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Things I Should Have Known at 20

418 pointsby pkapur86almost 13 years ago

47 comments

rauljaraalmost 13 years ago
The list is all phrased as commands. I can't stand that. There is no one way through life, and I wish people didn't act like just because it worked for them it will work for everyone.<p>Find people that are cooler than you and try to be even cooler than them seems like a particularly terrible command to give in general. So many of the people I admire the most just don't care so much about image. And I've met too many people who've exposed their own shallow foolishness trying too hard to be cool.<p>If it worked for the author, fine. And I'm sure there exist people for whom that is actually all right advice. But life is full of edge cases and exceptions, and no one should act like their life should be the prototype for everyone else's.
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tensoralmost 13 years ago
Number two is flat out wrong. The majority of knowledge that you need to know is not bleeding edge and does not become outdated by the time a curriculum is formed. In fact, you can't even understand the bleeding edge research without first understanding what came before it.<p>If by institutions, we are talking about universities, then they are one of the best places to access vast amounts of information and experts on different domains that you'll ever find. Most of us are just too young to realize it and don't care enough about learning to make use of those resources.<p>Hell, we see article after article here on hacker news about how horrible it is that science papers are so often paywalled. Yet nearly everyone went through university during which time they probably had free access to nearly every single relevant english science article on earth.<p>Perhaps if people bothered to learn a fraction of what is available in just the computer science or engineering departments of their university we wouldn't see the same old 50 year old technologies being reinvented again and again. Hey look! It's event driven frameworks again! The next greatest thing that's 50 years old!<p>The only part of point two I like is to not have faith. Never have faith in anything. Always observe, reason, and experiment.
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raldialmost 13 years ago
#21: Floating navbars are an abomination and make your site incredibly frustrating to read on a mobile device -- especially in landscape mode. At least put an X button on that thing.
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SkyMarshalalmost 13 years ago
I thought this was going to be BS, as I do all numbered lists [1], but it's actually pretty good. Here's a TLDR, but the elaborations on each point are worth reading:<p>1. The world is trying to keep you stupid.<p>2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you.<p>3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention.<p>4. Connect with everyone, all the time.<p>5. Don’t waste time being shy.<p>6. If you feel weird about something during a relationship, that’s usually what you end up breaking up over.<p>7. Have as much contact as possible with older people.<p>8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too.<p>9. You will become more conservative over time. For this reason, you need to do your craziest stuff NOW.<p>10. Reduce all expenses as much as possible.<p>11. Instead of getting status through objects (which provide only temporary boosts), do it through experiences.<p>12. While you are living on the cheap, solve the money problem.<p>13. Learn to program.<p>14. Get a six-pack (or get thin, whatever your goal is) while you are young.<p>15. Learn to cook<p>16. Sleep well<p>17. Get a reminder app for everything<p>18. Choose something huge to do<p>19. Get known for one thing.<p>20. Don’t try to “fix” anyone.<p>[1] Change the title to "Things I Should Have Known at 20" <a href="http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html" rel="nofollow">http://ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html</a>
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pgalmost 13 years ago
Any book worth reading is worth reading slowly.
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a_bonoboalmost 13 years ago
I'm not a fan of speed reading.<p>In my experience, "gulping down" a book instead of "savouring" it leads to a rough comprehension of what the book is trying to tell you, so if someone asks you'll be able to give a brief summary.<p>But if you take your time (with a pencil) you'll be able to actually follow the person's trail of thought that went into writing what you're reading, ultimately helping you in making similar conclusions in differing areas, which is at least why I read: To broaden my own horizon, not to parrot-like mimic what other people think.<p>Also: &#62;Don’t try to “fix” anyone. Instead, look for someone who isn’t broken.<p>Not sure about this one either - having had a few relationships from that department I know that I learned a lot about people in general and had amazing experiences, something which I couldn't have learned from a relationship with a person who's "normal". Of course ultimately, it's not worth it in the long run.
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shin_laoalmost 13 years ago
These lists always miss the point.<p>For example, the list is most likely right about sleep. However, if you're not sleeping enough you'll most likely say "It's ok man, it's under control".<p>Only when experiencing personally the damages of sleep deprivation you'll say "I should sleep more". Not because you read it on a list or your friend tells you.<p>As for six packs, yes, it's important, because it will insulate you from 95% of back pain. But who's going to do stomach crunches after reading such list?<p>Céline said it better than me: Experience is a lantern that lights only the carrier (L'expérience est une lanterne qui n'éclaire que celui qui la porte).
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fumaralmost 13 years ago
It is a pretty solid list.<p>I am 25 and these are things that would have helped me at 20.<p>I am trying to accomplish some of these now.<p>3. I used to read a book per week. I stopped and now I need to get back.<p>9. I never thought I would be a conservative person. I see the difference between my younger cousins and I.<p>10. I am jobless. I definitely am trying to eliminate costs.<p>13. I started taking Udacity classes. I have a business degree. It has been harder than I imagined. I still am motivated to learn more languages besides python.<p>14. I go to the gym six days per week. I ride my bike everywhere I go.<p>20. A very simple statement. That is very true.
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dfcalmost 13 years ago
I think #8 is silly at best. I'm not even sure I know what is meant by "cooler," but whatever the definition the statement does not seem like sage advice from an elder. I am 32 now; I got over thinking about who was cool and who was not when I was 15.<p>I would add something about not burning bridges.
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gatsbyalmost 13 years ago
Previous discussion: <a href="http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4036058" rel="nofollow">http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4036058</a>
duckduckgouseralmost 13 years ago
This article is obviously written by someone (at least mentally) under the age of 35. Always try to be cooler and more accepting than others? WTF. I gave that up years ago. There too much to deal with in life without worrying about what is cool.
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yasonalmost 13 years ago
The thing I knew when I was 20 is to take everything with a grain of salt and think it through yourself and refit the lesson in your life. What's true in someone else's life often isn't true in your life. I knew it but I just didn't believe it.<p>As an adult, I know that's more true than ever and I'm able to believe it, yet only partially. I'm working on it.<p>When you think things yourself then you're not bound by the limits that other people before you have set. You don't need to be bound by "what's true and what's right": you can rediscover your own life in a very different setting. But it's a courageous path and I'm not always so courageous. I'm working on it.
jlaroccoalmost 13 years ago
Interesting list, but the presentation and layout is terrible.<p>Limiting the size of the page horizontally improves readability.<p>Limiting the size of the page vertically is just annoying.
swalshalmost 13 years ago
If I could go back to when I was 20, i'd have myself memorize this:<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology)" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology)</a><p>Would have saved me 3 agonizing years.
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alanhalmost 13 years ago
This isn’t a permalink, and it took me forever to find one (neither title nor date are permalinks? conventions mean nothing?)<p>Submission URL should be changed to: <a href="http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-20/" rel="nofollow">http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-2...</a>
squidpiealmost 13 years ago
This list highlights the one lesson I see repeated in almost all advice about life: "Be an Extrovert, and if you aren't, act like one."
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DigitalSeaalmost 13 years ago
The only way to succeed in life is to fail. This article reads like it is a definite list of commands and rules to abide by for a great life forgoing the fact that no two lives are the same. There are a few good tid-bits of info in this article, but if there is one thing in life you should know it's you will fail and thinking that learning from the mistakes of others will safeguard you from failure is a sure fire way of being doomed to a life of failure.
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sentinelalmost 13 years ago
An old man once told me I shouldn't follow anyone's advice and just figure shit out for myself in life. I wasn't sure what to do...
SquareWheelalmost 13 years ago
"Shyness is the belief that your emotions should be the arbitrators of your decision making process when the opposite is actually true."<p>This is the very opposite of how I've been trying to live my life. I do not know what to think of that.
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DodgyEggplantalmost 13 years ago
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance (Dave Barry)
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ricardobeatalmost 13 years ago
I think it's a pretty decent list. Can't understand all the negativity.
pippyalmost 13 years ago
This is a fantastic list, though I have to nitpick on this one:<p>&#62;2. Do not have faith in institutions to educate you<p>Except if you learn the fundamentals, instead of the specifics. Learn paradigms and methodologies, instead of individual systems and practices. This way as time goes on you've always got something to fall back on.
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jcfreialmost 13 years ago
I upvoted this post. however the author would do well in further explaining or expanding his pieces of advice. a lot of them are true in a specific setting, or for special occasions - they are to my understanding - not generalizable directions for your life.<p>&#62; eg. in my opinion: <i>Read as much as you can</i> and <i>The world is trying to keep you stupid</i> really go together. Read as much as necessary to overcome common misconceptions and educate yourself. don't spend weeks speed reading thru the twilight series.<p>&#62; <i>Find people that are cooler than you</i> is a poorly worded advice / way to become less socially inept. Eg if you want to stop <i>wasting [your] time being shy</i>, you need to learn from people who are more comfortable in all the social interactions you go thru every day.
gizzlonalmost 13 years ago
Liked it, but he kind of goes against himself:<p><i>"Otherwise known as morons on the internet telling me about the world like they know better. God, these people are unbelievable"</i><p><a href="http://inoveryourhead.net/how-to-recognize-an-idiot/" rel="nofollow">http://inoveryourhead.net/how-to-recognize-an-idiot/</a><p>ops..
charlieflowersalmost 13 years ago
After item 2, I wanted to upvote, but I forced myself to be patient. By item 16, I had to stop and come upvote it. It's about a 90% match for what I wish I could go back and tell my 20 year old self. At least I'm doing most of it now.
vinaytrivedialmost 13 years ago
It's great that you took the opportunity to reflect on your life. I would have enjoyed seeing more context to some of the points though. Given the HN community, "Learn to program" might be a consensus, but I would love to get more of your thoughts on it. Why? Any stories? I pick this point as just an example, but I felt there were more than a few places where some anecdotes would have worked very well.
zobzualmost 13 years ago
Be superman!<p>Or you know, you can also just<p>1/ live<p>2/ think, learn, try on your own instead of reading blogs that are telling you to be superman (cause of course you've the will power for that right?)<p>works rather well.
srlalmost 13 years ago
&#62; Get a reminder app for everything<p>While I agree with the thrust of this suggestion (that if you leave everything up to memory, you'll miss out on some important opportunities), I've found I'm most productive if I let my subconscious pick what to work on next (with a little artificial bias towards working on long-term projects to counter the inevitable fatigue).
CamperBob2almost 13 years ago
What if I already saw <i>Fight Club</i>?
maked00almost 13 years ago
Another MLM wonder. Check out the totally egregious 'contest' designed to spam the tweet-o-sphere.<p>Perfect use for a time machine, check-out these know-it-alls later in life, when life has thrown them a few curve balls, and their bodies are falling apart in their 80s.
cschmidtalmost 13 years ago
The OP link now leads to a different blog post. This seems to be the listed post:<p><a href="http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-20/" rel="nofollow">http://inoveryourhead.net/20-things-i-should-have-known-at-2...</a>
bootloadalmost 13 years ago
#51 Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, you still screw up ~ <a href="http://seldomlogical.com/2012/03/24/rules-and-resolutions" rel="nofollow">http://seldomlogical.com/2012/03/24/rules-and-resolutions</a>
virbagealmost 13 years ago
And don't forget sunscreen.
muerdemealmost 13 years ago
From my experience, these are things I wish I had known, not should have known, at 20. As Rod Stewart said, "I wish that I knew what I know now... when I was younger."
tocommentalmost 13 years ago
How do I learn to read with high retention? I'd love to do that. Currently I feel like the words I read are falling out of the back of my head :-(
sownalmost 13 years ago
For me, #5, being shy, is more about the reinforced belief -- after a life time of observation -- that no one wants my opinion regarding any topic.
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kenteralmost 13 years ago
I am 36 and admit that 19 out of 20 of this suits me. Disagree with #4. I think it leads to waste of time.
mxfhalmost 13 years ago
I assume the author is in dire need of a list of things he should have known at age 30+.
hoopsalmost 13 years ago
"8. Find people that are cooler than you and hang out with them too"<p>Oh dear, I don't think so.
jawralmost 13 years ago
I really enjoyed this post, a couple of things touched a note. Thanks.
tudorwalmost 13 years ago
Learn to ignore good advice, it's the same skill used to ignore bad :)
blackholealmost 13 years ago
According to this, I'm actually doing pretty good for being 21.
ZephyrPalmost 13 years ago
(Bias Alert: I'm 20)<p>Forgive me, but this strongly reads like the thoughts of a man who was once twenty many years ago :)<p>I am always very interested in the advice of my elders, but I have difficulty swallowing your advice. (Secondary Bias Alert: I've already got a preexisting set of rules to follow)<p>These articles on what I'm missing out on at 20 both seem to carry some deeply held beliefs that emerge as a result of some societal preconceptions about the origin of success and happiness. You stress breadth but you don' seem to put much stock in depth. It is safe to say I have learned everything I know from studying computers very intently. In this century especially, it is entirely possible (perhaps preferable) to understand the many human disciplines by examining them in that context of your own discipline. Very disparate fields coexist in any sufficiently complex system. The intersection between computer science and literature, finance, anthropology, semiotics and a slew of other fine arts, social and hard sciences seems especially apparent to me. I don't think I could fully appreciate (whatever that designation implies) Postmodernism or Bell's Inequalities through any other context. Nontechnical books tell us more about the current cultural climate than any sort of great human truth.<p>As far as steadfastness on goals - I started working on a NoSQL database for high speed transactions when I was 19, I now make a considerable portion of my living doing support through this open source, entirely altruistic and ultimately exploratory process. I wasn't "sticking to" anything, I was hanging out and having fun and not really thinking about solving any kind of money problem (perhaps this betrays my own naivete). Regardless, I don't think I could have learned Erlang, Mathematics or anything about databases without a very considerable amount of "wandering". I personally can't fathom the idea of sinking 5 years of your life into something that leaves you with some sense of inescapable dread. I can't help but think you've framed 'youth' in a cliched middle-life tone - crossing nostalgic sentiments about bygones days and entirely present-day concerns (kids these days!).<p>As far as negotiation: I am always very blunt (sometimes to a fault), but pithy negotiation has always struck me as nothing more than an intentional disregard for another human being's dignity. I once worked at a Del Taco when I was 15 and absolutely hated the many people who tried to nickel and dime the drive-through. Negotiation as a sales process is entirely different than dealing with people who work very hard, and whom you choose o pay to provide you with a service.<p>I don't care much for reminder apps or pomodoro or any of these 'productivity enhancing' apps, not to say you can't benefit from them. I can, however, speak anecdotally to the efficacy of hard physical work and deliberate focus on improving productivity. We let ourselves get away with too much, too often.<p>I think you don't emphasize compassion for other people enough. It is far too easy to become so enraptured in your own schemes that you forget how valuable it is to be in good accord with others and to have a good name. If we cultivate ourselves with an awareness that's rooted in 'reminders' and success and not human welfare, we won't get far.<p>~~~ Side Note<p>I wrote these out many months ago to codify some internal dialog spanning many years on what sort of system of action is the most profitable use of my time. I have imposed these on myself for a very long time with varying (but monotonically increasing!) degrees of success over time. I consider having rules like these to have been a considerable source of permanent, lasting change on myself. Maybe they will be useful to some other young people.<p>- Stop "collecting" programming languages beyond what is pragmatically useful or is genuinely spiritually/intellectually enlightening.<p>- Don't hold onto things I no longer need, try to think critically about if buying something will make me happier.<p>- Don't take yourself so seriously, but think seriously about the world.<p>- Never commit myself to action with only partial confidence.<p>- Do something to detach myself from desire every day<p>- Try not to prefer anything over another thing<p>- Never complain<p>- Don't let myself be guided by either love or lust<p>- Try hard to judge people only by their skill in their craft and how they treat others, not by their charisma or attractiveness.
adventurefulalmost 13 years ago
Point 20 is wrong.<p>You'll find that everybody is 'broken' in their own special ways. There really isn't any such thing as someone that isn't broken (unless you're talking about serious mental trauma as the definition of "broken"). We all accumulate baggage over a lifetime, and from each relationship; we all have weird quirks and strange behaviors and eccentricities of varying degrees, and weird reactions to things we do or don't like, and so on.<p>Find someone whose 'broken' qualities are acceptable to you (not a deal breaker), or even adorable if you're so lucky.
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adventurefulalmost 13 years ago
#792: ideas are not that valuable<p>#793: a modest product today, is better than a perfect product next year<p>#794: incorporating, lawyers, accountants, are not that important, build something and then worry about that<p>#795: find a pin, and knock it down; if you never knock down that first pin, you're never going to knock the rest down<p>#796: force yourself to get very good at selling; selling yourself, selling your vision, selling your product, etc.
klbarryalmost 13 years ago
None of these are bad things, but they are not universal truths or musts.
yashchandraalmost 13 years ago
"You will become more conservative over time"<p>Could not agree more with this. When I was 20, man I was crazy. Now, everything scares me. I am only 30.