> This doesn’t mean you have to silence your feelings – but just own them as your feelings. “Hey, I get that you are busy. Still, when I open a PR and nobody answers, it feels like this contribution is not wanted. If that’s true, just tell me, I can go elsewhere.”<p>Hahaha. When at first you don't get the validation you sought, follow up with a passive-aggressive narrative intended to evoke guilt.<p>FFS. <i>Other people exist.</i> People who pull this manipulative crap are the epitome of toxic. Notice the lack of <i>empathy</i> for the maintainer and what <i>they</i> might have going on.<p>It's all about how <i>you</i> feel when it comes to open-source <i>communities.</i> It selects for feeble minds you can push around through rhetoric.
The only way I've found to keep everyone playing nice is to have them keep having them (video) meet from time to time.<p>That awkwardness of people meeting after having talked to each other by text in the typical tech tantrum snarky speak that typifies the industry, is gold. Then you see them trying to walk all sorts back to try and clear that awkwardness.<p>They remember that feeling next time they consider texting like that.<p>Not really doable in open source though.
I absolutely loved this article. We could all learn from being more empathetic towards each other. I'm going to use the tools mentioned in the article to improve my relationships with my colleagues.
I wonder how our ancestors ever managed to do anything let alone build a world we live in without having someone to teach them empathy.<p>It's ridiculous.<p>We have a pandemic of narcissism thanks to social media and when they see this they go, great I can use that thing called empathy to get what I want.<p>On other hand I know people who have too much empathy living in constant depression, because, you know, there's suffering in the world. Somewhere.