the birth of our daughter, we babysat my friends son. My friends advice was &quot;if he starts to cry, just put on Cocomelon&quot;. After about 15 minutes of him screaming for his mommy I resigned and put it on and he immediately stopped crying - and literally everything else other than breathing - and just STARED at the TV with a unblinking gaze. I have become convinced that there is something in that show that just should not be seen by children. I had not really considered restricting my kids access to media prior to this, but it was honestly kind of frightening. I am far more afraid of whatever that is that Cocomelon contains than I am of their exposure to sex or violence.<p>The long and short is that I really don&#x27;t know, and it worries me.