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How was I made to be an introvert?

3 pointsby earayuabout 1 year ago
When I was a child, I was always told it is dangerous outside and not to eat anything given by strangers. One day I was with my dad and met a friend of his. My dad&#x27;s friend, whom I had never seen, handed me a piece of freshly peeled watermelon and it looked delicious. I wanted to eat it badly. But I realized they were staring at me, so I dared not to eat the watermelon. My dad said to his friend, &quot;My son is introverted. He&#x27;s very shy&quot;. It was the first time that I remembered I was labeled to be introverted. From then on, I also believed that I was introverted.<p>There were some more events that shaped me. I dare not to speak or do anything unusual in front of my parents&#x27; relatives, because I was afraid of causing their attention and they may laugh at me. That was not my illusion, I knew they would tease me. It was not because they had any malicious intent, they were just used to that kind of behaviour. Children in China won&#x27;t get as much respect as adults and it is considered okay for an adult to offend a child in front of his&#x2F;her parents.<p>When I grew up to be a teenager, I found myself popular as I was good at both sports and study. I started to gain confidence and began to be extroverted. I was always the kid followed by a bunch of others, and I liked that. When I was extroverted, I tend to be willing to take more responsibilities, showing concern for others, being optimistic. In the opposite, I tend to take less responsibilities, easily become anxious and always worried about the future.<p>But that didn&#x27;t last long, as my friend and I had to face the preassure of china&#x27;s high school and college entrance exam, we were expected to suppress our individualities to devote most of our time to studying. At every stage of my life, I had to follow rules set by different authorities – my parents, teachers, bosses at work, and the government.<p>I had MBTI personality tests several times at different ages, sometimes I was ESFJ (E stands for extrovert) but in most cases I was INTP (I stands for introvert). I love being extroverted but I can&#x27;t just switch to be one. I am 29 years old now, and I&#x27;m feeling my personality is solidifying. Possibly I will remain an introvert if I stay in the same social environment as I do now. Yet I would be happy to take a chance and attempt to become an extrovert again.

3 comments

AnimalMuppetabout 1 year ago
I think you are correct that it&#x27;s a response to the social situation. You put on a different set of behaviors for a different environment.<p>And I think that you feel that the &quot;introvert&quot; set of behaviors doesn&#x27;t fit you as well as the &quot;extrovert&quot; set of behaviors. It sounds like <i>you</i> - the person you are inside, separate from the social pressure - aren&#x27;t happy with as introverted as you think you have to make yourself to fit into that social situation.<p>Is it possible for you to respond in a more extroverted way to that social environment? If not, then your only option is to leave that environment.
hindsightbiasabout 1 year ago
There are more than two buckets.<p>It may be that a culture defines you by your testing, but it would be better to inform than define.
PaulHouleabout 1 year ago
What&#x27;s wrong with being an introvert?
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