There has been a lot of focus on the religion angle in the comments thus far. I think those are looking at Abby's story the wrong way.<p>First and foremost, Abby told her own story. She could have told a more abstract tale, by focusing upon the message rather than the messenger and (better) incorporating the message being delivered to other women, but then it would not be her story.<p>There are reasons why Abby telling her story is important. One is that in telling the story of everyone, of mixing experiences or of calculating statistical means, we end up telling the tale of no one. Those abstracted tales are valuable. They give us a better picture of the whole. On the other hand, they are also more difficult to relate to. You don't have to be a Mormon[1] to relate to Abby's story. You don't even have to be a woman, though men are likely to pull out a different moral. You simply have to be a person who has faced similar challenges.<p>[1] It is also worth noting that the site is directed towards Mormon women and gender minorities. See: <a href="https://exponentii.org/about-us/" rel="nofollow">https://exponentii.org/about-us/</a>
I appreciate this being shared for the perspective. Despite the advances we've made in some places, it's always worth being reminded that the progress isn't universal and there are still cultural, religious, and traditional institutions in place that keep holding us back.<p>Towards the end the author says that "I hope the next generation of girls can forge a different path than mine was able to." and to that my first thought was, the only way to do it is to help pushing them along and getting involved in promoting the sciences to the next generation. This blog post is one of them.
Meanwhile, I meet lots of women at my place of work who come from Indian, Iranian, Turkish, Arab, Hindu and Muslim backgrounds, which are all cultures that are constantly accused of being sexist in the western media. And yet these women seem to have no issues living alone abroad and pursuing a STEM career.
Some interesting context to consider with stories like this one are that the overall (global!) picture is sub-replacement fertility. That suggests we're going to see a big realignment where parents tend to come from cultures that promote children as it is hard to see why they wouldn't just outbreed everyone else.<p>I'm a little sad that I might not be around to see the results, but I assume the winner will be one of (1) a cultural approached like what the article describes, (2) renegotiating the social contract between men and women or (3) just people just having a <i>really strong</i> instinct to have children.
It's so strange to read this, as I had an almost completely opposite experience growing up in the Netherlands.<p>Even though my family is ostensibly Catholic, and the church sort of pushes traditional values, they're no match for the public schooling telling all kids that girls are just as good as boys at everything. Sure, preferences exist, but jobs are not girl or boy specific. University is just as accessible to either, and after marriage you're both expected to share the load.<p>I just didn't know any better. I thought it was the same everywhere. In hindsight it was strange, because my aunts and mother were all stay at home moms. I just never had that expectation for my future wife. Sure, due to the cost of childcare I expected either me or her to stay at home, because it just made more financial sense, but I like to think I'd have been perfectly happy with either.<p>Then I moved to Japan, and things couldn't be more different. Traditional roles are heavily emphasized here, even if it's not motivated by religion. I'll go to some event with my child, and I'll just be the sole dad surrounded by mothers (on a Sunday!). Like, I dunno what all the fathers here are supposed to be doing.<p>My wife doesn't really like her job, and fantasizes about quitting and just becoming stay at home, but every time I ask her if she'd actually be happier sitting around all day playing with our son she very quickly reconsiders. I think it's both good for him to play with lots of different kids in kindergarden, and for mom to have some time to do adult things during work. Since kindergarden is free here it's also pure extra money.
When I was reading the title and I was wondering if this happened many decades ago when social norms/expectations were very different and gender discrimination was much worse. Turns out this woman is only a few years older than me, and in her time college/career isn't that much different from mine -- except the Mormon factor. The context here matters a lot. (And I imagine even among Mormons, people take it differently and prioritize their career differently -- but no use saying that now.)
Sadly the headline implies that she didn’t get into rocket science because she’s a girl, but then the article goes on to make it clear that the main thing that kept her from rocket science was her father being Mormon <i>&&</i> her being a girl.<p>While all the women quoted within would absolutely have had systemic gradients acting against their access to STEM careers outside the LDS church, within it those gradients are nearly vertical, and are so by founder effect design and persistent and careful maintenance.
42 is not too old to become an engineer or computer programmer or whatever.<p>Don't let ageism be the next barrier after sexism and religion and the expectations of others.<p>No-one can stop you doing what you want to do. Many careers require others to give you the chance to practice your chosen career - not computing - start learning and doing it.<p>Start now, do it.
Strongly reminiscent of the British 70's folk song "I'm gonna be an engineer" by Peggy Seeger: <a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8IGVxBb5uYk" rel="nofollow">https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8IGVxBb5uYk</a><p>We didn't need religion to quash women's ambitions back in the day!
>I probably had the smartest dad in the room and the best DNA for engineering, but I barely participated because I was convinced engineering was for boys.<p>Despite your "dna" your personality and preferences can override decisions you believe are somehow preordained in your genetics. Girls don't make "good engineers". Good engineers make good engineers and it often appears very early in life that they show an affinity for that kind of work
It’s interesting, the grass is perhaps greener on the other side. My wife is planning on staying home with the kids when we have our second, and there’s a part of me that envy’s that freedom from worry on having to provide, being able to spend hours with our daughter while I may get a couple hours a night, our daughter is much closer to her mom already. In twenty years, the software I’ve written will likely have been long replaced — the bond invested in our children will be there forever.
It's worth mentioning that Ezra Taft Benson, the prophet referred to in the article, was president of the Church from 1985 to 1994. He was far and away the most conservative church president of the last 50 years, and later church presidents have been much more moderate in their teachings.