I'm guessing others have this experience, the uncle who's the hardware salesman who thinks your sitting at home for the last 12 months and is loud about it, the relative who just nods and looks a bit sad when you tell them what you're doing. All folk who know nothing about startups, IT and what the process is, and with christmas coming I'm dreading it.<p>Has anyone hit on a magic formula to explain what you're doing in your startup so they'll leave you alone and stop suggesting maybe you can get a job in uncle bob's shop? / you did so well at school / and so on.
Just had this happen to me over Thanksgiving and it went something like this...<p><i>Grandma:</i> What the heck is a TicketStumbler? Are you still just playing at the computer all day?<p><i>Me:</i> Oh, have you been to our site Grandma?<p><i>Grandma:</i> No.<p><i>Me:</i> Well Grandma, have you ever heard of Expedia, Kayak or Orbitz?<p><i>Grandma:</i> No.<p><i>Me:</i> What about Bizrate or Pricegrabber?<p><i>Grandma:</i> No.<p><i>Me:</i> Hmm...well essentially what we do is take sports & concert tickets from all over the internet and put them on one website. So instead of going to multiple websites you can just go to one. You know how you put all your recipe cards in one place? Well we do that, but with tickets.<p><i>Grandma:</i> Oh I see. Well, that's nice dear; would you like a beer while you work? Or how about some more candy?<p><i>Me:</i> I love you Grandma.
Two techniques I've used in the past:<p>1) Figure out the "regular" job that is most directly related to what your startup does and say you do that. For example, I have largely been involved with ad supported startups, so most of my relatives think I work at an ad agency.<p>2) If you have big clients, partners or vendors that you think your relatives have heard of you can say something like, "I work with company X". The fact that you have some relationship with a company they have heard of is typically good enough for them to think you are doing something right.<p>That being said, your non-technical family members are also a great audience on which to practice refining your pitch. If you can figure out how to explain what your startup does to your family, then you can surely explain it to users, clients, investors, etc.
I tell them I'm starting a business. I explain in fairly vague terms what pain I'm trying to alleviate.<p>Family and friends usually get it and they are very excited and supportive (of course, some family members are artists and independent contractors so 'startup' probably sounds less risky than it should).<p>Not surprisingly, it's the bigco lifers we run into at holiday parties, who were always too afraid to take the plunge, that say 'I know a guy who's hiring if you want a job.' I tell them something like 'thank you for letting me know, but my plate is full with my business'...what I really want to say is 'I'm not <i></i>*ing unemployed, you jackass, and I'm working harder than you ever have or will!"
Generally it's just "I write web software for X industry"<p>Funny story: I was on plane and got to talking to the guy next to me. He asked what I did and I told him (the above line basically). He was thoroughly enthusiastic and kept asking all sorts of questions. I finally got around to asking what he did. He said "Oh, I'm a test pilot for Lockheed Martin" ... Never could figure why he thought my job was cool.
The reaction you get has nothing to do with what you say, and everything to do with the way you say it. If you act apologetic, they'll be sad for you. If you're enthusiastic they'll be happy for you.<p>A fellow I know is a financial planner. Yawn. But I watched him explain what he did to a woman he was trying to pick up and, damn, it sounded exciting and noble. He helped people achieve their long term dreams and become independent.<p>So be kind to your family. Give them a Christmas present and make them all happy by telling them how you've got the greatest gig in the world writing software to make the world a better place. You might be surprised how much it changes things.
I've basically given up trying to really explain it. I just say I own a business that operates "on the Internet" and hope they stop asking questions after that. My favorite quotes:<p><i>Dad:</i> When you told me you were quitting school and moving to Boston to start some Internet company I thought it was just a pipe dream. But, you made me really proud.<p><i>Grandma 2</i>: I heard your business is doing well. Of course I don't understand what it is you do, but I'm proud of you!<p>No good quotes from my other Grandma; she can barely remember who I am anymore :(
As vaguely as possible.<p>"What do you do?"
"I build things"
"Like what?"
"Things that no one really needs but are willing to pay for"
"Oh"<p>Versus<p>"What do you do?"
"I work with computers"
invariably "Oh great, I downloaded a bunch of stuff that I really didn't even need just because the button told me to and now I have a virus, can you fix it?"<p>to which my answer will be<p>"No because I'm out of your pay grade".
I usually just avoid the subject - my dad is the only one who understands what I'm doing and why, so I'll talk to him about it but usually noone else.<p>Bu don't worry I'm sure Einstein had some pretty tough times explaining to his family what he did :-)
This is a tough one to be honest, my parents are more impressed by the kid down the street who repairs ipods etc... than me working as an sw engineer. Most if they're anything like my family won't understand what they can't see... that is until it makes the 'print media', where at least it's tangible.
don't talk about whats. talk about why's.<p>it's good practice for your marketing. you need to talk to your market in terms of how you're going to help them kick more ass. if you talk to your relatives in terms of whom you help kick more ass, they are more likely to give a shit.
<i>"... How do you explain what you do to Foo? ..."</i><p>not something I've really thought of much... but at the supermarket early this morning it went something like this:<p>ME <i>"Everyone is very cheery here?"</i> (referring to singing employee - who sings at 7?)<p>CHECKOUT <i>"Yes, she is quite happy always smiling."</i><p>ME <i>"So they don't employ grumpy people? or are they just all cheery?"</i><p>CHECKOUT <i>"No, they are all pretty happy?"</i><p>ME <i>"Oh, I thought they would be tired (just after 7am and I'm dead tired) and grumpy"</i> (I'm tired, I'd be grumpy)<p>CHECKOUT <i>"So what do you do?"</i><p>ME <i>"I write ...."</i><p>CHECKOUT <i>"Ohhh (surprised)"</i><p>ME <i>"... software."</i><p>CHECKOUT <i>"Ah you're one of those 'computer nerds'?"</i><p>ME <i>"Yeah... something like that."</i><p>CHECKOUT <i>"That's a compliment you know."</i><p>I should have just left it at writing.
I think delivery is important. If you are showing enthusiasm while explaining the different concepts and possibilities it's often infectious. If you can do a demo-- awesome!<p>When dealing with money-focused people it helps to reassure them that you can support yourself by consulting when needed.<p>Some people are very fearful and often think everything will always go wrong. Those are the most difficult people to reach. I often give up once I detect someone has that characteristic. Just sort of change subjects and find common ground somewhere else that does not involve talking about risk, success and failure.
Say you're starting a business or have a descriptive one line: 'making a ___ site'.<p>"Startup," "Entrepreneur" etc. is a loaded term. I think Australia & The States are almost opposites in their reaction to these terms. I'm not born Australian (5th year), & the term doesn't describe me, so maybe I'm not the ideal person to advise here.<p>But I wouldn't venture further then 'starting a business.' I certainly wouldn't describe myself as an entrepreneur. Australians like to tear the tall trees to shreds. & that'd be like calling yourself a revolutionary poet.
What I do to my relatives is difficult to explain.<p>My explanations of my work, though, vary with the comprehension I expect from the listener. For my uncle, an engineer with more patents than I've had drunken inspirations, I go in-depth into whatever has me most excited at the moment. For my cousin, the horse trader and Counterstrike fan, I give a general description of CND, bowdlerizing it of anything glamorous so I don't get asked to teach him how to hack.<p>The more difficult query comes when I don't know the questor quite as well. Unless the truth matters, and it usually doesn't, I'll take a peripheral aspect of my work and practice my story-telling abilities.
I really wish all my relatives read "Founders at Work" and understand the people who start-up better. I get ridiculed for working in the night and sleeping till noon and i get compared with owls and dogs for that but i always think of myself as Batman when i work all night.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a lady at the bank once.<p>Lady: "What do you do, then?"<p>Me: "I'm a web developer"<p>Lady: "Oh, so a web designer!"<p>Me: "Er, close, I'm a web developer - I make designs work"<p>Lady: "Oh, I get it! So like in Microsoft Word?"<p>Me: "..."<p>Thankfully, the majority of my family are computer literate and don't require babying over the subject.
It's amazing what drawing a paycheck can do. Once I started making a respectable living as a blogger, my family stopped pestering me about getting a real job or going back to school.<p>Of course, next up might be the startup thing... that'll be a whole new battle.
I shuffle bits... the customer shuffles bits... the banks shuffle bits... and everybody's happy, as long as everyone's put the right bits in the right bins.
While not pertaining to relatives or holidays, here's my experience as pertains to the social pull of various careers.<p>Graduate student.<p>0: "I'm a grad student." 1: (Deadpan/barely impressed.) "Oh. You must be really smart." 0: "Don't worry. I'm not."<p>Analyst at a pharmaceutical consulting company.<p>0: "I'm a consultant." 1: "Oh." (Isn't everyone?)<p>Quantitative trader/developer at a hedge fund.<p>0: "I'm a trader." 2: "Oh." ++<p>Unemployed.<p>0: "I'm a treasure hunter." 1: <i>WTF?</i> OR "I'm asking what you do for a job, not..."<p>Working for a startup.<p>0: "I'm starting a tech company."
1: "Oh, cool!"
0: (Excited.) "Yeah, it's fun. I'm using a ridiculously powerful programming language called Lisp. It looks like this." (Points to some monstrosity of a macro such as ONCE-ONLY.)
1: "Uh, yeah..."<p>++ The use of 2 here is not a typo. Finance is not nearly as "sexy" as I thought it would be before going in, and the standard-error descriptor is, in fact, appropriate.
I lay the bodies of my relatives in shallow graves.<p>I laid my relatives to rest years ago.<p>I don't have relatives.<p>My story changes from year to year.<p>I enjoy telling my story and explaining my business model to my family, whatever I am excited about at the time is normally easy enough to relate to something they do or understand.