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Ask HN: Please advice How do I crawl out of ADHD hellhole?

2 pointsby nerdyadventurerover 1 year ago
Hello Guys,<p>I graduated from university 2017 with a first, after university I was nearly unemployed up to today except couple of cheap freelance gigs. Also got tricked by company for freelance project (where they keep adding and changing features).<p>Tried to build several projects to earn a living, but I was not unable to complete them because my mind scattered all over the place and getting distracted by unrelated things (technologies, movies, etc.), due to dopamine cravings. It takes huge mental effort to work on things, while it comes easy for others.<p>Day by day, year by year time passed, I washed TV shows, helped relatives, read Reddit, blogs, did a little bit of coding here and there etc. Then it came to last year was diagnosed with ADHD (age: 29). I was given Atomoxitine, Ritalin, Buproprion, Venlafaxine, which are approved meds on the country, but none of those helped with focus, concentration, but Ritalin helps with mood and motivation, but there was sweating, crashing, faster digestion. Last week finally got the doctor in agreement to bring Lisdexaphetamine through countries regulatory agency, hopes it works out.<p>Now to the current situation: I feel I have wasted close to 6 years of life doing nothing (2017 - 2023), my peers from college are senior software engineers, my relatives are all in high places in big companies, I am now becoming socially withdrawn and try to avoid them much as I can. I humbly think that I am smarter than those peers and relatives, but I have huge struggles executing and doing things with consistency, the mind is restless, unless I fall asleep. I am an ambitious person, almost regret that my knowledge, skills are going to waste. It seems what Dr. Barkley says is true about ADHD.<p>&gt; You gonna be the brightest kid in the world, not gonna matter. ... You can know stuff, you won&#x27;t do stuff<p>To make things worse, my parents and relatives do not understand the disorder, my father keep pestering me to get a job and marry, since the relatives are married. Even some doctors think I have ADHD.<p>Before ADHD I struggled with OCD for years with terrifying obsessions, it took years for me to manage those compulsions with meds (Fluoxetine), now I have this, and this have wasted most young part of my life, I never being in a relationship. I also probably on Autism spectrum too (Aspergers), but I won&#x27;t try to get that label, until I crawl out of this current hellhole created by undiagnosed ADHD.<p>In addition to that my mom has Parkinson&#x27;s disease, here condition is deteriorating (memory, consciousness) year by year, Sinemet hallucinate her, then hallucination leads to suicide attempts. Both of my parents are old, they probably want me and my brothers to have a good life before they die, the current situation we barely make a living. I am scared guys!<p>Now to questions:<p>1. Is there anyone being in similar situation and overcame, please share your inspirational story and advice? 2. How could I guys apply for dev jobs, being unemployed for last 6 years after graduation? How do I explain the gap? How do I complete projects?<p>Thank you everybody!

3 comments

keikobadthebadover 1 year ago
I&#x27;d consider making a medium size FOSS project to show yourself and others you can see things through. Missing 6 years of refining your craft, it gives you a chance to catch up and show your best work, and gives a way to reduce the risk you&#x27;re asking a recruiter to take.<p>I would stop labelling yourself with diagnoses and understand there are always reasons to do nothing and avoid pain, with or without these labels - everyone has challenges, eg, responsibility for young children, the only question is the same for everyone, can you stick it out over days and weeks and acheive something? If you can, likely someone will be willing to pay for that ability, even if initially what they pay might not be huge.
BillSimsover 1 year ago
You might take at the book &quot;Limitless Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life&quot; by Jim Kwik. Read the 18 pages of chapter 1 and see whether you think it is worth reading more. You can peek at a sample of the book on Amazon, or perhaps get a copy in a local library. He thinks he is onto something and you can try to decide whether that might work for you. Whether that works for you or not, please come back later and leave a note about how that went for you.
DerekBickertonover 1 year ago
&gt; my peers from college are senior software engineers, my relatives are all in high places in big companies<p>Comparison is the thief of joy. I re-frame any FOMO (Fear of missing out) as JOMO (Joy of missing out).<p>The only person I compare myself to, is the person I was yesterday. (Have I improved?).