other distros and os, think the bsds especially openbsd, patch things out and make unilateral decisions for users often. why did debian get so called out but not these others when they do a same effect?
Because they break the existing behavior. And Debian is all about stability and reliability, unlike OpenBSD, which aims for uncompromised security. Nobody would have complained it Debian had done this from the beginning, but when they break it, people complain.