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Bits of Advice for 30 Years

56 pointsby abahloover 1 year ago

23 comments

karaterobotover 1 year ago
I think in my 20s, I intellectually knew every piece of good advice I would send back in time now that I&#x27;m in my mid 40s, because I&#x27;d read it on lists like these, or in books, movies, etc.<p>The difference is that I could not put it into practice at the time, maybe because I lacked sufficient experience.<p>For example, I&#x27;ve always known <i>in theory</i> that nobody is paying as much attention to what you think is most embarrassing about yourself, because they are too busy being embarrassed about whatever they think they&#x27;re doing wrong. I knew that, but it didn&#x27;t matter, I was still self conscious.<p>Now, I&#x27;ve just done so many reps of fucking up in public and seeing the almost total lack of ramifications, or the swift passage of those ramifications from my world, that I actually <i>believe</i> that advice at a core level, it can actually affect my behavior and make me content. I guess it&#x27;s the difference between knowing and grokking. And, to be sure, I would have been embarrassed to use the word grok in my 20s.
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rjh29over 1 year ago
Dude is 30 and thinks he is in a position to give out life advice... I&#x27;m 37 and nothing is figured out. Maybe wait another 30 years.
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dj_mc_merlinover 1 year ago
&gt; It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.<p>Not completely true.. recognition of awkwardness also signals people that you&#x27;re socially conscious to understand an action was not appropriate&#x2F;good. The right thing to do in an awkward situation.. has no easy rules to write down really.<p>&gt; Keep a can-do mindset.<p>&gt; Don’t get discouraged because of existing work. Instead, try to find ways to put your own spin on it.<p>&gt; Always do extra.<p>&gt; Surround yourself with people who are passionate about their work.<p>Seems like work is important to him. If it were my list, I&#x27;d add: &quot;Don&#x27;t make your work your life unless you&#x27;re really sure this is what you want.&quot;<p>edit: also regarding<p>&gt; Always do extra.<p>Which he explains as:<p>&gt; One thing I&#x27;ve noticed over the years is that there is at least one thing that seems to be common to every good, veteran programmer I know. They all follow the same deliberate and dare-I-say selfish rule to how they approach their time: Always do Extra.<p>I think it&#x27;s mostly the fact that after you&#x27;ve ran around the same barn enough times, you know what whistles and chimes to hang up after you&#x27;re done building it. So it looks like you &quot;did extra&quot; but it&#x27;s really just random stuff you&#x27;ve picked up over the years that you can do easily but is somewhat impressive looking. Still a good tip but I&#x27;d say it&#x27;s less about motivation and just.. how it works.<p>edit2:<p>&gt; Think of yourself as the person you want to be, not the person you are.<p>For motivation, sure. It&#x27;s very important to know your own faults, insecurities, weaknesses etc. since knowing when you&#x27;re wrong is just as important as knowing when you&#x27;re right. Sometimes more.
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gizmoover 1 year ago
Advice is all about course-correction. Some people are too timid, others to arrogant. Some too impulsive, others too cautious. Some people should work harder, other people should be reminded there is more to life than work.<p>For any piece of good advice the opposite is also good advice, but for a different person! That’s what the author of this list doesn’t seem to get. Advice is about adjusting behavior in a specific direction, and that is very personal because the mistakes we make in life are personal.<p>Generic advice tends to have the opposite effect. It tends to confirm people’s biases. It makes people double-down on behavior that holds them back.
kite42over 1 year ago
Some of this stuff isn&#x27;t really insightful.<p>&gt; It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.<p>Or THEY make it awkward.<p>&gt; Don’t make your problems other people’s problems.<p>Well, yea... Also don&#x27;t attack other people, and don&#x27;t steal from other people, ...<p>&gt; Help others succeed, and they’ll help you succeed in the long term.<p>Hard no. Many will take advantage of your time and advice, and never return the favor. Choose wisely who you help succeed.<p>&gt; Don’t let your expenses rise as fast as your income.<p>Once again, very generic. Don&#x27;t spend more than you make.<p>On the other hand, some of this stuff is actually never mentioned but useful<p>&gt; Keep a brag document<p>&gt; Under-promise and over-deliver.
mcemilgover 1 year ago
&quot;For me&quot;<p>&gt; Be kind first, be right later.<p>Being kind is good, we should not forget to stand up for what you believe.<p>&gt; People care more about stories than facts.<p>It doesn&#x27;t feel virtuous, in the end, what&#x27;s true matters more than stories.<p>&gt; Think of yourself as the person you want to be, not the person you are.<p>It&#x27;s good to know who you really are, not just who you want to be.<p>&gt; Surround yourself with people who are passionate about their work.<p>Being passionate doesn&#x27;t always mean it&#x27;s good. Even a passionate slave is still a slave.
dromtrundover 1 year ago
&gt; Think of yourself as the person you want to be, not the person you are.<p>I have always done this subconsciously, and although I can attribute a lot of my personal growth to this trait, it&#x27;s also the source of a lot of self-loathing. If you can&#x27;t accept the parts of you that differs from who you want to be, you&#x27;ll spend a lot of energy focusing on perceived mistakes that others didn&#x27;t even notice.
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ricardo81over 1 year ago
I&#x27;ll be a bit adversarial in my own observation (as a 42 year old)<p>In my older experiences, people who&#x27;d climbed a mountain&#x27;s worth of knowledge would be recognised. Nowadays, we tend to witness people climbing the mountain because the information is so freely available, and tbf, eminently marketable.<p>Tell me about it when you&#x27;ve reached the top.<p>There&#x27;s plenty of us putting in the effort one way or another.
buggythebugover 1 year ago
More accurate to say Smart people are curious - be curious.<p>Helping other people succeed guarantees nothing for you - people can be selfish - especially in business<p>Since romantic relationships are often an important aspect of one&#x27;s life, I would also add: If you&#x27;re interested in someone go talk to them.
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gawsover 1 year ago
&gt; Be kind first, be right later.<p>&gt; Don’t make your problems other people’s problems.<p>&gt; Read more books.<p>&gt; It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.<p>&gt; People care more about stories than facts.<p>&gt; Don’t let your expenses rise as fast as your income.<p>&gt; Less is more.<p>&gt; Curious people are smart. Be curious.<p>&gt; Don’t be afraid to look stupid.<p>&gt; It’s never as easy as it looks.<p>&gt; Perfection is the enemy of good.<p>&gt; Under-promise and over-deliver.<p>This reads more like a list of clichés I can find on posters plastered on the walls of a depressing accounting office than actual life advice. Then again, I don&#x27;t trust the advice of someone who&#x27;s only made it to 1&#x2F;3 of his life expectancy.
disambiguationover 1 year ago
Reminds me of a quote I saw recently:<p>“It has gradually become clear to me what every great philosophy up till now has consisted of – namely, the confession of its originator, and a species of involuntary and unconscious autobiography; and moreover that the moral (or immoral) purpose in every philosophy has constituted the true vital germ out of which the entire plant has always grown.”<p>I think &quot;philosophy&quot; can be replaced with &quot;advice&quot; and it still applies.
robofanaticover 1 year ago
all this is good advice but you need to be lucky to be surrounded by good people.<p>One day in a team meeting I spent 15 minutes trying to argue with 2 senior developers on why it didn&#x27;t make sense to me how they had declared CSS &quot;variables&quot; like this --10px: 10px; and were using var(--10px) in various classes all over the CSS. Team manager was in the meeting, who was basically just sitting there and ignoring all the conversation.<p>I gave up and just approved the PR.
SPBSover 1 year ago
&gt; Inspired by Kevin Kelly’s incredible 68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice [1]<p>&gt; [1] The Internet Archive has the full version.<p>This makes me so sad, I remember reading Kevin&#x27;s article back when it had the full 68 items, now it&#x27;s been stripped down to the first 5 items and the rest (plus 450 more) are squirreled away into an Amazon book which he recommends people buy instead in the post. Isn&#x27;t that awful? Thank god for the Wayback Machine.
zwiebackover 1 year ago
Great list! I&#x27;m in my 50s and all of this resonates with me but when I was 30 I was missing a few. My top one at this point is &quot;Help others succeed, and they’ll help you succeed in the long term.&quot; As I&#x27;m reaching the end of my career I can say that this behavior has been a winner 100% of the time.
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PopAlongKidover 1 year ago
&gt;Don’t make your problems other people’s problems.<p>More importantly, don&#x27;t make other people&#x27;s problems your problems.
pyrophaneover 1 year ago
&gt; Think of yourself as the person you want to be, not the person you are.<p>I would give somewhat different advice in place of this:<p>Lean to accept yourself for who you are, not as a work in progress toward becoming someone else.
weinzierlover 1 year ago
<i>&quot;Your vacation starts when you leave your house and ends when you’re back in your house.&quot;</i><p>This is an odd one. Seems trivial, what does it mean?
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ricardo81over 1 year ago
I guess the wonderful thing about a 30yo proclaiming wisdom is what they&#x27;ll say in 10 or 20 years time.
Thaxllover 1 year ago
&gt; always do extra<p>What do I get by doing that?
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bbokanover 1 year ago
31. Context is king.
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echan00over 1 year ago
This is an amazing list. Thank you!
mtrees_ioover 1 year ago
wash ur dong after every bang
iainctduncanover 1 year ago
Well this was useful in so much as it provides a link to someone else offering advice after actually living a life...<p>The hubris of the tech bro knows no bounds! lol