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Ask HN: How would you orient your life if you could not have children?

3 pointsby maxdoopover 1 year ago
There was an article posted here yesterday about the decline of children having counsins. Aka, more and more people are not having children.<p>This spawned several threads about the &quot;importance&quot; of having children; about how &quot;selfish&quot; it is to not have children (I will refrain from voicing thoughts on that claim); and how having children is, in and of itself, the most meaningful thing a person can do.<p>As someone who cannot have children due to cancer as a teenager, I am curious to hear others&#x27; experiences in having a life without their own offspring.<p>How have you organized your life? What have you attached yourself to in order to find fulfillment? What tips or ideas might you have on the topic?

2 comments

jslabovitzover 1 year ago
I have never had the urge to have children. And whether consciously or not, I&#x27;ve never dated people who wanted kids.<p>I don&#x27;t know if my life is vastly different <i>because</i> of this choice. But I&#x27;ve always loved travel and exploring, and I suppose my experiences doing so are far more possible than folks who have families -- and who consider stability something positive. (Not all families are like that, of course.)<p>I&#x27;m in my late 50s now, and have been fortunate to be able to experience living in many places on both the east &amp; west coast of the US, as well as Europe and other parts of the world. I&#x27;ve been able to easily move to a place, and just as easily leave, when the time feels right. I&#x27;ve also been able to put a lot of time into many community&#x2F;volunteer projects, both online and off. Some of those led to burnout, but many were quite fulfilling, I suppose in the way that some people find children to be fulfilling. I&#x27;ve built a large network of friends around the world, and enjoy heading out to visit them. I also enjoy my &#x27;base&#x27; in a quiet part of a rural US state, where I can exist with only the bugs &amp; the birds.<p>I&#x27;ll close with saying that, in a way, I also &#x27;can&#x27;t&#x27; have children, but not because of the usual reasons. I have pretty extreme sensitivities to noise, light, chaotic social situations, and the like. In talking to every friend who&#x27;s a parent who&#x27;s related their parental&#x2F;family life to me, I know I&#x27;d be <i>so</i> incredibly overwhelmed that I&#x27;d likely abandon the situation -- which would be clearly bad for everyone. Hence, I&#x27;ve chosen the other path -- and it&#x27;s a good one!
tshirttimeover 1 year ago
Orient it the same way as someone who could but doesn&#x27;t.